Those Kinds Of Charges Feel Like Battery

, , , , , , | Working | April 24, 2020

(I need to get a new battery for my phone. I look online on several sites and they all list the price as $40. Not wanting to wait for a battery to ship, I decide to go to a cell phone store at my local mall.)

Me: “Hi, I need a battery for this phone. Would you happen to have any in stock?”

Clerk: *looks at phone* “Yes, we carry this one. Let me get one for you.”

Me: “Great! How much is it?”

Clerk: *checks register* “It’s $60. Plus tax.”

Me: “Whoa, wait! This battery is $40 on virtually any website that sells them. Why is it so expensive here?”

Clerk: “Well, we also have to install it for you.”

Me: *indignant* “I can install it myself, thank you.”

Clerk: “No, we have to install it for you or else we can’t sell it to you.”

Me: “So, let me get this straight: you’re charging me $40 for the battery and $20 to install it, something I can do myself in ten seconds flat?”

Clerk: “Yep.”

Me: “No.”

(I turned right around and walked out and bought my battery online. It lasted the remaining lifetime of the phone. The mall shop in question, however, did not last a year.)

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A Penny For Your Thoughts. Seriously, Use Your Brain!

, , , , , | Working | April 23, 2020

(In Canada, we have not used the penny since 2013. Totals are either rounded up or down. For example: $1.52 would round to $1.50, while $1.54 would round to $1.55. Credit cards still use the penny.)

Me: “Hi. I’d like to buy these and pay with the store credit I have.”

Worker: “Okay. Your total comes to $45.20. The store credit is $45.19, so your new total is $0.01.”

Me: *expectant pause* “So, can I get my receipt, then?”

Worker: “No. You still owe one cent.”

Me: “Well, yeah. But that’s a penny. I literally can’t pay you that.”

Worker: “If you don’t pay, my till will be off. You have to pay one cent.”

Me: “Okay, fine. Then I guess I have to put the penny on my credit card.”

Worker: “You can’t. Because of the store credit, I processed the transaction as cash. You have to pay in cash.”

Me: “I don’t understand what you want me to do. I can’t give you one cent. The lowest coin I have is $1, but then you owe me $0.99, which you can’t do, either.”

Worker: *light-bulb moment* “I think I’d better call the manager.”

(The manager arrived and quickly overrode the message, handing me my receipt so I could go. I’m still not sure how the worker expected me to find currency that we haven’t used for almost seven years.)

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Who Trusts This Woman With Money?!

, , , | Right | April 21, 2020

I work in a money exchange office. We’ve just installed an ATM outside, but it’s not functioning yet. Of course, we covered the entire screen with an “OUT OF ORDER” sign. I notice a woman pushing buttons and the card slot. Then, she turns back to me, looking lost, and she keeps pushing the buttons on the ATM.

Customer: *Screaming* “Where is my card? It stole my card; why is it not giving it back?!”

Me: “Excuse me, ma’am, but why did you insert a card into a clearly out-of-order machine? Didn’t you look at the screen before you put your card in?”

She keeps pushing the buttons randomly and, finally, the machine gives the card back. After a few minutes, another woman runs toward the machine with a credit card, ready to put it into the machine.

Colleague: “Ma’am, wait! Don’t insert your credit card there!”

Customer #2: *Surprised* “Why? Is it not working?”

I ended up covering even the card slot with another “out of order” sign.

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A Gift Card For Life!

, , , , | Right | April 20, 2020

I am helping a customer who is talking to me about how he just got back from a funeral for his grandmother and how he is glad to be back. I finish ringing him up and he uses a gift card worth $100.

Me: “All right! That’s a pretty nice gift card!” 

Guy: “Yeah, it’s my dead father’s.”

Me: *Pause* “I hope that wasn’t your inheritance.”

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Very Cost Defective

, , , , | Right | April 10, 2020

(Our entry-level scanner is better than another company’s best-rated scanner; the other brand is by no means useless but we consider it to be only suitable for hobbyists and amateurs. Despite that, we do get compared to them by people that should know better:)

Caller: “Hi. How much is the new scanner?”

Me: “Well, it is [several thousand], before options.”

Caller: “What?! That is at least three times as much as the [Other Brand] one!”

Me: “These systems are designed and built to a certain standard, not to the cheapest price.”

Caller: “…”

Me: “Was there anything else I can help you with?”

Caller: “Can you drop the price?”

Me: “Can I drop the price by two thirds? No, I think your only option is to buy the cheaper brand.”

Caller: “No, I can’t. We bought one and it broke within two months, and when it worked the data was useless. Now there are loads of bad reviews online. Could you do a part exchange?”

Me: “For the broken budget scanner, I’m afraid not. Prices start around [several thousand]; should you need any assistance in the future please get in contact.”

(I hang up.)

Boss: “What was that about?”

(I explain.)

Boss: “Good call. We can’t help people like that. If price is more important than quality they are in the wrong job.”

(It turns out that the customer called back a few weeks later and paid up. We haven’t had any complaints.)

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