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What Year Did He Pop Out Of?

, , , , | Right | CREDIT: Shroom_Toad | May 25, 2022

I’m a woman in my twenties and I work for a restaurant, delivering food. This is the first delivery of my shift — $44 worth of food, fresh, hot, and ready. I pull up to the customer’s house, grab the food, walk up to the door, and knock.

The customer opens the door. It’s a man who appears to be anywhere between thirty-five and forty-five.

Me: “Good evening! How are you tonight, sir?”

Customer: “I’m all right. How about you?”

Me: “Pretty good, thank you!”

I check the receipt real quick, because it’s an unpaid order, and turn back to him.

Me: “It looks like it’s going to be… $44.62!”

He starts to stick his hand out to give me what I am expecting to be cash, but I have to stop him because I realize he is trying to hand me a paper check.

Me: “Err, I’m sorry, sir, but I don’t think we can take checks.”

Customer: “Really? But I’ve paid with checks all my life. It’s never been an issue before.”

Me: “I understand. Give me a second to check with my manager, but do you have any cash or a card on hand by any chance?”

Customer: “No… all my cash is in the bank. I have a card but there’s nothing on it.”

That explanation doesn’t make sense to me; how can you have a bank account with cash in it but a card with nothing on it? But I don’t question him about it.

Me: “All righty, give me just a few minutes, then.”

I call our store, but they are all busy, so I text our work group chat asking if we can take checks. A few minutes go by, and I get an answer from one of our managers, who says we can’t unless it’s a business check. Personal checks don’t work with our computer systems.

Me: “Sorry, sir, it looks like we aren’t able to take checks—”

His tune completely changed as soon as the words left my mouth. He went from being polite to all of a sudden, “Okay… bye.” And he slammed the door in my face. I took his order back to the store.

That Would Be A Mis-Steak, Part 4

, , , , | Right | May 25, 2022

I work the meat counter at a grocery store. An older man comes to the counter with two younger women.

Customer: “We need three steaks! The best you got!”

Me: “Well, it’s a great price on the strips this week.”

Customer: *Putting his arms around the women* “Look, I don’t need a d*** discount! Give me the best steaks you have! Spare no expense!”

Me: “Filet mignon is always a good bet.”

Customer: “Now you get it! Three of those!”

I wrap them up.

Customer: “H*** yeah! We are balling out tonight!”

A few minutes later a cashier comes back with the steaks.

Cashier: “His card was declined.”

Related:
That Would Be A Mis-Steak, Part 3
That Would Be A Mis-Steak, Part 2
That Would Be A Mis-Steak

Friend-To-Friend Exchange Rates Are Getting Bad

, , | Friendly | May 24, 2022

I was visiting my friend to help with something. I was actively busy playing with her little girls while she cleaned up some stuff when she suddenly showed up to ask me a question.

Friend: “I don’t suppose you want to buy some quarters?”

Me: “Not really, no. I try not to carry any change.”

Friend: “I could sell you ten for twenty bucks.”

Me: “Oh, well, that’s such a bargain, I’d be a fool to say no!”

Friend: “Yeah, I’m willing to sell them at a discount to get rid of them.”

She eventually realized the cause of my sarcasm and clarified that they were collector coins — worth more than twenty dollars. She had been planning to give them as a gift to a friend but for some reason had changed her mind. She was offering them to me to avoid the hassle of reselling them through proper channels.

I still turned her down. I don’t want the hassle of figuring out how to resell them, either.

Was The Book “Bartering For Dummies”?

, , , , , , , | Right | May 23, 2022

It’s approximately 5:30 on a Saturday night — about thirty minutes before we close. I’m alone at the counter while my only other coworker is in the shelves tidying things up. Two teenage boys come in, one wearing what appears to be a band uniform consisting of a black button-up, black slacks, and a silver tie. It strikes me as a little odd, but I don’t really think anything of it.

About ten minutes later, the boy comes up to the counter with a book in his hand.

Boy: “Yeah, so… I don’t have any money, but what about—” *slowly places an unopened can of soda on the counter* “—you take this?”

Me: “Sorry, mate, no can do.”

Boy: “Oh. That’s okay. I’ll just go put it back.”

Me: *Holding back laughter* “Sure thing.”

Boy: “Did you, uh… want the soda anyway?”

Me: “Sure…? Why not? Thanks, mate.”

He proceeds to hand over the soda and I put it behind the counter. [Boy] wanders back into the shelves, followed by his friend. Five or so minutes later, he leaves with his friend. Then, my coworker comes wandering up, clutching another can of soda with a confused expression on his face.

Coworker: “Did he…?”

Me: “Yup.”

Coworker: “Did you…?”

Me: “Nope.”

Coworker: “But you…?”

Me: *Holding up my own can* “Yup.”

No ID, No Room

, , , , | Right | CREDIT: ThatsNoMoOnx | May 23, 2022

A man walks into my hotel lobby at about 2:00 am.

Guest: Please tell me you have a room. I just need one bed to sleep. I got a flat tire driving from [City] and literally came into the parking lot on metal!”

As we’re right off the highway, we get a lot of these. No problem; I have a few rooms left to sell.

Me: “Oh, man, that sounds horrible! I have a few rooms left; however, they are double queen rooms. The rate is $159 plus tax.”

Guest: *Pauses* “Oh, dang. You don’t have anything cheaper than that?”

I sort of feel for the dude because I just came in tonight and found that [Hotel Chain] decided it wanted to have four tiers of pricing instead of three, so the queen rooms are no longer the same price as the king rooms.

Me: “Unfortunately, no. I can give you a AAA discount which will save you 10%. I will need to see your ID.”

The guy looks in his pockets.

Guest: “Hold on, I left it in my car.”

He comes back with no ID.

Guest: “So, how badly do you need my ID?”

Me: “Pretty bad, since you can’t rent a room without one.”

Guest: “I have money! I can pay for the room! I just need somewhere to sleep until I can get this tire fixed. I left my ID in [City] and I’m driving to [Town].”

Who travels that many miles without a driver’s license that isn’t up to no good? Sorry, but I’m judgy. I instantly feel like he’s up to something.

Me: “That’s all well and good, but I have no idea who you are and no way to know who you really are, and I can’t rent a room to some rando.”

Guest: “Aw, man, I don’t know what I’m going to do.”

I looked up a twenty-four-hour tire fix company and gave him the number. Thankfully, he left the lobby, so hopefully, they came and got him out of my parking lot. I didn’t see him when I left.

I really don’t think he had a flat. But the point is if you don’t have an ID, you don’t get a room.