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Well Played, Indeed, Part 2

, , , | Right | October 20, 2008

Me: “Thank you for calling [Costume Store]. How may I help you?”

Customer: “Hi, do you guys have costumes?”

Me: *sarcastically* “No, I’m afraid we’re a tax accounting service.”

Customer: “Oh. Can I write off a costume rental on my taxes?”

The Lights Are On But Nobody’s Home

, , , | Right | October 15, 2008

Client: “I need to see if I can get a settlement advancement because I only have enough money to pay my rent or electricity bill.”

Me: “I will talk to the adjuster and see if we can get an advancement, but they don’t have to give you one and we can not force them.”

Client: “That’s great, thank you… but which bill should I pay?”

Me: “I am not going to tell you what to do, but let me ask you this: what good is electricity if you do not have a place to live?”

Client: “So, which bill should I pay then?”

Me: “…really?”


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Too Much Of A Good Thing

, , , , | Right | October 13, 2008

Customer: “Where is your manager?”

Me: “Sir, what seems to be the problem?”

Customer: “These cones are the problem. There are too many.”

Me: “You bought too many cones?”

Customer: “Kid, read this for me. That box says twelve cones, right? Well, I bought it for my daughter’s birthday party yesterday and opened it up to find fourteen cones. That’s false advertising! I could sue your a** off for doing that. Now get me the god-d*** manager!”

Me: “Sir, please accept my sincerest apologies for any inconvenience you may have suffered.”

(I open the box, remove two cones, and hand it back to him.)

Customer: *muttering* “A man’s got to get his money’s worth…”

Barking Up The Wrong Tree

, , , , , , | Right | October 13, 2008

Me: “This is [My Name]. How can I help you?”

Customer: “Yeah, I want a discount on my services.”

Me: “I’d be glad to see if you qualify for a promotion on a new service–”

Customer: “No, I mean on my current services.”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am. We don’t have any promotions like that; they’re only for new services.”

Customer: “Well, this is bull-s***! I shouldn’t have to pay for Spanish channels that I don’t watch and can’t understand. Let the Mexicans pay extra for those, not me!”

Me: “Ma’am, we cater to our demographic, and California as a whole has a very large Hispanic population including MYSELF and my family.”

Customer: “That’s terrible! I’m on a budget and don’t think I should be charged for these.”

Me: “Again, I’m sorry, ma’am, but that’s just how are services are offered.”

Customer: “Well I’ll tell you this… you better watch out, because before you know it, a MEXICAN is gonna take your job!”

Me: “…all right, then, ma’am. Gracias por llamar a [Empresa] que tenga un buen dia.” *click*

Team Building Retreat With The Reindeer

, , , , , | Right | October 8, 2008

Me: “Good evening, [Hotel]. This is [My Name]. How can I help you?”

Caller: “I’d like to check your availability for December 24th to the 26th.”

Me: “We do have rooms available for those dates.”

Caller: “I work for the government, and I’m wondering if you have the government discount?”

Me: “Only government employees on official government business are eligible for our government rates.”

Caller: “I’m on official business, then!”

Me: “You’re trying to book a room for Christmas.”

Caller: *hangs up*


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