(My friends and I go to a mall to celebrate my birthday. I decide to buy a lotion.)
Clerk: “Your total is $5.36.”
Me: *gives a five-dollar bill* “Here is a five, and I’ll get out some coins.” *gives a quarter* “Here you go.”
(The clerk just stares at me.)
Clerk: “Its $5.36, not $5.25.”
Me: *gives a dime* “Whoops! Sorry.”
(The clerk continues to stare at me more intensely.)
Me: “Oh! I need to give you a penny. I can’t math; it’s a Friday.”
(We have signs on our registers saying, “NO CHECKS.” The customer’s total comes to under $10. He has three cards come back declined, including a check card.)
Customer: “Can I write you a check?”
Me: “I’m sorry, but we do not accept checks here; credit or cash only.”
Customer: “Who doesn’t take checks anymore? It’s not even $10.”
Me: *points to sign* “It is our store policy; we do not accept checks.”
Customer: “You can’t make an exception? I shop here all the time!”
Me: *I’ve never seen him before* “Sir, even if I was allowed to make an exception, would you really give us a check knowing that your check card has been declined?”
Customer: *long pause, then walks out*
(I am a third key manager at a national dollar store chain and it is pretty much the only store in the area. For a few weeks, we haven’t been receiving $1 toilet paper on our truck shipments. An older woman asks me to help her find the cheapest toilet paper left.)
Me: “Right now, this is the cheapest we have.” *holds up a pack of $2 toilet paper*
Customer: “Two dollars?!”
Me: “I apologize. We just haven’t gotten any more in for a while.”
Customer: *glares at me* “Whatever. Just show me where you all have napkins.”
(I lead her to the napkins, and then go up to the register so I can send the cashier on break. A few minutes later, the customer appears at my register.)
Customer: “Look at this! You all are robbing the poor blind! Two dollars for toilet paper is absolutely ridiculous! Who would pay that?! Look what I have to use!” *holds up the napkins* “I hope you all go out of business!”
(She pays with change, though she has a $5 bill in her hands. She continues ranting at me, saying it’s all my fault. I just stay silent, as I’m not sure what I’m supposed to say. She then storms out the door and I wish her a good day. I then watch her walk across the street to the drive-thru tobacco shop.)
Me: “I hope her toilet clogs up.”
This story is part of the Toilet Paper roundup!
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(A customer comes up to the counter with two clearance items, which are on special — buy one, get one half-off — which is clearly signed.)
Me: “Your total is $13.23.”
Customer: *confused* “This isn’t half-off?”
Me: “No, ma’am. The sale is buy one, get one half-off.”
Customer: “Okay. I’ll put [more expensive one] back, then.”
Me: “Okay. Your new total is $5.29.”
Customer: “I thought this was half-off.”
Me: “The sale is buy one, get one half-off.”
Customer: *looks at sign* “Oh, I guess I need to learn to read.” *hands me seven ones to pay*
Me: *internally* “Need to learn to count, too.”
(My store is running a sale, and we sent out an ad for it. A faucet that is normally $150.00 is on sale for $75.00. We have sold a ton in the past few days without a problem.)
Customer: “I want two of those sale faucets from the ad!”
Me: “Wonderful, let me run and get those for you, and I’ll be right back!”
(I run and get them from the storage room and return.)
Me: “Great, your total is $160.88 with tax.”
Customer: “No. I’m only paying $150.00 for both. Change your prices so I can swipe my card.”
Me: “Sorry, I can’t do that. The faucets are $75.00 each, and with tax, that is $160.88.”
Customer: “I already said no! Set the price to the sales price.”
Me: “I rang you up at the sale price, ma’am. The additional charge is just state tax, and I have no control over that.”
Customer: “Stop trying to scam your customers. If you don’t sell them to me at $150.00, I will sue you for false advertising!” *she shows me her phone* “When I put in the prices, it shows as $150.00 on my phone. So, that is what I will pay!”
Me: “That’s because you did not add in tax, ma’am, and our advertisement does mention that tax will apply. It is state tax.”
Customer: “I will sue! Change the price”
Me: “Ma’am, this is state tax. The faucets are already 50% off. There is nothing I can do about the sale price, the state tax, or the final price.”
Customer: “What is the price for just one faucet?”
Me: “With tax, $80.44.”
Customer: *doing the math on her phone* “Liar! Look! My phone says it would be $80.43.”
Me: “The computer automatically rounds up to the nearest cent, ma’am. It would be $88.437.”
Customer: “No, you just want to overcharge me!”
Me: “By tenths of a cent? Do you have a tenth-of-a-cent coin?”
(The customer behind her starts laughing, which makes her angry. She storms out, still threatening to sue.)
Next Customer: “I’ll take those faucets. Feel free to charge me tax.”
Related:
A Very Taxing Explanation
