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Even Owners Have A Stupid Quota

, , , | Right | March 10, 2008

(A customer gives me a Canadian quarter. I refuse to accept it. He gets angry.)

Me: “Sir, I can’t accept this quarter. It’s Canadian.”

Customer: “So? I got it from somewhere in the US so you must accept it.”

Me: “No, sir, I can not. My drawer will come up short.”

Customer: “It’s not my fault someone gave me this quarter! Why should I take the blame for it? Take the quarter!”

Me: “Oh, I see. So it is my fault, then?”

Customer: “YES! Take the quarter!”

(I take a quarter out of my pocket and then throw that Canadian quarter across the room to a trash can.)

Customer: “Call your manager.”

Me: *smiling* “I am the owner, sir. How can I help you?”

 

Oh, How The Truth Doth Sting

, , , , | Right | February 15, 2008

(As a result of the US/Canadian currency parity, a lot of customers have been angry that they have to pay the Canadian price instead of the cheaper US price.)

Customer: “Which price do I have to pay: the American or Canadian?”

Coworker: “I’m afraid you have to pay the Canadian price.”

Customer: *angrily* “Why?”

Coworker: “Quite simply, we buy from Canadian publishers with Canadian money. Also, that book was bought before the price parity; therefore, to sell at the American price would mean that we would not be making any money.”

Customer: “Well, I want you to explain to my seven-year-old daughter why she’s not getting this book for Christmas.”

Me: “…because her dad is a cheapskate?”


This story is part of the Christmas Day roundup!

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Hey Look, It’s Raining Change

, , , | Right | February 12, 2008

A lady walks in with a bunch of change in her hands.

Lady: “Can you give me a dollar bill for all this change?”

Me: “Sorry, it’s against company policy to open the register unless I am making a sale.”

Lady: “But you just opened the register for that kid.”

Me: “Yes, because I was making a sale.”

Lady: “This is bull-s***. You aren’t helping me because I’m Hispanic!”

She starts swearing at me in Spanish and English.

Me: “Have a good day, ma’am.”

She continues yelling.

Me: “Have a good day.”

She is still yelling.

Me: “Ma’am, I am going to have to ask you to leave.”

The lady is about two feet away from me and throws all of her coins at me. I didn’t move because I was in shock. She managed to not hit me with one single coin.

Me: “Ma’am, you dropped your change.”


This story is part of our Confused-With-Spanish roundup!

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If Only It Grew On Trees, Part 2

, , | Right | February 8, 2008

(I work in a local government call centre and take calls from the residents about all kinds of things–including education.)

Customer: “Hi, I got your booklet about the school meals and it said I can get a grant for clothing.”

Me: “That would be the school uniform grant. Could I take yours and your child’s details? I can send you an application form.”

Customer: “I don’t have kids, can’t I have the money for myself? I’m on income support.”

Me: “The grant is for the school uniform, sir, and it is only available for children.”

Customer: “So I can’t have the money for myself?”

Me: “Um… no.”

Customer: “For f***’s sake!” *hangs up*

(I wasn’t sure if he wanted the money for normal clothes, or wanted to buy himself an actual school uniform.)

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If Only It Grew On Trees

Three Cents Of Nonsense

, , | Right | February 7, 2008

Me: “Thank you for calling guest relations. This is [My Name] speaking, how can I help you?”

Customer: “Yes, you guys overcharged me and I will accept nothing short of a full refund. This is ridiculous.”

Me: “I’d be more than happy to help. Do you have your confirmation number?”

Customer: “Yes. It’s [number].”

Me: “Great. One moment, please.”

(I look at their reservation history.)

Me: “Okay, sir. So I’m showing you have a reservation arriving tonight. One king bed, non-smoking, booked at a rate of $1297.66. What were you quoted?”

Customer: “I was quoted a rate of $1297.63.”

Me: “So you were misquoted by three cents?”

Customer: “Yes. And I demand the rate I was quoted be honored.”

Me: “But it’s three cents…”

Customer: “You d*** corporations! WHY ARE YOU RIPPING ME OFF!?”