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A Little White Fry

, , , , , | Right | January 11, 2023

I work in a small family-owned restaurant. The prices are reasonable as long as you don’t do too many substitutions or add-ons. Chips are included with every meal but the upcharge for fries or a salad instead is $3-4.

An older gentleman comes to order take-out and he’s on the phone with whom I assume is his wife. He orders both their meals and is giving me his complete attention, so I’m not annoyed by the phone call because it isn’t busy and he just wants to make sure her order is correct.

I ask about the sides. He has me repeat the options so he can relay them to his wife.

Customer: On the phone. “Don’t worry about the cost; I’ll get you whatever side you’d like. Do you want the fries?” *To me, after a pause.* “How much for the sweet potato fries?”

Me: “$3.”

Customer: On the phone. “They’re $1.” *Gives me a knowing look.*

I put in the sweet potato fries and finished the transaction. When his order was up he gave me a fist bump and wished me well. I told all my coworkers about the gentleman’s white lie and how nice it was that he wanted to get her what she wanted.

Moaning About The Event Will Eventually Get You

, , , , , , , | Right | January 10, 2023

We do planning for big events like weddings, conventions, etc. I receive a call from a client who has just been sent an itemized bill for a large wedding.

Client: “You’ve f****** overbilled me! I’m not paying this much!”

After she has called me every bad word in the English language, I am able to look up her bill. After going through it with her:

Me: “Actually, ma’am, I think I have found the mistake.”

Client: “I knew it! I’m gonna call your manager and—”

Me: “It looks like we underbilled you by $1,000. It seems there was a misplaced zero. I am terribly sorry this happened, and I can understand why you were so upset. I’ll just go through this bill one more time to ensure we haven’t underbilled you for any other items.

The silence on the other end of the line was so beautiful.

Tipped To Be Racist

, , , , | Right | January 10, 2023

A couple comes into the store and buys some items.

Female Customer: *To the male customer.* “No, don’t get that brand. The Mexicans buy those ones, so they must be gross.”

She catches my eye as she says this. I am clearly Hispanic.

Female Customer: “You one of them illegals?”

Me: “I was born in Texas, ma’am.”

Female Customer: “Ah, so your parents snuck you across before you were born, huh? They should change the law so they can’t allow that.”

Me: “Not that it’s any of your business but my mother was also born in the US, and her parents were from Venezuela.”

Male Customer: “Drug runners then, ha!”

Me: *Trying to hurry it along, gesturing at their items.* “Is this everything?”

They make their purchase, and it comes to $19.89. The customer hands me $100.

Male Customer: “Keep the change, you might need it for when you need to bail an uncle out of jail, ha!”

They head off, leaving me both confused at the large ‘tip’ combined with their awful racism. It all makes sense two hours later when I see him come back in.

Male Customer: “I… uh… was here earlier.”

Me: “Yes, sir, I remember.”

Male Customer: “I thought I had paid with a twenty, but I… I think I paid with a hundred.”

Me: “Yes, sir, I remember. You told me to keep the change.”

Male Customer: “Well… uh… that was a mistake. Can I have my change back?”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but I just came back from my lunch and in that time, I donated your generous tip towards a charity that helps lawyers who help migrants trying to stay in the US.”

Male Customer: “What! I… uh…”

Me: “Your donation was greatly appreciated, sir! If you feel that you would like to take this matter further, please write to our Corporate HQ.”

The customer looked angry but stormed out. My revenge was petty, but oh so worth it. I (or my manager) never heard from Corporate.

Pay Your Designers Or They Will Get Creative

, , , , , | Right | January 10, 2023

A client approaches me to design an ad they want to put online for their business. They know absolutely nothing about technology, computers, and just enough about the internet to create a storefront. As a result, I go above and beyond to help explain things to them, taking a lot longer than I would with other clients, but I like to do good by them, so it wasn’t a problem.

We design the advertisement as requested, and I send it out on their social media networks and other avenues.

I send an invoice for my fee and I wait. And wait. And wait some more.

Me: *Contacting them.* “Hi, just a reminder that my invoice is a few weeks overdue. When can I expect payment?”

Client: “You’ll be paid when the ad performs well enough?”

Me: “What do you mean? I can see from my metrics that your ad-reach is quite high.”

Client: “But sales aren’t up enough!”

Me: “Be that as it may, you asked me to design an ad to your specifications, and I did. I need to be paid.”

Client: “So rude! You’ll be paid when you’ve earned it!”

The client then hung up, and didn’t answer my calls, or emails, and blocked me on social media connections.

The amount wasn’t enough to try the legal option, even a small-claims court, as the fees alone would be more than I was due.

However, later on I did realize I still had access to the ads I had designed, and it was a simple matter to make a few slight changes.

The next day I get a call from the client.

Client: “You f****** a**hole! You changed the ad!”

Me: “You don’t have an ad, since you didn’t pay for one. I’m just using the ad-space I already paid for for my own ads.”

Client: “Your ads are saying I don’t pay my employees and I am a fraud!”

Me: “Well… you didn’t pay me, so…”

Client: “Take it down!”

Me: “Pay me.”

Client: “Take it down and I will pay you!”

Me: “No. Payment first, then I’ll take it down.”

Client: “I can’t pay you right now!”

Me: “The ad stays up until I am paid.”

The client screams and hangs up. The next day:

Client: “Take it down! You changed the ad again! All my customers think everything is 50% off!”

Me: “Oh, is that what I put in the ad? I forget.”

Client: “This is defamation! I could sue you for lying about my business!”

Me: “Maybe, but I also have the matter of an unpaid bill from you, as written in our contract.”

Client: “Defamation has a larger fine than an unpaid bill!”

Me: “Yes, but you know what has the smallest bill of them all? My invoice.”

Client: “Take it down!”

Me: “Also, if you can’t scrounge together the money to pay my invoice (less than $100) then how can you pay for a lawyer?”

Client: “Take it down and I will pay you tomorrow!”

Me: “Tomorrow the ad might say something about how your company is out of business and to encourage all your customers to visit [competitor] instead.”

I was paid within the hour.

Couldn’t Look Past(or) This Ridiculous Ask

, , , , , , , , | Romantic | January 9, 2023

The pastor of our church asked my husband and me if we would consider refinancing our home. Why? He felt it would be beneficial for us to “donate” the equity to the church to help build a new facility with a basketball court. It was the pastor’s “dream basketball court”, but he promised up and down that it would be for the church’s youth. He ended up convincing several families to donate their home equity toward his— I mean, the church’s project.

I flat-out refused. My husband was furious with me for refusing, and we had several escalating arguments over it. Coupled with pressure from the pastor, including a list of people who had already donated and several quotes from the Bible, it very quickly grew to a head.

I turned on my husband and told him he could keep the church in the divorce, but I was going to sell him our house and give him his half to do whatever the h*** he pleased with it. I made it completely clear that there was no way I was going to put my half of the divorce settlement toward this “project”.

In the end, everyone lost their money, and the building was never built. We have no idea where the pastor is to this day; he just disappeared shortly after enough money was donated.

I put the money down on a new home, and I’m very happy with my single life.