Customer: “I read online that the production cost for this frappe is only $2.89.”

Me: “Possibly. I’m not aware of the production costs.”

Customer: “So then why am I paying $6 for it?!”

Me: “The store needs to make a profit.”

Customer: “Why?”

Me: “So it can pay to maintain the building… as well as pay baristas like me.”

Customer: “Ugh. You already get free coffee!”

They pay for their ‘overpriced’ frappe and come back after finishing it to get another for the road, as well as a slice of cake.

I work in a bubble tea shop in a luxury mall. We’re next door to a fancy coffee place. A well-dressed mother and her teenage daughter have come into the store, so that the daughter can get her boba. The mother is looking around in confusion.

Customer: “Don’t you sell regular coffee? What’s all this bubble stuff?”

Me: “We don’t sell regular coffee, but there’s a really nice coffee place literally next door. If you wanted to drink one of their beverages in this store to enjoy with your daughter’s drink, that will be fine.”

Customer: “Hmm, fine. What do they sell that’s good?”

Me: “They advertise themselves as an artisanal coffee place, so I’m sure all their coffee is of good quality.”

Customer: “Yes, but I’m asking you personally.”

Me: “I’ve never actually had any of their drinks, ma’am, but as I’ve said, I’m sure they’re—”

Customer: “—They’re literally next door, and you’ve never had one of their drinks?”

Customer’s Daughter: “Mom, maybe she doesn’t like coffee.”

Customer: *To her daughter.* “I don’t think it’s unreasonable for them to be able to answer a simple question like that, considering how much these places charge.”

Me: “Ma’am, how much they charge is the reason I can’t answer that question. The price of their regular latte is double my hourly wage.”

Customer: “That can’t be right. Like they charge $30 for a latte?!”

Me: “$16, actually.”

Customer: “But that would mean…”

Me: “…”

Customer: “…Oh.”

Customer’s Daughter: “Mom, I tried to stop you, but no, you just had to make it awkward.”

The mom was silent while the daughter ordered her bubble tea (a relative steal at $11). The mom did not go next door to have her coffee…

Related:
A Brewed Awakening, Part 2
A Brewed Awakening

I’m cashiering at a grocery store; we have a loyalty card system. A customer (with a loyalty card) comes into my checkout with a full cart and pays in cash. In fact, he pays in exact change.

As I’m counting it out, I hear this exchange between him and the next customer in line.

Next Customer: “Are you f****** kidding me? Just take the payment, lady!”

Current Customer: “Slow your roll, she’s gotta make sure I got the amount right.”

Next Customer: “What, so she doesn’t trust you?”

Current Customer: “What reason does she have to give me ANY sort of trust? I’m a complete stranger.

Next Customer: “You got their bull-s*** card, don’t you?”

Current Customer: “So does everyone else with half a brain who shops here regularly. They have NO reason to remember me. What is your PROBLEM?”

Next Customer: “I don’t want to be held up because some dumb-s*** cashier—”

Current Customer: “—is doing her job. You are LITERALLY complaining about the fact that she is doing her job, instead of enabling some jacka** to rip off the store. That’s all you’re doing.”

Next Customer: “Well, f*** you, a**hole!” *Storms off towards self-checkout.*

I might not have had a reason to remember him before, but I definitely do now!

I’m giving a guy some change, and accidentally give him two nickels instead of two dimes.

Customer: *Holding up the offending coins.* “Hey! What gives?!”

I look at the coins, and about a second later, I realize my mistake.

Me: “Oh! I’m very sorry, sir! It’s been a long day and—”

Customer: “—I don’t care! I come here and expect the cashier to know how to count!”

Suddenly, there’s a voice from a few feet away, storming down the aisle. It’s coming from an angry-looking older woman:

Older Woman Customer: “And I expect your momma would wanna know when her boy is actin’ a fool over a few cents!”

This woman is the living image of a true Southern Belle. I’m surprised she hasn’t said, “bless your heart”.

The customer’s eyes go wide.

Customer: “Grandma, I was just…”

Older Woman Customer: “…I heard what you ‘was just’ and I know you weren’t giving this nice young man all that grief when I know you have to take your drawers* off to count to eleven. Now apologize to the nice man and be on your way.”

The customer, face now red, turns to me, mumbles the softest apology known to man, takes his correct change from my hand, and runs out. The Belle nods at me and goes back into the store to resume her shopping. To be a fly on that household’s wall when grandma spills the beans!

Related:
These Southern Belles Need To Hang Out With The Old Scottish/Irish Women, Part 3
These Southern Belles Need To Hang Out With The Old Scottish/Irish Women, Part 2
These Southern Belles Need To Hang Out With The Old Scottish/Irish Women

*Underwear.

Just one of the typical calls I would get when I answered the customer phone:

Caller: “I paid for your services for my friend as a favor. But she didn’t pay me back. Can I have the money back, and you just sue her for the money?”

Me: “…No.”

Caller: “But she was the one who benefited from your services, and she didn’t pay for it. Why should I have to pay for it?”

Me: “I don’t know, you probably should have thought of that before you paid for the services.”

Caller: “Well, you should give me the money back because you didn’t provide your services to me specifically.”

Me: “You paid us to provide your friend with our services, we did exactly what you paid us to do, we are not required to do any more. You aren’t getting the money back. If you had an arrangement with your friend, then that was between you and your friend, and you need to take it up with her.”

Caller: “I thought you guys were supposed to have a reputation for being reasonable with people!”

Me: “Only when our customers make reasonable requests.”

Caller: *Click.*