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We All Feel Your Pain

, , | Right | June 25, 2008

(I am in line to pay for a snack at a local convenience store when an elderly woman comes in and heads right to the front of the line.)

Customer: “My gas tank isn’t filled.”

Employee: “I’m sorry, I’m waiting on these customers right now. If you get in line, I’ll be happy to–”

Customer: “No! Your gas isn’t filling my tank, and I want to know why.”

Manager: “I’m sorry, may I help you?”

Customer: “Your gas doesn’t fill up my tank. I came in with less than half a tank and your gas didn’t even fill it up three-quarters of the way!”

Manager: “I’m sorry, ma’am. I’ll have someone come in and look at the pump you were using. For right now, you’re welcome to go to one of our other pumps and finish filling your tank.”

Employee: *to the manager* “She only prepaid $10…”

Manager: “You prepaid for $10 of gas?”

Customer: “That’s right.”

Manager: “And… $10 isn’t… filling your tank….”

Customer: “When my husband, God rest his soul, pumped gas, he used to pay $10 and it would fill up our tank.”

Manager: “When was this?”

Customer: “That doesn’t matter! My son-in-law has been pumping my gas since. I’ve given him $10 and it’s filled up my tank every time. You’re trying to take advantage of me because I’m an old woman!”

Manager: “No, ma’am… the price of gas has gone up quite a bit in the last few years… It costs me almost $50 to fill my car–”

Customer: “Don’t give me that! It’s always cost me $10… I’m going right to the Better Business Bureau and the Attorney General’s Office!”

Manager: “Yes, ma’am. Sorry about the trouble. Good luck with all that…”

It’s Not Unusual To Be Fake With Anyone

, , , | Right | June 24, 2008

(I work in the Asset Management Department for a provider of loans and mortgages. It means that I have to try over the phone to get money out of people who haven’t made their monthly payments in ages.)

Customer: “Hello?”

Me: “Hello, is that Richard White?”

Customer: “Yeah, who’s this?”

Me: “Hello Richard, this is [My Name] calling from [Finance Company]. I just need to ask you some security questions before I proceed: could you please give me your date of birth?”

Customer: “…”

Me: “Hello?”

Customer: “Oh yeah… it’s… um… 3rd of December… 19… 74.”

(This is a completely different date of birth to what is on my screen.)

Me: “And you confirmed that you are Richard White?”

Customer: “No… my name’s… um… my name’s Tom.”

Me: “Tom?”

Customer: “Yes.”

Me: “Tom what?”

Customer: “Tom… Jones.”

Me: “But you just said you were Richard White.”

Customer: *hangs up*

One Loses His Allowance, The Other His Immortal Soul

, , , , , , | Right | June 22, 2008

(I am in high school working at a dollar store. It’s a small town so Sundays are usually busy after church services. This man, his wife, and his young son are in line.)

Me: “That will be $25.30.”

Customer: “I’ve only got $15… We gave $20 at the offering today. You think you could give me a break?”

Customer’s Young Son: *innocently* “We didn’t give any money at church today.”


This story is part of our Customers Caught Lying roundup!

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Read the Customers Caught Lying roundup!

While We’re At It, Here’s A Check For A Gazillion Bucks

, , , , , | Right | June 21, 2008

(My pizza place recently stopped accepting checks, due to a large number of returned checks. We have a large sign in the lobby, and a smaller sign at the register.)

Customer: “What?! I can’t write a check?”

Me: “I’m sorry, we no longer accept checks. We simply get too many returned for insufficient funds.”

Customer: “But I was going to write a check…”

Me: “We accept credit cards, or you can use your debit card for that checking account.”

Customer: “I can’t use my debit card! I don’t have enough money in my account!”

(And THAT is why we no longer take checks!)

Who Needs History When You Have Hollywood

, , , , , | Right | June 20, 2008

(A tourist walks up to my register with a handful of trinkets. I ring her up, she pays, I bag the items, and hand her the coin change. As she steps away, I see a dollar still on the counter.)

Me: “Ma’am, you forgot the rest of your change.”

Tourist: “Oh! I guess I did, unless you were paying me in pesos.”

Me: “Excuse me?”

Tourist: “Pesos. The money in Mexico.”

Me: “I know what a peso is, ma’am, but I’m not Mexican.”

Tourist: “Puerto Rican?”

Me: “Not even close.”

Tourist: “Cuban?”

Me: “No.”

Tourist: “What are you, then?”

Me: “I’m Native American.”

Tourist: “So am I.”

(She’s white as notebook paper.)

Me: “No, I mean the people here before white people.”

Tourist: “What do you mean?”

Me: “You don’t know about Natives? Indians?”

Tourist: “Oh, you mean the people John Wayne killed off.”

Me: “Just take your change.”


This story is part of our Native-American roundup.

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