Customer: “Yes, I’m calling to complain. Your store has false advertising. You say you have the cheapest [item] prices in town, and I just came from a store that is selling them cheaper.”

Me: “Really? Well let me call, and you can call back in five minutes, okay?”

(I call the store and soon she calls back.)

Customer: “Well?”

Me: “You are correct, We sell for $5.00 and they’re selling for $4.81.”

Customer: “Like I said, false advertisement. I could sue.”

Me: “It’s a $0.19 difference.”

Customer: “With four of those, that would be a dollar!”

Me: “Correction, that would be $0.76. Would you like to sue me for that complete bill or should be round it up to a whole dollar?”

Customer: “I will never shop with you again!”

Me: “There will never be a need.”

(Customer approaches cash desk with two t-shirts with a price tag of $14.99 each. I scan the t-shirts.)

Me: “Oh, they scan at $7.99 each.”

Customer: “The sign on the table where I found them says that they’re 2 for $20.00.”

Me: “I know, but they scan at $7.99.”

Customer: “…but the sign says 2 for $20.00.”

Me: “I know, but head office must have changed the sale and updated the computer before we had a chance to change the sign. So you can buy the shirts for $7.99 each.”

Customer: “I don’t care what price comes up in the computer. The sign says 2 for $20.00 so you have to sell them to me at that price!”

Me: “Okay.”

(I override the $7.99 price in the computer and change it to $10.00. The customer pays two dollars more per shirt than he has to and smugly goes on his way.)

Me: “…ma’am, I’m sorry, but unless you had insurance during that time, you will have to pay for the insurance we purchased for you.”

Customer: “I don’t understand why you people are demanding we PAY for this s***! And the electric company wants money, too! How am I supposed to take care of my babies when all of you are demanding money for stuff?! WHAT ABOUT THE BABIES?”

*customer hands over a tree skirt for her Christmas tree*

Customer: “That’s all! And I have a coupon…”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but it appears that the tree skirt is already on sale, so you can’t use the coupon.”

Customer: “Really? It doesn’t say anywhere that it’s on sale.”

Me: “Well, the ad that the coupon comes in also says that ‘All Christmas decorations’ are on sale for 30% off. Your coupon is for 40% off, so its not that big of a difference. It says on the coupon that you cannot use it on sale items…”

Customer: “Can’t you just give me the regular price and discount it with the coupon?”

Me: “Ma’am, you’re only losing out on… six dollars. I really don’t want to lose my job over your six dollars.”

Customer: “I BELIEVE I’M BEING CHEATED! I’M NEVER SHOPPING AT THIS ESTABLISHMENT AGAIN!”

(The customer came back two hours later to buy the exact same tree skirt.)

This story is part of the Christmas Eve roundup!

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Read the Christmas Eve roundup!

Customer #1: “Two for American Gangster. We have two free passes.”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but that movie just opened today and it isn’t currently accepting passes. To use these I’ll have to charge you $1.50 upgrade per ticket.”

Customer #1: “That’s ridiculous. It doesn’t say that anywhere on it.”

Me: *pointing to where it says that* “I’m sorry, sir, but it does. I’ll have to charge you the $3.”

Customer #2: “But we came early so we knew you wouldn’t sell out! Why can’t you just give it to us?”

Me: “I’m sorry but its a corporate policy. I cannot give anyone a free pass to this movie, not even employees. It’s not even an option on the computer.”

Customer #1: *mumbles under his breath while he reaches for his wallet*

Customer #2: “We shouldn’t have to pay $3 to see the movie! If there’s more than 25 people in there I’m going to report you to a manager!”