(A customer walks up to my berry stand and motions at a pack of strawberries.)
Me: “Hello, sir. A pack is $11.”
Customer: *hands me a dollar bill*
Me: “Sorry, it’s $11, sir.”
Customer:*hands me another dollar and looks at me expectantly*
Me: “Well, I just need nine more of these.”
Customer:*hands me another dollar bill*
Me: “We’re getting there. Eight more.”
Customer: *looks at me, confused, then walks away*
This story is part of the Farmer roundup.
Me: “Hello, welcome to [Bank]. What can I do for you today?”
Customer: “I want to withdraw ten-hundred dollars.”
Me: “Ten-hundred? Is that one thousand?”
Customer: “Don’t say that so loud! I don’t want people to think I’m getting one thousand. That’s why I said ten-hundred!”
This story is part of the Ignorant About Money roundup!
Read the next Ignorant About Money roundup story!
Read the Ignorant About Money roundup!
Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but we cannot accept $50 bills. It’s against our security policy.”
Customer: “When the h*** did this happen?”
Me: “Two years ago, ma’am.”
Customer: “I was in here last week and paid with a $100 bill.”
Me: “Ma’am, our register wouldn’t allow us to enter $100 bills. Do you happen to have a credit card?”
Customer: “What’s your name?! I want to speak with your manager!”
Manager: “What’s the problem?”
Customer: “Your staff is lying by telling me he cannot accept a $50 bill. I was in here last week and paid with a $100 bill!”
Manager: “I was on register all last week, ma’am, and I would have told you the same thing. It’s against our policy to accept bills $50 or larger.”
Customer: “FINE!” *rips the bill in half* “HOW ABOUT NOW?”
This story is part of the Customers Suffering The Consequences Of Their Own Actions roundup!
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Me: “Hello, this is [Bank]. How can I help you?”
Customer: “Yeah, I deposited money through your ATM yesterday and it still isn’t showing up in my account.”
Me: “Okay, sir, can I just get the card number from the ATM card that you used to make the deposit.”
Customer: “I didn’t use a card.”
Me: “I’m sorry, sir, I might have misunderstood. Did you make your deposit into the ATM or the night drop box?”
Customer: “No, I put it into your machine but I didn’t use a card. I didn’t need one.”
Me: “Sir, I still don’t understand how you could have made your deposit into the ATM without using a card. Could you please describe the steps you went through?”
Customer: “I drove up to the machine, filled out an envelope, and stuffed it into the little door that said deposit, but I didn’t use no card.”
Me: “Sir, the deposit door on the machine will not open without a card. How exactly did you put the envelope in?”
Customer: “Whoever designed those machines is a freaking moron. I couldn’t figure out how to open the little door so I got my pocket knife out and pried the door open. Then I stuffed the envelope with my deposit in there as best I could and drove away!”
This story is part of the Ignorant About Money roundup!
Read the next Ignorant About Money roundup story!
Read the Ignorant About Money roundup!
(A woman enters the bus with her son.)
Me: “Excuse me, ma’am. Your son didn’t pay the fare.”
Customer: “But children are free!”
Me: “No, ma’am. Children’s fare is currently at seventy-five cents.”
Customer: “Well, I’m not paying that! It’s free!”
Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but you’ve been misinformed. Children still have to pay a fare to ride the bus.”
Customer: “No, they don’t! You’re just trying to scam me!”
Me: “The farebox is locked, and is only accessed at the end of my shift, when I’m long gone.”
Customer: *pointing to the farebox* “You’re lying! This thing opens right up!”
Me: “If you can open it, your son can ride free.”
(The customer proceeds to struggle with the box for some minutes.)
Customer: “Seventy-five cents, you said?”
