Will Not Be Host To Your Charges

, , , , | Right | November 17, 2017

(I work at a bowling alley, hosting children’s birthday parties. The parents of this party have come up to pay, and are separating the party package into each part, rather than buying the full package.)

Cashier: “The total cost of your party, including the shoe hire, one game of bowling, five tokens per guest, and party host comes to [total].”

Mum: “What was that last part?”

Cashier: The party host, [My Name], is part of the package. They help organise the party, and part of each package goes towards their pay.”

Mum: *grumbles but pays, but later returns to her husband and explains the payment* “And we had to pay for the party host, too!”

Dad: “Why would we pay for her?”

(The kicker? A party host costs $10 out of a $200+ package. Parents, if you would like to take care of your kids for $10, please, be my guest.)

Their Math Training Is Cheap

, , , , , , | Working | November 13, 2017

(I decide to stop by a fast food place because I have a buy-one-get-one-free coupon for a popular burger. I drive up to the window and place my order.)

Cashier: “Oh, that’s on special right now, two for $3. Did you want two?”

Me: “Uh… Yes, I have a coupon to buy one, get one free.”

(She repeats my order back and tells me my total is $3.21. I’m a little confused, so when I get to the window I ask why it’s so much because the burger itself is $1.99.)

Cashier: “Oh, it’s because it’s buy two for $3, and then tax.”

Me: “But I have the BOGO coupon…”Cas

Cashier: “Oh, this way is a better deal, so you can save your coupon for when they aren’t on sale. It’s cheaper with the sale than with the coupon.”

(I tried to explain the math to her but she didn’t understand, and kept reiterating that her way was cheaper. Finally, frustrated beyond reason, I asked her to ring it up using the coupon and tell me which was cheaper. She seemed honestly shocked that $2.14 was less than $3.21. She rang it up correctly and handed me my food, and as I was about to pull away I heard her telling her coworkers that they were wrong all those times they told people it was cheaper.)

Dad Will Never Change

, , , , , , , , | Related | November 10, 2017

I went out to dinner with my mom and dad after we all had a bad day. I can’t remember the details, but my mom was reasonably angry with my dad, and he was tuning her out.

We got seated and ordered our food at a Chinese place that serves one big pot of soup for the table before the dishes come. As they brought it out, the woman spilled the dark and oily soup on my mom, who was wearing white.

My dad waved the waitress away mid-apology while my mom went to clean herself up, but she had no luck with the stains. She said she’d deal with it until we got home; however, all the food came out extremely slowly. Even when all the food came, my dad ate excruciatingly slowly because he likes to “savor” his food. My mom was about to explode, so she put some money down for the dinner and left before another argument ensued.

One thing about my family: my mom is in charge of all our finances because my dad cannot be trusted. And that was never more evident than when we paid the bill. I left first to find my mom, and my dad paid with the money she gave him, and left all of the change.

Our dinner was maybe 40 to 50 dollars. My mom gave him a hundred.

When we found this out, we asked him why in the world he thought that was okay. His response was that it’s my mom’s fault for not saying what to do, and she had “wasted her breath” while arguing with him, while she should have been explaining how to pay the bill.

Friendship Comes With Safety Padding

, , , , , , , | Friendly | November 9, 2017

(After lunch one of my friends comes running up to me and pulls me off to the bathroom. She looks worried, so I ask what’s wrong.)

Friend: *embarrassed* “Well, I started my period today and I don’t have any pads! I had some in my purse but my sister must have stolen them!”

Me: *relieved* “Oh, okay. I’ve got some in my purse.”

(I pull one out and hand it to her. She takes it and dashes into a stall. When she comes back out, she still looks worried.)

Me: “What’s wrong, [Friend]? It must be more than your period.”

Friend: *suddenly blurts* “I’m out of pads at home!”

Me: “Why don’t you tell your mom? I’m sure she’ll buy them for you.”

Friend: *shaking her head* “No, she won’t!”

Me: *stunned* “What?! Why not?!”

Friend: “Well, [Friend’s Sister] and I get an allowance of $20 every month for our ‘essentials,’ like toothpaste, feminine products, razors, deodorant… you get the idea. Our mom got the idea to do it to teach us how to budget.” *sighs* “Problem is, the cost of stuff has gone up since my mom started doing this, and she hasn’t increased our allowance, so it’s not enough any more. Usually my sister and I run out of something or other and have to do without until we get our allowance again.”

Me: “That’s terrible!” *I pull the other half dozen pads out of my purse and give them to her* “Stick those in your purse.” *pause* “Can you use scented pads?”

Friend: *frowns* “Yeah, why?”

Me: *smiling* “Good! I’ll bring you a whole box of them tomorrow!”

Friend: “You don’t—”

Me: *holding up one hand to silence her* “Yes, I do. Besides, I grabbed them by mistake a couple months ago, and I can’t use them because the scent makes my butt break out in a rash.”

(My friend bursts into tears and laughter at the same time.)

Friend: *sniffling* “I’m sorry! I’m just so happy you’re going to bring me pads, but at the same time, that butt rash story was TMI!” *giggles*

(That wasn’t the last time I had to bring pads to that friend. I used to sneak them to her when I’d stay the weekend, because if her mom saw me giving them to her, she lectured me, saying her daughter “needed to learn better money management.”)

This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 68

, , , | Right | November 8, 2017

(I work in a farm store that also sells lawn equipment. We offer financing, and I oversee that department. One day a young man and his wife come in and express interest in financing a new zero-turn mower. I ask for identification and a secondary form of ID and get started entering the application into my computer. When I finish, I hit print so the customer can sign the paper copy, and then hit submit. By the time I return from the printer, I see that the application has been denied. I convey this to the customer.)

Customer: “What? There’s no way! I have excellent credit!”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir; I’m not allowed to know why the application has been denied.” *I turn the computer screen to face the customer* “It only displays a denial, not the reason for the decline. The lender will send you something official in writing within a few days. This isn’t the end of the road, however; we can still accept cash or check, or you may wish to apply for a loan through your bank.”

Customer: “This is bulls***! My credit score is in the 800s and I’ve never made a late payment! All my stuff is paid off, even! Call your boss and push this through, now!”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir; even if I did call the manager over, he has no authority to override the decision of a bank that is not connected to our store. Although you’re filling out the application here, the ultimate decision goes through a separate lender.”

Customer: “Well, get on the phone and call the lender, then. Get this straightened out! I don’t have bad credit! I don’t have bad credit! There has to be some simple reason why I was declined. You probably didn’t enter my information correctly!”

Me: *double-checking his ID against what I entered* “I keyed everything in correctly.” *shows the customer a copy, which he barely scans through* “I’d be happy to call the lender for you, however.”

(I dial the lender, go through the prompts, and get a customer service representative on the phone. I explain the situation, and although the exact reasons for the decline are between the customer and the bank, the rep hints that it’s a debt to income issue. I hang up the phone.)

Customer: *incredulously* “Well, did that settle it? I can get the mower, right?”

Me: “Sir, by any chance have you financed anything else recently?”

Customer: “Well… yeah. Let me see… I got a new truck three weeks ago to pull our new boat, we just closed on our house Friday, my wife got a new washer and dryer, and she got a different car maybe a month ago? Why? What difference does that make?”

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