That Will Knock You For Six

, , , , , , | Friendly | November 27, 2018

(I am sitting in the lobby of the state university I attend when I overhear this conversation:)

Man: “I have so much debt. I don’t know what I’m going to do. My students loans are going to kill me.”

Woman: “Why don’t you transfer to [Nearby Private University that is four times more expensive]?

Man: “I’ll look into it. I have to figure out what I’m going to do about this. I have my mortgage, my student loans, and a bunch of credit card debt. I only make six figures a year.”

(ONLY six figures?!)

Don’t Let Bad Customers Know They Can Be Paid To Leave

, , , | Right | November 23, 2018

(I am working as manager on duty, not the store manager. I have some authority to override company policy, but not total. A customer comes in to return a product she bought yesterday, with a check. Our LP rules do not allow a cash return on checks, for ten days. Our system is set up so we cannot override this, but we can give store credit, if it isn’t a huge amount. The return is for $2.50.)

Me: “I am sorry; we are not allowed to do a cash return for ten days, but I can give you store credit today.”

Customer: “Oh, my God! I have money in my account; why can’t I just return this for cash? I have never bounced a check. That is the stupidest policy I have ever heard. You must be lying!”

(She is getting louder with every word. Other customers are watching.)

Me: “I am sorry, but our system just won’t let us do that. I will be able to give you store credit.”

(I am getting flustered, as she is actually getting a little aggressive and threatening. We go though the same dialogue again as I try to make her understand. The customer turns to the other people waiting in line:)

Customer: “Can you believe this? They can’t do anything? They won’t give me back my money?” *and on and on*

Me: “Excuse me for a moment.”

(I go back to my locker, get cash out of my own purse, and take it back to her. I hand her the money.)

Customer: “See? How hard was that?”

(I don’t think it even registered with her that I gave her my own cash, just to shut her up. I just wanted her to go. It was well worth $2.50.)

Driving Them To Smoke

, , , , | Right | November 20, 2018

(Prices for all our cigarettes have recently gone up, averaging about eighty cents a carton. Of course we had signs posted for a few weeks before it went into effect. In my gas station, we also have a food area where I am currently scheduled to work. I decide to cut through the front area to get some things quicker.)

Customer: “I need two packs of cigarettes. What are your cheapest brands?”

Me: “It’s [Brand]. I think with the new tax it’s [price].”

Customer: *huffy* “Well, I only have twelve dollars! And I need two packs and some gas!”

Me: “Would you like to pump your gas first, then? If you don’t have enough, maybe you’ve got some quarters hanging around.”

Customer: “No! I need two packs of cigarettes! Your prices are too high! You need to fix this!”

Me: “Ma’am, I’m sorry, but we can’t change the prices.”

Customer: “You have to do something to fix this! I need my smokes!”

(I always thought enough gas to get going was more important than smoking, but apparently not.)

A Resolution Is Off The Menu

, , , , | Right | November 19, 2018

(I work in a Mexican restaurant, and a couple of months ago our prices increased, leaving many of our customers angry. One evening, while I am working as a cashier, a customer calls in to order food to go. I take down her order, which involves about three orders of cheese dip, three dinners, two extra bags of chips, and some other things.)

Me: “All right, it should be ready in about 15 minutes!”

Customer: “Thanks, I’ll be there in ten! I’m at [Restaurant right down the road].”

(Five minutes later, a young boy walks in for the to-go order. Because people always send others for their food, I think nothing of it and proceed to charge him out.)

Me: *finishing adding up the bill* “All right, sir, it is going to be $50.43.”

(The boy proceeds to look at me and at the register before handing me his card.)

Me: “Thank you! Now your order is finished, but I need to go back to bag it up. I will be right back!”

(He smiles and nods and I go back into the kitchen. I bag up his order quickly and walk back to him. He says nothing, and takes the bag and leaves. About four hours later, my manager comes up to me with a phone and an annoyed expression. He wordlessly hands the phone over to me.)

Me: “Hello?”

Customer: “Hi, yeah, I was charged $20 extra on an order you took earlier.”

Me: “Oh, of course! I remember! Let me find the check.”

(I find it and look through it for about a minute.)

Me: “I can’t find any mistakes… Do you mind telling me what you ordered again? To make sure?”

Customer: *sighs* “Sure, it was…” *tells me her order*

Me: “I see. Well, everything you told me is marked, and it is priced correctly. Let me add it up on the register to make sure.”

(I add up the check. Twice.)

Me: “Well, ma’am, everything is okay with this order. I can’t find anything that is wrong.”

Customer: *getting angry* “No, it is wrong! Your menu says that your cheese dip is $1.50. I paid almost $4 for each one! My bill should have been around $30!”

(As she’s talking I finally realize what happened.)

Me: “Ma’am, do you by any chance happen to have an older menu?”

Customer: “Yes? Why?”

Me: *breathing in a sigh of relief* “Because our prices raised… a couple months ago, actually.”

Customer: “You mean to tell me that your cheese dip isn’t $1.50?”

Me: “Yes.”

Customer: “Then why is it on the menu?”

Me: “Ma’am… that menu is outdated. So is the one online.”

Customer: “But the menu says that it’s $1.50!”

(She is very angry and proceeds to tell me all the prices of the old menu.)

Me: “Ma’am, there is nothing I can do. I am sorry you did not have the updated menu at the time of your order, but there is nothing I can do. I cannot give a refund because you called hours after I gave you the food. I’m sorry, but there’s nothing I can do except pass along the complaint.”

Customer: *very tersely* “Bye.” *hangs up*

(I looked over at my manager and saw that he was trying hard not to laugh.)

This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 82

, , , , | Right | November 18, 2018

(My store got an ATM installed and a sign is put outside advertising this. Unfortunately, it says “FREE CASH HERE” rather than “free cash withdrawal” and we get customers thinking it’s funny to ask for their free cash on a daily basis. But this guy was the worst.)

Customer: “So where is my free cash?”

Coworker: *laughs awkwardly*

Customer: “Why are you laughing? Your sign says free cash. I want it.”

Coworker: “Oh, sorry, I thought you were joking. The sign is about our ATM at the back of the store; it doesn’t charge for withdrawals.”

Customer: “So, if I use it, I get free cash? It won’t take anything from my account?”

Coworker: “No, sir, it will. But you won’t be charged extra just for using it. If you take out £10 your account will be charged £10, instead of £12.50 because of a fee for using the machine.”

Customer: “But the sign says free cash. That’s not free!”

(I’ve been working within earshot and decide to step in even though my coworker didn’t call for me.)

Me: “Is everything okay, sir?”

Customer: “No. You have a sign saying I can get free cash here, but she says it’ll still go out of my account. That’s false advertising.”

Me: “I agree, sir. Unfortunately, we have no control over the machine or the sign; we just house it. Our manager has spoken to the people who provided both about it and they won’t change it.”

Customer: “Well, you should give me something out of your tills.”

Me: “I can’t do that. As I explained, we are not responsible for the ATM or the sign. If you like I can find the name of the company who provided them and you could contact them?”

Customer: “Well, that’s a start. I still think you should give me some free cash, though.”

(He continues trying to pressure my coworker to give him money while I go and get the name and contact number of the company. He snatches it from my hand and storms out. I realise one of our regulars has heard the whole thing and us shaking her head, looking bemused.)

Regular: “Did he genuinely think he was going to get free cash? I thought he was joking at first but now I’m not sure. What company makes money by giving it away?”

(We never saw that guy again, and the sign never changed.)


This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 80
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 79

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