A lady in her mid-twenties calls in to get her balance.

Me: “Your balance today is -$50.00.”

Silence.

Me: “Is there anything else I can help with?”

Caller: “People keep telling me that, but what does it mean?”

I am baffled by this lady’s lack of basic adult knowledge.

Me: “It means you have spent more money than you have, and you owe the bank fifty dollars.”

Caller: “So… how much do I have left?”

Again, I pause, as I haven’t met this level of lack of understanding before.

Me: “None. You owe fifty dollars because you have spent more than you have.”

Caller: “So, if I go in on Monday and deposit fifty dollars, what will I have then?”

Me: “You will then no longer owe the bank money, after you deposit what you owe.”

This went on for another ten minutes. I explained multiple times over how a negative balance works, and what would happen when she deposited money. I don’t think she ever truly understood what I was saying, and I put a note on her account so her local branch would have a heads up if she went crazy negative in the future.

Related:
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 92
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 91
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 90

I’m really bad with confrontation.

Cashier: “Your total is $26.15.”

Me: “Okay.”

I hand her $41.15.

Cashier: “What are you giving me all this money for?!”

Me: “I— I— I— Change.”

The cashier gave me a dirty look. She called her supervisor, took a long time to count out $15, and shoved it into my hands. The whole time, she held my items behind the counter. I have no idea how I offended her so badly.

I finish a grocery order, and the woman pays in American money. I give her change in Canadian loonies and toonies. She just looks at the money and blinks.

Customer: “I’m American. Can I have my change in bills, please?”

I work at a money exchange facility. A girl approaches me in my office.

Customer: “How much is your service fee?”

Me: “Hello! Well, it depends on how much you are exchanging.”

Customer: “Yes, but how much is it?”

Me: “The maximum fee is 19.7%, but it depends on how much you want to exchange. How many dollars do you have?”

Customer: “No, I want to know in Euros how much it’s going to be.”

Me: “Ma’am, it’s a percentage, and it depends on the amount. It could be smaller, but you need to tell me how much you think to exchange”

Customer: *Patronizingly* “You don’t understand! Since it’s a percentage, how many Euros is it going to be?”

Me: “I’m sorry, no, I don’t understand. It’s a percentage; percentages depend on the total amount.”

Customer: “Yes, tell me how many Euros it will be on the total amount!!”

I just look puzzled.

Customer: “Never mind. I’ll ask somewhere else.”

Me: “Good luck!” 

Related:
They’re Not In The Upper Percentile, Part 2
They’re Not In The Upper Percentile

I work for a local historical society. We provide guides for historical tours of the cities for groups visiting. They have to provide their own bus.

Me: “[Historical Society], this is [My Name]. How may I help you?”

Customer: “Yes, I’m [Customer] from [Tour Company], and I’m calling about arranging a step-on guide.”

Me: “I’d be happy to help you get the ball rolling on this. I’ll need to collect a little information from you first.”

Customer: “I’ve already spoken to [Coworker] at the Visitor’s Center. She told me that the price is $10 a person, on my bus! That is outrageous! I wouldn’t pay that anywhere!”

This has been our set price for years, and we have never had any complaints.

Me: “Sir, I don’t know what to tell you. That is our price.”

Customer: “I’m going to be having four buses and we need a tour, and you are the only ones in the area that offer them! But that price is just too high!”

Me: “Since you have four buses, let me talk to my boss and see if we can cut you a special rate. Will you hold for a moment?”

Customer: “Yes.”

I place him on hold and talk to my boss, who tells me to quote him a price of $350 per bus.

Customer: “What?! This is ridiculous. I’m not willing to pay more than $2 per person!”

Me: “Then I’m afraid we won’t be able to provide guides for you.”

Customer: “How dare you?!” *Click*