A customer is buying a shirt and is shocked at the price on the register.

Customer: “Why is the total more than what it says on the price tag?”

Me: “That’s the price with tax not included.”

Customer: “That’s ridiculous! Why do I have to pay tax?”

Me: “…Because everyone has to. Government regulations.”

Customer: “Well then, if I have to pay tax, I want a 10% discount.”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, we currently do not have any sales in the store right now; I can’t give you a discount.”

Customer: “How can you justify making me pay tax and not give me a discount!?”

Me: “No one is making you pay tax, as you don’t have to buy the shirt.”

Customer: “So the government says pay tax or go topless?!”

Me: “If that’s how you want to interpret it, sure.”

She storms off without buying anything, but stays by the exit, ranting that our store was asking customers to remove their clothing to avoid paying tax. I had to explain to my manager how many mental hoops the customer had jumped through to get to that conclusion, before she politely asked the customer to leave.

Manager: “If it were that simple, I’d be in my birthday suit all day to save me some tax money!”

It is the day before Easter Sunday. A woman is browsing our selection of chocolate easter eggs.

Customer: “Are any of these going to be discounted today?”

Me: “No, madam. The easter eggs are usually discounted on the Monday after Easter Sunday, or sometimes even Tuesday, as Monday is still a Bank Holiday.”

Customer: “It’s just, I want some for my sister’s kids, but they’re all still so expensive.”

Me: “We have some small [Store Brand] options for £2.”

Customer: “I know, but I don’t want it to look like I got something cheap.”

Me: “How old are the children?”

Customer: “Three and five.”

Me: “Look, I understand things are expensive these days, but these £2 eggs are perfect for your target audience. Do they taste like plastic? Yes. Do the kids care? No, they’d eat human flesh if the sugar content was high enough, so I wouldn’t worry if I were you.”

Customer: *Looking a bit relieved.* “You know what, you’re right. It’s for the kids, not the judgey adults.”

She grabbed two of the cheaper eggs and thanked me. She was back again on Tuesday, when some of the £5 and £6 eggs had been discounted to £2 and £3. I saw her getting some.

Customer: “Oh! Hello again! Thanks for talking sense the other day. The kids still loved the eggs.”

Me: “Glad to hear it! Are you getting them some more?”

Customer: “H*** no! These ones are for me!”

A colleague is tutting loudly and making annoyed sounds at her desk. This means she wants someone to ask her:

Me: “Everything alright, [Colleague]?”

Colleague: “[Store] has this thing I want that I saw on their Facebook. I went there to buy it on my lunch break, but they told me that it was an online-only item!”

Me: “So… buy it online?”

Colleague: “No! I don’t trust online shopping. They’ll steal my credit card information!”

Me: “That stuff is all quite secure. If anything went wrong, you could call your bank, and they’d help you sort it out.”

Colleague: “I don’t want to put my credit card online.”

Me: “Well, I don’t know what to tell you then. If they say it’s only online, you need to buy it online.”

Colleague: “I’ll call them.”

She sits at her desk and calls that store’s help number. After she gets an agent and explains her problem, it sounds like the store agent can help her order her item over the phone.

Colleague: *Loud and clear, in an open office.* “Okay, so my card number is Four, Four, Seven…”

Same volume for the expiry date, the CVV, and her address registered to her card.

I used to work at a super small pumpkin stand that sells pumpkins for a dollar each.

Customer: “If I buy a pumpkin, can you give me change for a hundred?”

Me: “I don’t even make that much in a day.”

Customer: “Ugh! You should charge more per pumpkin then! [Chain Grocery Store] sells them for seven!”

The owner planted them for cheap. A lot of the people around here are pretty poor, so he tries to sell them to the less fortunate people. Stores hike the prices up because they know they can get away with it.

It’s near the end of the day, and I just so happen to have $79 in change.

Me: “I could… uh… sell you three pumpkins for $7 each, and break that hundred for you?”

Customer: “Finally! Showing some problem-solving skills!”

The man walks away with three pumpkins and all of my change with the confident gait of someone who thinks they just won…

A customer comes up to purchase some shorts. I ring them up for him.

Me: “That’s $40.”

Customer: “That’s not right! The sign says $25.”

I call someone else over to check.

Me: “Sir, my coworker confirms that the sign says $25 for the shirts, not the shorts.”

Customer: “Well, it’s only one letter difference. You should give them to me for the shirt price.”

Me: “How about I sell them for $45?”

Customer: “What?! Why?”

Me: “It’s only one number difference.”

The customer grumbled and paid $40. I was surprised I got away with that!