(I’m alone in the shop. Most customers are polite and understand I can only serve one customer at a time. Every so often, someone will have a simple question that I can answer while helping someone else. That’s not a problem. This time, however, keep in mind this whole conversation with [Customer #2] happens while I’m trying to assist [Customer #1].)

Customer #1: Could I have these flowers wrapped, please?

Me: “Absolutely. Would you like—“

Customer #2: “Excuse me, could I just ask a question?”

Me: “Sure. What do you need?”

Customer #2: “Why are these flowers here $4.99 and those flowers over there are $2.99? What’s the difference?”

Me: “It’s the same kind of flower, but the marked-down ones are a little older, so we discounted them.” *to [Customer #1]* “Ma’am, would you like me to put—“

Customer #2: “Oh, so they’re OLDER. I should have known.” *indicating more flowers on the display, which is prominently labeled with signs that say “$4.99″* “Are these flowers $4.99, too?”

Me: “Yes, they are.”

Customer #2: *poking at more flowers on the same display* “What about these?”

Me: “Yes, all the flowers on that display are $4.99.” *to [Customer #1]* “Here you go. If you just step over to the register—“

Customer #2: “So they’re all $4.99?”

Me: “On that display, yes.”

Customer #2: “Why are your carnations on sale?”

Me: “Because we got a huge shipment of them and we’re trying to sell them while they’re still fresh, so you get a deal.”

Customer #2: “Hmph! Is that so?”

Me: “…Yes.”

Customer #2: “Hmm.” *eyes carnations suspiciously*

(I really wanted to say, “If I tell you something’s wrong with them like you seem determined to believe, will you leave me alone?”)

(A coworker is ringing up a customer who is on her phone the entire time. She doesn’t look up or acknowledge the cashier once during the entire transaction. The transaction is complete, so the customer walks away, still talking on her phone. The cashier watches as the woman finishes up her phone call, then looks down at her receipt. The customer storms back up to the register.)

Customer: “You didn’t price match any of my items!”

Cashier: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but I don’t know if you want to price match unless you tell me.”

Customer: “Oh…”

(A boy about 16-17 wants to buy a game controller.)

Me: “All right, looks like your total is $63.59.”

Customer: *puts money on counter* “I have… 63”

Me: *counts* “Yep! Now all we need is 59 cents.”

Customer: “…I have 63?”

Me: “Yep! But, you still owe 59 cents..”

Customer: “But… I have 63?”

Me: “I’m sorry. You still owe some money.”

Customer: “Uh! I ONLY HAVE 63! Now I have to go find a dollar! I’ll be back!”

(Never came back.)

(We have two types of coupons in our store, a certain number of dollars off and percent off. No matter how you do it, dollars-off coupons will always come off before percent off coupons. It scans this way no matter what order you put them in and it says on every coupon. A woman comes up to my customer service desk.)

Customer: “Excuse me, why didn’t I get 30% off my total?”

Me: “Well, your total was $0. You had a dollars-off coupon that came off first and so you didn’t owe anything.”

Customer: “But I wanted to use my 30%.”

Me: “Well, the system won’t let you. 30% off zero is still zero.”

Customer: “No, re-ring the order and don’t use the dollars-off coupon so I can use my thirty percent.”

(I do this even though it makes no sense since she is literally now paying money instead of owing nothing.)

Me: “Okay, your total today is $15.00.”

Customer: “Much better.”

(Still not sure how spending $15 is better than spending nothing.)

(I work behind the customer service desk at a chain grocery store.)

Customer: “Hi, I’d like to return this chicken. My husband bought it earlier today, but one of the breasts looks a little odd to me.”

Me: “All right, do you have your receipt?”

Customer: “Right here.”

(She hands me over her packed chicken breasts and her receipt. I examine the chicken; it doesn’t look off to me, and it’s still within the sell-by date, but I shrug and check her receipt. And then I notice something.)

Me: “Uh, you are aware that this chicken was ‘buy one, get one free,’ right?”

Customer: “Yes, that’s correct.”

(I double-check the price on the receipt and on the chicken, she’s returning the package she didn’t have to pay for.)

Me: “So you know that you got this package for free.”

Customer: “But I want my money back.”

Me: “Yes, but this isn’t the package you paid for. You got this one for free as part of the sale.”

Customer: “But I want my money back.”

(We went back and forth for a bit before I called my manager and asked what to do. He said to make a one-time exception and give her the money. I had to return almost ten dollars worth of chicken she initially got for free. I couldn’t believe how spineless my manager was, and the smug little smirk the lady shot me as she walked away soured my mood for the rest of my shift.)