Me: “Thank you for calling tech support. This is [My Name]. How may I help you?”
Customer: “Come mow my lawn!”
Me: “Excuse me, ma’am?”
Customer: “I said, come mow my lawn!”
Me: “I’m sorry, this is tech support. Are you having trouble with your cable TV or Internet?”
Customer: “I know who this is! I want you to mow my lawn! In the rain! I pay y’all enough every month, so you better come mow it!” *click*
Me: “…”
(I was working checkouts the other day when I overheard this happening at the service desk.)
Customer: “Hi, I’d like to return these outfits.”
Coworker: “All right, may I see your receipt?”
(The customer hands over a receipt dated about seven months ago.)
Coworker: “I’m sorry, we can only accept returns within the first ninety days.”
Customer: “But my child outgrew these! Am I supposed to just lose money on them?”
Coworker: “Ma’am, children do tend to outgrow clothing.”
Customer: “Well, what am I supposed to do with them? Why should I lose money because of this?!”
Coworker: “…”
This story is part of the Embarrassing Parents roundup!
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Read the Embarrassing Parents roundup!
Patient: “How much is my total?”
Receptionist: “$200.”
Patient: “What? That’s ridiculous! I should get a discount because I come here so much.”
Receptionist: “Ah, well, we really don’t see you more than a couple of times a year for checkups.”
Patient: “Well, he’s the most expensive dentist in the area.”
(The dentist happens to walk by.)
Patient: “Hey, doctor, you’re the most expensive dentist in the area!”
Doctor: “Thank you. It’s not true, but thank you.” *walks away*
Patient: “Are you sure you can’t give me a discount?”
Receptionist: “Sorry.”
Patient: “But I pay for his Bimmer!”
(The doctor actually drives a Honda.)
This story is part of our Demands For Discounts roundup!
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Read the Demands For Discounts roundup!
(Our insurance transmitter is experiencing problems, so we are unable to transmit to any insurance companies when filling prescriptions. I explain this to one customer, who decides to sit and wait for a while to see if the transmitter will come back up. Meanwhile, another customer comes in with a prescription.)
New Customer: “Hi. I’d like this filled, please.”
(I explain the transmitter problem.)
New Customer: “Oh, that’s okay. I don’t have insurance.”
Me: “No problem. We’ll have it ready in just a few minutes.”
Original Customer: “Wait! I was ahead of her! Why isn’t mine ready?!”
Me: “We are still waiting for the insurance transmitter to come back up, sir.”
Original Customer: “Well, how did you fill hers?!”
New Customer: “I pay cash; I don’t have prescription coverage.”
Original Customer: “Well, I pay cash, too!”
Me: “You want to just get it at retail price, and not use insurance?”
Original Customer: “Yes! I have cash! I’ll pay for it, just fill it now!”
(Five minutes later…)
Me: “Okay, sir, we’ve got you ready. The total comes to $35.99.”
Original Customer: “WHAT?! My co-pay is only $3.00!”
Me: “Sir, you said you wanted to go ahead and pay cash price since the insurance transmitter is still down.”
Original Customer: “I do have cash! See?” *shows a wallet with cash in it* “Why is it $35?! You people don’t know anything! I’m taking my business elsewhere!”
Me: *facepalm*
This story is part of our Pharmacy Roundup!
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Read the Pharmacy Roundup!
(We are running a little sale that offers the customer 20% off on regular priced item.)
Customer: “So, can I use the sale coupon on sale items?”
Me: “Unfortunately, the coupon is only good on regularly priced items.”
Customer: “What about sale items?”
Me: “It can only be used on regularly priced items.”
Customer: “But the shoes were $109, and now they are $79.”
Me: “We can only use it on regularly priced items.”
Customer: “But it’s marked down!”
Me: *losing patience, but still with a smile* “I’m sorry, but again we can only use it on regularly priced items.”
Customer: “Well, then make my shoes regular priced and give me my 20%!”
Me: “Sure, I’d be happy to. You grand total comes to $87.20.”
Customer: “Finally! I swear, all you people try to do is swindle us out of buying sale items with that regular priced coupon. But I see through what you’re trying to do.”
Me: “Yes. I’ll do everything I can to give you the best deal you want.”
