Asking For A Tax Hax

, , , , , | Right | September 24, 2019

(We are working on trying to price-match an item for a customer:)

Me: “I’ve changed that price for you now.” *turns the screen around to show him the change I’ve made* “Your total is [total].”

(Please keep in mind that he was trying to price-match an item through one of our competitors that was twenty dollars cheaper online and had free shipping with it.)

Customer: “Why is my total so high? I thought you price-matched it!”

Me: “I did. See? Right here.”

(I turn the screen back around to show him the new price.)

Customer: “Then why is that my total?”

Me: “You still have to pay tax on the item.”

Customer: “I want you to price-match!” 

Me: “I did. I changed the price of the item to the price that you showed me online.”

Customer: “Just do whatever you need to do to make it be that price exactly.”

Me: “I can’t just take off the tax, sir.”

Customer: “I’m not asking you to take off the tax.”

Me: “Yes, you are. You’re asking me to change the price of the item to give you that total amount, which would require me taking off the tax.”

Customer: “No, I’m not asking you to take off the tax. I’m just asking you to give me that total.” *points to my computer screen*

Me: “Sir, that would require my taking off the tax. I cannot just take off the tax unless you are tax-exempt.”

Customer: “I’m not asking you to take off the tax.”

Me: “Yes, you are!” 

Customer: “No, I’m not. I’m just asking you to make my total this amount.”

Me: “Sir, that would require me changing the price of the item to some random price that isn’t even the price that our competitor is offering it at; then, we wouldn’t actually be price-matching.”

Customer: “Just do whatever you need to do in order to give me this total.”

Me: *flabbergasted by this point* “I can’t do that, sir.”

Customer: “Then you aren’t price-matching.”

Me: “Yes I am. I changed the price of the item to the price that you showed me.”

Customer: “Then give it to me for that price!”

Me: “I can’t, sir! I cannot just take off the tax!”

Customer: “Then you aren’t price-matching!”

Me: “I don’t think you understand how price-matching works…”

Customer: “Can we get a manager up here?”

Me: “Absolutely. I will definitely call a manager for you!”

(I call the manager and he comes up to my register.)

Manager: “What’s up?”

Me: “This customer wants us to give him this item for this price through a price-match.”

Manager: “Okay…”

Me: “But he’s not understanding that he still has to pay tax on the item.”

Customer: “I’m not asking you to take off the tax; I just want you to give me the item for this price.”

Manager: “Yeah, that’s what we’re doing. See?” *shows the customer the screen*

Customer: “No, why is my total still what it was before?”

Manager: “Because you have to pay tax on the item.”

Customer: “Then you aren’t actually price-matching!”

Manager: “Yes, we are.”

Customer: “No, you’re not!”

Manager: “Okay.”

Customer: “This is terrible customer service! I’m gonna go home and buy it online!”

Manager: “Okay.”

Customer: “You guys are missing out on a sale!”

Manager: “Okay.”

(The customer left the store, and the manager and I both just shook our heads.)

 

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Won’t Quit Their Tub-Thumping  

, , , , | Right | September 24, 2019

(Working as a manager, one of the responsibilities I handle is ordering our ice cream from suppliers. Because of the cost, we have a less than half markup on whole tubs. Since it is so infrequent that entire tubs are requested for purchase, I handle all of those orders personally.)

Employee: “Hey, [My Name], someone wants a whole tub of ice cream, [flavor].”

Me: “Okay, you want to ring up these folks? This is their last cone.”

(We do our well-practiced tap-out to switch customers.)

Me: “Hello, ma’am, I was told you wanted to buy a tub of ice cream?”

Customer: “Yes, I want to order a tub of [flavor]; how much will that be?”

Me: “Well, luckily enough, we have enough extras in stock that we can get you a tub today, or I can—”

Customer: “No, I want you to order one in for me.”

Me: “Well, okay, the soonest it can be in would be—”

(I mentally check the dates, reviewing what my order will look like, and what we will get, and what I can add to the upcoming order.)

Me: “—this Tuesday.”

Customer: “That’s fine. How much will it be?”

Me: “It will be sixty dollars, taxes included, and you can pay at the main—”

Customer: *interrupting* “No, that’s wrong.”

Me: “Pardon?”

Customer: “No, it’s not sixty dollars for a tub of ice cream; I’m not stupid! I want you to order me in a tub of ice cream, so I can pay you what it costs.”

Me: “Ma’am?”

Customer: “Yes?”

Me: “We purchase our ice cream as a business, not for personal consumption. So, after our costs, the price is sixty dollars, with taxes included.”

Customer: “Don’t give me that bulls***. Get me your f****** manager so I can order my ice cream.”

Me: “Ma’am, I am the department head. I handle all of our ordering, including our ice cream orders. We make exceptions to sell whole tubs, but we buy our ice cream to sell it. So, one tub of [flavor] will cost sixty dollars, and you can make the purchase at the main cash.”

Customer: “No way does a tub of ice cream cost that much, you liar! This is no way to run a business!”

Me: “Ma’am, if we ran our business selling everything at cost, we wouldn’t remain a business for long. Would you like to order your tub of [flavor], or may I return to helping my customers?”

(Luckily, a family who had been waiting patiently caught her eye, the mother and father both glaring at her. Embarrassed, the customer left the parlor to go pay for and get a dated receipt for her order.)

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The Cold Hard Truth About Cold Hard Cash

, , , , , | Right | September 6, 2019

(My store only has two fully-functioning registers. Register #4 hasn’t worked in years, and register #1’s PIN pad very recently broke, so my cashiers are ringing people out on registers #2 and #3. There are signs all over register #1 saying it doesn’t work, but I’ve had to redirect quite a few customers to the correct registers multiple times. It’s a busy Saturday night. We’re slammed. With only two registers open, the lines are stretching about halfway down the store, and it’s gotten to the point where I see several customers drop their purchases and walk out. I decide to finally do something about the line and grab a cash drawer out of the safe. I print out several signs saying, “CASH ONLY,” in 72-pt font. I open register #1 and make an overhead announcement that the register is open only for cash transactions. Several people join my register, I cash them out, and things are finally moving. A woman with a fairly large order starts putting her items on my belt.)

Me: “Ma’am, this register is cash only. Are you paying with cash?”

Customer: “Yes.”

Me: *rings up her order* “Your total is $141.72.”

Customer: *hands me two $20s*

Me: “I’ll need about $100 more, please.”

Customer: “I’m paying the rest by card.”

Me: “I can’t do that, ma’am, since this register is cash only.” *gestures to the empty spot where our PIN pad was* “The PIN pad broke a few days ago and we’re waiting on a replacement.”

Customer: “Well, that’s very short-sighted of you. Why open a register if you can’t take cards?”

Me: “This register is still capable of taking cash, ma’am. If you can’t pay for your entire order in cash, then I’m going to ask you to please move to one of the other registers, where one of my cashiers can ring you out by card.”

Customer: “But those are long lines! This is very inconvenient!”

(The lines have shrunk considerably, and she shouldn’t have too long of a wait at either line.)

Me: “I can help you move your items to one of the other registers, if you like.”

Customer: “No! I’m not going anywhere! What kind of store expects people to pay with cash? It’s not my fault you aren’t with the 21st century!”

Me: “Ma’am, registers #2 and #3 are fully capable of taking debit or credit as payment. One of them can check you out. Now, please get out of my line so I can continue to check out customers who are fully paying with cash.”

Customer: *walking away* “This is awful customer service! I’m calling corporate about this!”

(She did. The complaint said I “wouldn’t let her pay by card” and that “customers should be warned about inconveniences like that so their precious time isn’t wasted.” You mean like the announcement I made, the giant “CASH ONLY” signs all over the register, and me telling her it was cash only at the start of the transaction?)

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The Wurst Moments in Bartending

, , , , , | Right | September 5, 2019

(I’m a young lady working as a bartender at a pub in the countryside, working a closing shift. A group of five young men walks in.)

Me: “Hello! What can I get for you this evening?”

Customer #1: “Hey, love, three pints of [drink] and a glass of ice, please! Put it on a tab and we’ll split the bill before we leave.”

(About four hours pass and these guys have had a few; they’re starting to stumble and they become noticeably intoxicated so I allow one last order. It’s getting late.)

Customer #2: “Another round, please! One pint of [drink] and six shots of your finest spirit!”

Me: “Sir, our finest and most expensive drink is valued at £24.60 a shot. Are you sure you want to order six? This will have to be the last order.”

Customer #2: “Yeah, yeah! Just shut up and give us the drinks!”

(I’m a little taken aback by the attitude but don’t take it personally. Before I pour the drinks, I inform the other customers about the price of their next drinks. They’re okay with it so I proceed. About fifteen minutes go by and I am starting to clean up, as it’s getting to midnight and we are closing.)

Customer #3: “Can we get the bill split, please? We didn’t realise the time!”

Me: “Of course! That is [amount] each, please.”

Customer #1: “F***! Did we really spend that much?!”

Me: “Yes, indeed, you did..”

(Four out of five customers pay; the fifth stays a little further back fumbling around in a small bag he is carrying. I ask him to come forward and confirm his total. He’s slurring his words but I can hear him.)

Customer #2: “Uh… sorry. I don’t seem to have my card on me and I don’t have any cash… Can I come back tomorrow and pay first thing?”

Me: “I’ll have to give my manager a call, as we don’t usually all—”

(I get cut off.)

Customer #2: “WAIT, NO! I have this!”

(The customer pulls out a few pepperoni sausage sticks and some half-eaten children’s crackers, and places them on the counter in front of me.)

Me: “…”

Customer #2: “Can you accept these, instead?!”

(I start to giggle, thinking it was a joke.)

Me: “I can’t tell if you’re having a laugh or not. I can’t accept that, as I’m sure you’re aware.”

Customer #2: “Well, that’s all I got. It’s that or nothing tonight, toots.”

Me: “Just a moment. I’ll give my manager a call and see what I can do.”

(My manager insists he pays now; the sum he has to pay isn’t as much as the others as it is the last transaction of the night. By this time, his friends have left to go home)

Me: “Sorry, sir, I am unable to wait until tomorrow as we cannot guarantee your return.”

Customer #2: “F*** you both! I’m not coming here anymore!” 

(He picks up his phone and calls his girlfriend who is outside waiting and quickly explains the situation. She comes in a few moments later. Bear in mind that it’s now way past closing time.)

Woman: “I’m so so sorry! Here is your money! Surprisingly enough, he’s done this before. I honestly don’t know why he carried around meat sticks and biscuits thinking he can bribe people with them… Thank you for being so patient!”

Me: “At least he can go home now. Thank you very much! Have a good night!”

(They headed towards the door. The young man was cursing his mouth off at his girlfriend and she just smiled and waved at me as they disappeared from sight.)

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Listen To The (In)Voice Of Reason

, , , , , | Right | September 3, 2019

(Part of my job is going to customers’ offices to have invoices countered. This particular run, my manager is heading to the banks near a customer, so he offers me a ride. Since I usually just take a minute, he waits in the car while I go into the office. This happens after I’ve submitted the invoice for countering.)

Customer: “Your invoice is wrong. I’m not signing it until you fix it.”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am. What’s the matter?”

Customer: “Your price for [product] is too high. We’ve never paid that much.”

Me: “Oh, I’m really sorry about that. I’ll take it back to the office and have it corrected.”

Customer: “No, don’t bother. Just change the price there and I’ll sign it.”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but I don’t have the authority to do that. Only one of the people who signed off on the invoice can correct it, and it’d need to be countersigned.”

Customer: “Okay, go. It’s your problem if this is late.”

(I take the invoice and go back to my waiting manager. When he asks me how it went, I tell him the customer refused the invoice because the price is wrong. He checks the price and says it is correct, and that he was the one who informed this particular customer that there was a price hike. He takes the invoice and tells me to come with him back to the customer.)

Manager: “Ma’am, my assistant here tells me you have a problem with the price. I have to tell you that this price is correct. We changed it last December, and I told you about it right away.”

Customer: “No, you didn’t. We’ve always paid [price] for [product].”

Manager: “You did until last December. Ma’am, this isn’t even the first invoice we’ve issued at this price. Your order last January was at this price, and you signed the invoice then.”

Customer: “No, I don’t think so. We’ve been ordering [product] from you at [price] for years.”

Manager: “Yes, ma’am, you have. That’s why I informed you of the price increase last December and asked if it was okay.”

Customer: “I never heard about a price increase.”

Manager: “Ma’am, I can show you our text exchange on my phone. If you have a minute, I can even call the office and get them to send me a picture of the last invoice, which you countersigned. The price is correct.”

(My manager and the customer get into an argument because the customer refuses to accept that she was informed of the price increase. When my manager shows her the text exchange in which she was informed of the new price and even confirmed it, she insists she be given the old price for just this order, insisting her loyalty means they deserve a discount. My manager stands his ground, giving all the reasons the price went up and even insisting that the customer’s loyalty is the only reason it didn’t go up more. She finally decides that if that’s the case, she doesn’t want the goods anymore and demands we take them back, which we cannot do because the goods are at their warehouse, not office, and we would have to schedule the delivery team to do it. The whole thing would also require approval from the sales director, who probably wouldn’t give it because of the size of the order. She finally angrily signs the invoice, but of course, has to give the classic:)

Customer: “Just so you know, we’re not ordering from you again. This is absolutely ridiculous.”

Manager: *smiles acidly* “Ma’am, given how small your orders are, I really don’t care. We’ll be back for your last check, then.”

Customer: “I’m not paying!”

Manager: “Then our lawyers will be in touch.”

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