Can’t Let That Slide

, , , , , | Right | September 10, 2018

(I have finished ringing up a customer and have given her the total. We have the new chip reader in our pin pads, but it only works for credit.)

Customer: *with card ready to stick in* “Chip or slide?”

Me: “Will that be debit or credit?”

Customer: *angrier now* “Chip or slide?”

Me: “Well, ma’am, that depends; will it be debit or credit?”

Customer: “It doesn’t matter! Chip or slide!”

Me: “Well, ma’am, it does matter. If it is debit you need to slide it and if it is credit you need to insert the chip.”

Customer: *grumbles under her breath* “Fine.”

I Want Discount Because Reasons

, , | Right | September 10, 2018

(It’s the day before Canada Day and the store is insanely busy. It’s going smoothly, however, until, this customer comes to my register. He has already spent about five minutes doing “unprepared” price matching: not knowing where something is, not highlighting, circling or flagging the items that he wants to match, not writing down page numbers of items on sale.)

Me: *coming to the end of the transaction* “So your total today is [relatively low price].”

Customer: “What? That can’t be right.”

Me: “Well, there is tax on the popsicles and ice cream.”

Customer: “Can you check that?”

Me: “You want me to check the prices on everything?” *at this point, a number of significantly long lines have started to form*

Customer: “No, can you calculate that it’s correct? Did you price match the cherries right?”

(I hold back a sigh and pull out the register calculator, adding everything, including tax. Unsurprisingly it’s the same total as what I and the computer say it is. I show the customer and he skeptical accepts it.)

Customer: “Well, can I see a supervisor or a manager about it? I didn’t think it would be this much, so maybe I can get a discount?”

Me: *taken aback by the question, but calls the supervisor down* “All right, she’ll be right down.”

(My supervisor comes down and is thoroughly taken aback by the question like I was, but basically says the same thing I did: the computer doesn’t make mistakes and that’s the price of his groceries. Finally he concedes.)

Customer: “All right, fine. But I’m gonna calculate this myself and if it’s wrong, I’m coming back later and I want a full refund if I’m right.”

Me: *handing his change* “Have a good weekend, sir.”

(He never came back later.)

It’s Soda Water Under The Bridge

, , , | Right | September 10, 2018

(I’m a waitress at a Thai restaurant at the beginning of summer. Recently we’ve had a lot of customers due to the cruise ships visiting and we’ve run out of a couple of drinks. I’m waiting on a table of three who’re staying at a very expensive hotel.)

Me: “Hi there, are you ready to order?”

Customer #1: “Just drinks at the moment. Could I get a soda water?”

Me: “Sorry, sir, but we’re out of soda water today. But we do have tonic water.”

Customer #1: “Well, I’ll just go buy one somewhere else.”

Me: “Okay, but I’ll have to go check with the manager and see if that’s allowed; otherwise you may have to pay a corkage fee, which is usually around $5.”

Customer #1: “That’s ridiculous. It’s not my problem you don’t have what I want.”

(I quickly take the other two’s orders and when I come back out with their drinks, a complimentary jug of water, and an extra glass, I find out the man has left to go buy the soda water.)

Customer #2: “I’m sorry about the other guy. I’m afraid there’s not much you can do when they’re brought up like that.”

Will Eventually Do A 180 On The 189

, , , , | Right | September 8, 2018

(I work in sales at a call center for a large cable company. We also provide Internet, phone and home security services. A mailer has been sent out offering a bundle deal for all services, premium level, starting at $189.99 for two years. This is one of many calls I’ve taken:)

Me: “Thank you for calling [Company]. My name is [My Name]. How may I help you today?”

Customer: “Yeah, I got one of these things in the mail for $189 and I want to know more about it.”

Me: “Sure! I’d be happy to go over the details of that offer with you!”

(I gather his information, going over the details of the offer while I’m looking over his account. I see he’s in a bundle very similar with premium cable, the fastest Internet we offer, and telephone for $169.99 a month. Our security is normally $40 a month, so this bundle will offer a great saving on adding that service to his account.)

Customer: “Wow, that sounds like a really good deal! All those channels and the fast Internet for $189. But do you have any specials if I don’t want the security?”

Me: “Well, sir, you’ve already got the bundle without the security. However—”

Customer: “Listen, lady, I want the deal price without security. I just got all this stuff installed two weeks ago and I didn’t know about this sale until today. I know I have two more weeks to change my services until I’m locked into this contract. So do whatever it is you have to get me this price!”

Me: “But, sir, your monthly rate is already—”

Customer: “It’s not $189. I want it at $189. Now!”

(This goes on a couple more times,  with me trying to explain his rate is $169.99 and him cutting me off before I could tell him his desired rate is $20 more.)

Me: “Let me see what I can do to get you at $189, sir. Please hold.”

(I go explain to a supervisor what’s going on with this customer and how he won’t be happy until his rate is $189.99.)

Supervisor: *laughing* “Well, it’s all about what he wants. Add something that’s $20, note the account really well and when he calls back in a month to complain about being charged for something he doesn’t want we’ll just take it off and credit it.”

(I do as told, adding a fitness channel package for $6 and a foreign language package for $14.)

Me: “Great news, sir! I was able to get your monthly rate to $189.99, plus unlocked about twenty more channels for you. How does that sound?”

Customer: “Finally! I can’t believe it took fifteen freakin’ minutes for you to do your d*** job!”

We Eat Complainers Like You For Breakfast

, , , , , , | Right | September 5, 2018

(A guest is mad because our rates went up during the busy season but any other hotel would have meant at least an hour drive so he takes my last room.)

Me: “So if you drive toward the McDonald’s you’ll see a turn in to our back lot. Just go in door four and you are right there!”

Guest: “I still think your rates are too high!” *I just smile because he is already getting discounts* “But is your breakfast at least free?”

Me: “Yes, sir, we have a great breakfast from 6 to 10 am right down here.”

Guest: “Well, then, I will come down and eat ALL your food. How about that?”

Me: “We do hope you enjoy the breakfast.”

(He made it to his car and headed toward the back lot before I started laughing, but it was close.)

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