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Taxing Is Taxing Even In Canada

, , , , , , | Right | May 20, 2019

(I am working a cash register when a middle-aged customer approaches with a single pair of flip-flops. Sales tax has not changed here for several years.)

Me: *scans sandals* “Your total is $5.50.”

Customer: “WHAT?! The tag says $5!”

Me: “Yes, sir, they are $5, but with tax, they come to $5.50.”

Customer: “Why aren’t they $5?”

Me: “They are, sir, but with tax, your total is $5.50.”

Customer: *shouting* “Bloody Harper!”

(He then throws the flip-flops on the ground before stomping out of the store.)

Me: *to coworker* “Apparently, he thinks this is the first Prime Minister we’ve had to pay tax under?”

Liquid Electricity

, , , , | Right | May 20, 2019

(I am at my credit union depositing checks. They are displaying one of those small three-door smart cars inside the branch and another customer is talking to a teller about it.)

Customer: “D***, look at that little car! It’s supposed to save you money, right?”

Teller: “That’s right, sir. It’s a hybrid and get’s 107 miles per gallon.”

Customer: “So, it’s all electric, then?”

Me: “Yep, it gets 107 miles per gallon of electricity!”

Living Paycheck To Announcement About Paycheck

, , , , | Working | May 20, 2019

(It’s Friday, and a payday Friday at that. I’ve already planned my bills, paid one through my mobile app, and decided what I’m getting for groceries, you know, like a normal budgeting adult. My coworker comes in and I say hello to her.)

Coworker: “Hello, [My Name].”

Me: “Hey [Coworker]. Happy payday!”

Coworker: *stops dead in her tracks, eyes go wide* “It’s payday?!”

Me: “Yes?” *laughs at her shocked expression* “How do you not know this?!”

Coworker: “It’s payday!” *does a happy dance off down the hallway* “Thanks, [My Name]!”

Me: “You’re… welcome?”

(Seriously. How do you not know when you get paid?! It must be nice not to have to worry about money!)

People In Minimum Wage Jobs Are Ironically In It For The Money

, , , , | Working | May 17, 2019

(I’ve worked at a large-scale pet store chain for several years. It’s before opening and we’re having a meeting in the back.)

Manager: “I have a big surprise! I’ve been given permission to give out a special raise to whoever proves themselves most worthy. I’m not going to say how much it is, but trust me, it’s worth it. You’ll get a set amount of money each week.”

(She goes on for several minutes about all the things we could buy with this raise, painting the picture like it’s life-changing. Everyone seems quite excited, and I, a poor college student, am desperate to get this raise. For the next several weeks, I volunteer to do the least favorable jobs, like cleaning the cages and accidents made by dogs brought to the store. I put in for hours that no one wants, like the closing shift where we have to clean at the end of the night. All seems well, and I believe I’m going to get the raise. I’m called into the manager’s office about a month after the announcement.)

Manager: “So, [My Name]. I’ve noticed you’ve been working really hard the last month or so.”

Me: “Yes, ma’am. I’ve been trying my hardest.”

Manager: “Uh-huh. I don’t like suck-ups, [My Name].”

Me: “Excuse me?”

Manager: “I know you’re only working hard for the raise, and I know that you’re just a lazy piece of s*** who wants to get your grubby little hands on the extra cash.”

Me: *stunned silence*

Manager: “But not everyone saw through your plan, so the raise is yours via my boss. Here’s the money for this week. Enjoy it, pig.”

(She slides a check over on the table and gives me a death glare. I grab the check and quickly walk out of the room, making a beeline for the bathroom. I sit in the bathroom for about five minutes, crying, as I’m sleep deprived and emotional from not only balancing work and college, but working the extra hours and later shifts the last month. I power through the rest of my shift, which is only about thirty minutes, and am just leaving when I happen to run into my manager’s boss, which isn’t unusual, as he often hangs around our store. I know him somewhat personally, as he’s friends with my father.)

Manager’s Boss: “Are you okay, [My Name]? Your eyes are red.”

Me: “Yeah, I’m fine. Thank you for the raise. I really needed it.”

Manager’s Boss: “You sure you’re okay?”

Me: *on the verge of tears again* “It’s just that [Manager] called me a lazy piece of s*** and a pig because I got the raise.”

Manager’s Boss: “SHE DID WHAT? Go home, [My Name]. I’m taking care of this.”

(Worried, I go home. I haven’t had time, so I look at the check. It’s only for two cents a week. I call my manager, as with the way she described it, it must have been more.)

Manager: “WHAT?”

Me: “Uh… I’m sorry to bother you… It’s just that the check that you gave me… is, um… just for two cents. I think it was a typo.”

Manager: *smug* “Oh, so you were just doing it for the money, huh?”

Me: *fed up* “All right, you want to know the truth? I’m a poor college student barely making minimum wage. I have to skip meals because I can’t afford to eat. So, yeah, I’m mostly in it for the money. Happy, b****?”

Manager: *click*

(I come in the next day and am not surprised to be called into my manager’s office. I expect to be fired, and I really regret what I said. I’m surprised to find my manager and her boss in the office as I take a seat.)

Manager’s Boss: “So, ladies. What’s the issue?”

Manager: “She called me a b****.”

(Her boss doesn’t even flinch.)

Me: “I was trying to call because the check she gave me was for two cents. She called me a pig. I’m sorry for losing my temper, ma’am.”

Manager’s Boss: “Don’t apologise, [My Name]. That check was for $30. What the h***, [Manager]?”

(My manager turned bright red and began to stutter. Apparently, the manager had been taking cuts from bonus checks. We had to call the police to escort her from the property. We got a new, much better manager, and I got my bonus. I quit the next year when I was offered a better job.)

In A Bad (Inter)State

, , , | Working | May 16, 2019

(I, unfortunately, find myself unable to pay my credit card bill. I am driving on the interstate in heavy traffic while it’s raining. My phone rings. Normally, I would let it go to voicemail, but as I’m stopped at that second I take a moment to answer. I realize it’s someone from my credit card company, calling for their missed payment. After running through her little script, she asks me something about discussing payment options. Politely, I respond to her.)

Me: “Well, I’m sorry to say this, but I actually can’t — and shouldn’t — be talking right now. I’m driving in heavy traffic on the interstate and it’s raining. I can call back later; is that okay?”

(There’s a moment of silence before she replies with this gem:)

Agent: “Oh, well… Is there any way you could pull over and we could discuss this?”

(I am momentarily stunned, but when I get my voice I respond.)

Me: “Ma’am, with all due respect, I just told you I was driving in heavy traffic, in the rain, on the interstate. To be honest with you, I only answered because I’m stopped in traffic. Furthermore, I am not going to traverse through two lanes of traffic to pull over, on the interstate, to discuss a missed payment. I wouldn’t pull over even if I weren’t stuck in traffic. Sorry to sound rude, but that is a ridiculous request. Now, I have to focus on driving. I’m sorry, but I will be calling back later.”

(I hung up because I was trying to get into the rightmost lane so I could get ready to get off at my exit. I felt bad for saying all that, and for hanging up on her, but in my opinion, asking someone to pull over on the interstate to talk maybe ten minutes about payment options is ridiculous, when I could just do that when I arrived home, safe.)