Caller: “I have an unauthorized charge on my account!”

Me: “Which charge is it?”

Caller: “The one from [Restaurant known for waitresses with ample sized busts]. That was a Sunday… I would never go there on a Sunday! Someone must have stolen my card. This is so insulting, to have this charge on there. I need you to remove it immediately!”

Me: “Sir, the date on your account summary is the date the charge cleared your account. The actual date of the transaction at the establishment was two days before, on Friday.”

Caller: “Oh… then that was me.”

(A customer drives up to my window and hands me a ticket.)

Me: “Hello, sir. The charge is $8, please.”

(The customer hands over the money and then looks at the screen which displays the charge amount.)

Customer: “You know, your screen is confusing. Before, it said 18, and now it says 8.”

Me: “Yes, the screen displays the time before the ticket is read.”

Customer: “Hmm, then you better fix your clocks. I don’t think I have ever heard of 18 o’clock.”

Me: “The clock is on military time.”

Customer: “Oh…”

Friend in Customer’s Car: “Didn’t you serve in Iraq?”

This story is part of the Telling Time roundup!

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(I am helping a customer apply for financing to purchase some items. It is around 2008.)

Me: “Oh, I’m sorry. Your application was denied.”

Customer: “Wow. I really didn’t expect that.”

Me: “Well, they’re a lot stricter with who they give credit to because of the recession.”

Customer: “The what?”

Me: “The recession.”

(Customer looks very confused.)

Me: “Hundreds of people foreclosed on their houses. The government had to pay billions of dollars to bail out the banks.”

Customer: *shrugging shoulders* “Hmm. Well, I must have missed that!”

Me: “Your total is [total].”

(The customer hands me card; I run it and hand it back to her.)

Customer: “Oh, no! That’s my debit card! I don’t have any money in my account. It’s going to be declined.”

Me: “Well, your purchase went through.”

Customer: “Oh, well, if it went through, that means I have enough money in my account.”

Me: “Well, not necessarily. My brother got himself into a lot of debt by using his cards after he’d reached his limit.”

Customer: “You mean I could still use this card even if there’s no money in the account?”

Me: “It’s possible, but I’m not familiar with your bank system.”

Customer: *to friend* “Do you want to go to the nail salon?”

This story is part of the Customers-Causing-Recessions roundup!

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Me: “Hey, how we doing today?”

Customer: “I have a question.”

Me: “Okay, what can I help you with?”

Customer: “If  I buy a phone from you guys, do I still have to pay for the service?”

Me: “Yes, we deal with the contracts for the providers.”

Customer: “Oh. I thought you guys were cooler than that…”

This story is part of the Cheapskate Customers roundup!

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