Customer: “Why is my credit card being denied?”

Me: “Is it an American credit card?”

Customer: “Yes, I’m from Texas and I’m traveling to Alaska.”

Me: “Credit card companies sometimes block purchases made in other countries if they don’t know you’re traveling.”

Customer: “But I’m not in another country.”

Me: “This is Canada, sir.”

Customer: “But it’s on the way to Alaska.”

Me: “I know, sir, but it’s still another country, so you probably need to call your credit card company.”

Customer: “What stupid country is this?!”

Me: “Actually, sir, it would happen with any country you travel to because it’s a safety feature for your own security.”

Customer: “Well, if Canada wasn’t in the way of Alaska, this wouldn’t be a problem!”

Customer: “Excuse me… how much is this?”

Me: “$24.99.”

Customer: “But the sign says it’s $19.99! Ha! So you have to give it to me for that!”

Me: “Ma’am, the sign says $19.99 and up.”

Customer: “But it’s the law!”

Me: “Ma’am, I assure you, it is $24.99.”

Customer: “Well, I’m a lawyer, and it’s the law!”

Me: “You’re not a lawyer, are you?”

Customer: “No. How did you know that?”

Me: “There is no such law.”

Customer: “You’re too smart. I just thought I’d try to scare you into changing the price.”

This story is part of our Customers Caught Lying roundup!

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Me: “Would you like a free year of anti-virus for this computer?”

Customer: “No, that is too expensive! In my country, we can get it for about $16 USD!”

Me: “Well, in this country you get it for free when you buy a computer.”

Customer: “No, it’s too expensive. You give me a deal?”

Me: “I can charge you $16 US dollars for the anti-virus.”

Customer: “Okay! You see? You gave me a deal.”

Customer: “Hey, I have an overdue charge on this book. Can I get it removed?”

Me: “I’m sorry, but if you kept the book past the due date, then I can’t remove the charge.”

Customer: “Then can I just keep the book?”

This story is part of our Libraries Roundup!

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Me: “Okay, that’ll be [total].”

Customer: *gives me a twenty* “Don’t give me any quarters!”

Me: “All right.”

Customer: “I already have all the quarters!”

Me: “Oh, are you collecting coins?”

Customer: “No, but I already have all the quarters! If you give me any quarters, then I’ll know that I don’t have all the quarters! I’ll have to start all over!”

This story is part of our Weird Checkout Encounters roundup!

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