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How To Get Yourself Permanently Uninvited

, , , , , | Friendly | August 31, 2021

Every few weeks, [Friend #1], [Friend #2], [Friend #3], and I plan little outings to catch up. This week is my turn to plan. [Friend 1#] tells me that [Friend #4] wants to go. I agree, even though I barely know him, because it brings the cost down and he seems like a nice guy. Before booking and paying, I send out a mass text.

Me: “Hi, all! The total for our adventure is $1,000. With all five of us, it’s $200 each. Is that okay with everyone or should we look for something smaller?”

The first three friends agree that it’s okay. [Friend #4] doesn’t respond. I wait for a full day before contacting him directly.

Me: “Are you good for $200 for [event]?”

Friend #4: “K.”

Me: “Okay, I’m gonna book it. You can pay me there.”

Friend #4: “I said OK.”

The day of the event comes and we all gather at my house. My first three friends have cash in hand, but [Friend #4] shows up empty-handed. I pull him aside. 

Me: *Quietly* “Hey, do you have your money?”

Friend #4: “No.”

Me: “I told you it’s $200 to go out today.”

Friend #4: “I don’t have that kind of money.”

Me: *Frustrated* “So why did you tell me you were good? I asked—”

Friend #4: “You said I could go.”

Me: “If you pay.”

Friend #4: “You didn’t say that. You invited me out and now you expect me to pay?”

Me: *Sigh* “If we cover you, can you pay us back?”

Friend #4: “You already paid for everything, right? It’s not a lot more if you—”

Me: “No. You pay or you don’t go.”

Friend #4: “I drove all the way here and you aren’t going to let me go?”

I shrug.

Friend #4: “F*** you!”

I’m one of those people who laugh when they get mad, like now.

Me: “Get the f*** out of here.”

Friend #4: “You know what? I heard you were a c***, but I gave you the benefit. Now I see he was right. You’re f****** white-a** trash. F*** you!”

I tell our friends what happened. [Friend #1] shakes his head. 

Friend #1: “I’m sorry, [My Name]. He has money; he just doesn’t like to spend it. He pulled the same s*** at dinner the other night.”

Me: “Well… thanks for being so flexible. But if any of you ask if [Friend #4] can come with us again, my answer is no.”

My friends all pitched in to help cover [Friend #4]’s absence. He tried to wedge his way into another event a few weeks later, but I shut him down without hesitation.

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Just Another Stressor In The Homebuying Process

, , , , , | Working | August 30, 2021

In Scotland, if you are selling your house, you are required to pay to have it surveyed yourself. However, the sellers are only obligated to get the most basic survey. When I was buying my first house, I decided to pay for an enhanced survey myself. I did not have any idea how badly this would confuse my mortgage company.

First of all, they kept misfiling the letters and evidence I submitted in support of my mortgage. Then, they entered my phone number incorrectly in their system, and despite phoning them and updating it repeatedly, they didn’t change it so I didn’t get notified that things were missing.

This led to the survey I instructed becoming outdated, so I was informed that I needed to get a new one. I spoke with the surveyor, who told me that they had had problems with my lender accepting updated reports before and to double-check with them that they would definitely accept the updated report. So, dutifully, I did this and explained that I would be paying for a refresh of the survey they already had. I asked if we could confirm that this would be acceptable. The agent I spoke with was very confused about why I asked; of course, it would be fine. I’m sure you can see where this is now going.

£200 and two weeks later, I received a letter telling me that the report was unacceptable because it was completed by the same surveyor who provided the initial report — a complete conflict of interest, apparently. I submitted a complaint and had this conversation with the mortgage company agent.

Agent: “I’ve reviewed your case and I don’t think we’re at fault.”

Me: “How can you possibly say that? I specifically phoned you to confirm that this survey would be acceptable before I instructed it and your underwriter told me it would be. Now you’re telling me that I need to pay another £200 to get someone else to do it.”

Agent: “Ah, well, I’ve listened to the call, and you didn’t specifically ask if it was okay to use the same company again.”

Me: “Maybe not in those words, but I mentioned them by name. you must have heard that. Surely your underwriter should have spoken up if using the same company was a problem? Frankly, I think you should pay for the survey.”

Agent: “I see we’ve already paid you £100 compensation due to the delay in processing your application. Frankly, I wouldn’t have given that to you and I think you’ve already received more compensation than you should have. If you want to pursue this further, then please submit a further written complaint, but we will not pay for the survey and I see nothing further for us to discuss.”

Me: “This is outrageous and I absolutely will be following this up.”

I hung up and called the surveyor to tell them the bad news. They were actually so apologetic about their role in the confusion that they fully refunded me for the survey and helped put me in contact with another business who sorted it out for me very quickly for the original sum agreed. I was amazed that it all got sorted out in the end, no thanks to my mortgage company!

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Tell Us You Don’t Know What A Fascist Is Without Saying It

, , , | Right | CREDIT: stabstabstabbystab | August 27, 2021

I work in a call center.

Customer: “I can’t pay by direct debit anymore. How else can I pay?”

Me: “You can either log in and pay by card every month, or if you want us to store your card details, we’ll just take it as a card transaction each month.”

Customer: “That’s just a direct debit.”

Me: “No, direct debits are a more secure method of payment because they’re protected by the direct debit guarantee. Card payments are just like when you make a purchase online and enter your card details.”

Customer: “Yes, that’s just a direct debit!”

I explain again.

Customer: “Look, it shouldn’t matter how I pay you, as long as you get paid! Are you willing to help me or not?”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but there’s nothing I can do. These are the methods of payment we accept.”

Customer: “You, young lady, are a fascist!” *Hangs up*

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A Most Unreceptive Receptionist, Part 13

, , , , , , | Working | August 27, 2021

I get a voicemail from my dentist’s office saying that I have an outstanding bill and to call them right away. This is odd because the last time I saw them, all that was done was a routine cleaning and I paid a copay at the visit. I’m not looking forward to the call since the receptionist is frequently rude.

Receptionist: “[Dentist]’s office, this is [Receptionist].”

Me: “Hi, [Receptionist], this is [My Name]. I’m returning the call I received from you about a bill.”

Receptionist: “It’s about time you called! Do you know how much you owe?!”

Me: “No, I never received a bill in the mail.”

Receptionist: “It’s $700. Get your credit card so we can take care of this.”

Me: “Wait, what?! $700 for a cleaning? Is that with insurance?”

Receptionist: *Smugly* “You didn’t have insurance. So, how are you planning on making the payment? I can take a credit card number right now.”

Me: “Yes, I do have insurance. It needs to be run again.”

Receptionist: “The insurance I have on file didn’t go through. You owe us $700.”

Me: “Is that with the old insurance or the new one I provided you with when I came in?”

Receptionist: “Uh, what?”

Me: “Was it [Old Insurance] or [New Insurance]?”

Receptionist: “It was [Old Insurance].”

Me: “That one isn’t current anymore.”

Receptionist: “Well, you didn’t give a new insurance when you were here, so now you owe us $700.”

Me: “No. I have insurance and I did give you the new insurance. I’d be more than happy to provide you the insurance information and have you run that again before making any payments.”

Receptionist: “I guess that’s the only option you’re giving me?”

Me: “Yes.”

She begrudgingly takes the information, asking for it in a very nasty tone.

Receptionist: “Fine, I did what you want. Is there anything else I can do for you?”

Me: “Yes, actually. Cancel my next appointment.”

Her attitude suddenly changes.

Receptionist: “Oh, uh, can I ask why?”

Me: “Because I never want to deal with you again.”

Sure enough, the $700 bill disappeared once sent through the correct insurance company.

A Most Unreceptive Receptionist, Part 12
A Most Unreceptive Receptionist, Part 11
A Most Unreceptive Receptionist, Part 10
A Most Unreceptive Receptionist, Part 9
A Most Unreceptive Receptionist, Part 8

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It’s Easier For You To Just Leave

, , , | Right | August 26, 2021

A woman comes into the bank to cash a $500 check. I take some hundreds from my drawer and count three of them onto the counter in front of me. Then, I take some twenties from the drawer and count ten of them onto the stack in front of me. I pick up the stack of cash and count it again quickly to myself before counting it out to the client.

Me: “Can I help you with anything else?”

I slide the money over to her.

Client: “If it’s easier for you, you can just give me all hundreds.”

I give her a slightly perplexed look, because I have counted this cash three times right in front of her and I have ALREADY GIVEN IT TO HER.

Me: “Would you like all one-hundred-dollar bills?”

Client: “Well, if it’s easier for you—”

Me: *Inner sigh* “I’d be happy to give you all hundred-dollar bills, if you’d prefer it.”

She is still holding all the money I gave her.

Client: “I just thought it would be easier for you.”

I am trying hard to sound funny and breezy.

Me: “Well, ma’am, since I already counted out the cash and gave it to you, the easiest thing for me to do right now would be to smile and tell you to enjoy your day. But I’d be happy to exchange the twenties for hundreds if that is what you want.”

Client: *Looking bewildered* “But I thought it might be easier for you.”

I redid the transaction. It was not easier for me.

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