Now You’re Just Being Cilly

, , , , , | Healthy | February 25, 2018

(I have gone to see my new doctor because I have pneumonia.)

Doctor: *after looking at my xrays* “Yeah, that’s pneumonia. I’m going to prescribe you amoxicillin.”

Me: “I’m allergic to the penicillin family. Isn’t that in my chart?”

Doctor: “Yeah, it is… How allergic exactly are you?”

Me: “Allergic enough that I don’t want to risk it?”

Doctor: “I’m just trying to save you money! The other one I can give you is really expensive.”

Me: “More expensive than a hospital stay because of an allergic reaction?”

Doctor: “I’m just trying to save you money. No need to get defensive!”

Me: “I just want to go home and back to bed; just give me my prescription and let me worry about the costs!”

(She grudgingly gave me my prescription, muttering the entire time about how she was just trying to save me money and how ungrateful I was. The non-penicillin medication cost me $15.)

No Refunds, No Discrepancy, No Clue

, , , , , | Working | February 22, 2018

(A sale was put through as cash accidentally yesterday, resulting in the register being -£100. To correct it I have refunded the sale so the register for today will be +£100 and total out at zero across the two days. A coworker has been using the register and waits silently while I refund the sale.)

Coworker: “So, what does this do?”

Me: “Technically, I’m removing £100 to the expected total for the day, so the register will be £100 up when I cash the float tomorrow. It will cancel out the -£100 that was found yesterday, so the discrepancies for the week will be zero.”

Coworker: “Wait, so, a £200 discrepancy? I’m not getting blamed for that!”

(He tries to push me out of the way, but the receipt is already printing.)

Me: “What are you doing?”

Coworker: “I got pulled for £5 last month. Who knows what will happen with £200! Fix it!”

Me: “That’s what I’ve been doing.”

Coworker: “No, you’re taking money out of my drawer. That’s not allowed. I’m telling!”

(He runs off and I finish what I need to. As I’m heading back to the office, he and the store manager stop me.)

Manager: “[My Name], [Coworker] said he saw you stealing from the register?”

Me: “No, I was fixing that cash sale from yesterday.”

(She accepted my answer but our coworker didn’t, and he demanded that the register be counted. The manager tried to explain, in very basic terms — ones and twos — what I had done, but he didn’t accept it. She ended up just leaving him while he demanded, in writing, confirmation that he would not be blamed when the register came up with a discrepancy. Lo and behold, the next day came and went with no one being pulled for stealing £100. This didn’t end here, though, as [Coworker] ended up calling HR, prompting a senior manager to audit our process. He didn’t find anything amiss and ended up advising we do training to resolve the confusion. We did, and [Coworker] still didn’t understand. I hear that whenever someone refunds his register, he calls HR again. They know him by name now.)

You Can’t Squeeze Two Years Into One

, , , , | Right | February 16, 2018

(I work in a high-end gift shop near a popular tourist destination. A woman walks up to me holding two calendars and a £20 note.)

Customer: “What kind of discount do I get for buying more than one of something?”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am. We don’t have any multi-buy discounts.”

Customer: “Hmph. Well, these calendars are £10.99. I have £20.”

(She looks at me expectantly.)

Me: “Okay.”

Customer: “How many can I buy?”

Me: “I’m not sure what you’re asking me. You may buy as many calendars as you like. But two calendars would cost £21.98. If you only have £20, you can only buy one calendar.”

Customer: *stares blankly*

Me: “So, let’s ring that up for you!”

(I lead the customer over to the tills, where she handed me both calendars and the £20 note. She looked quite disgruntled that I placed one calendar behind the counter and scanned the other, but she said nothing. When I handed her change to her, she pulled out a wallet positively stuffed with money. So much for not having the extra £1.98!)

Ripping Through The Economy

, , , , , , , | Right | February 15, 2018

(I am getting a customer her change. One of the dollar bills I hand her has a small rip in the corner, but I don’t think it’s a big deal. I give her the money, and she just stares at it.)

Me: “Is something wrong?”

Customer: “Does this have a rip in it?”

Me: “Uh… I think it had a small tear–“

Customer: “Oh, no. I can’t accept that. [Store] makes so much money. They can stand to have some ripped up dollars; I can’t. [Store] just makes so much money.”

Me: “Would you like me to get you a different dollar?”

Customer: “Yes. [Store] makes a lot of money. They can keep this one.”

Unwilling To Change Until The Last Minute

, , , , | Right | February 15, 2018

(Our prints and copies cost $.05 for black and white and $.40 for color.)

Me: “Your total is $2.51.”

(The customer hands me $20.51, with a twenty dollar bill.)

Me: “Do you, by chance, have anything smaller?”

Customer: *with an annoyed look on his face* “No.”

Me: “Okay.”

(I give him his $18.00 change in single bills because that is all we have in the register.)

Customer: “Can you not give me a $10 bill?”

Me: “No, I can’t. Because of our prices, most people tend to pay with $1 bills.”

Customer: “Well, can I get that $20 back and pay with a $5?” *holding out a $5 bill to me*

Me: “No, because I asked you that in the first place.”

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