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The Financial Crisis Personified

, , , | Right | July 9, 2009

(A lady walks up to my register with a medium coffee.)

Me: “That’ll be $1.17 please.”

Customer: “All right, I’ve just got a few cards here to put that on.”

Me: “…”

Customer: “Take 75 cents off this one.” *hands over card*

Me: “Okay… 42 cents is the remaining balance.”

Customer: “Next, take 40 cents off this one.” *hands over next card* “…and take the remaining 2 cents off this card.”

Me: “Ma’am, I’ve got two extra pennies for you; I’m not charging two cents…”

Customer: “Oh, thank you! You know how it goes sometimes with credit cards, I’m sure…”

Me: “No; no, I really do not.”

Customer: “Oh, well, you really should manage your finances better!” *walks out*


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Have Age, Will Complain

, , | Right | July 8, 2009

(Our local gas station has recently been taken over by new owners. An elderly woman comes in to buy a cup of coffee and takes it to the front to pay.)

Me: “That’ll be a dollar fifty.”

Customer: “What? That’s outrageous! The old owners would never have charged that much!”

Me: “Ma’am, it’s the same price as it was before.”

Customer: “Well… I’m seventy! I have the right to b****!” *storms out*

Guilty, Yet Guiltless

, , , , | Legal Right | July 1, 2009

Me: “Hi, is [Customer] there?”

Customer: “This is him.”

Me: “Hi, [Customer]. I’m calling about your order.”

Customer: “Oh, great! What do you need?”

Me: “Well, sir, you, unfortunately, forgot to sign both your money orders.”

Customer: “So?”

Me: “We can’t cash them if they’re not signed. They’re like checks that way.”

Customer: “So? When that happens, you should just sign it for us. You must write checks to yourselves for customers all the time.”

Me: “No, sir, that’s called fraud.”

Customer: “So?”

Me: “So… that’s illegal.”

Customer: “So?”

No Dimes Like The Present

, , , , | Right | June 29, 2009

(It’s my first day, and the place I’m working at has me doing registers. A lady comes up with a full cart with approximately $400 worth of merchandise. I run her credit card through, and it gets denied.)

Me: “Sorry, ma’am, your card isn’t being accepted by our system.”

Customer: “But it should be working! It doesn’t expire until 2022!”

Me: “Unfortunately, it seems your card might be maxed out. The expiration date won’t really help there.”

Customer: “…but it’s good until 2022!”

Co-worker: “Ma’am, there’s nothing he can do. Either find another way to pay for your purchase or leave the merchandise here.”

Customer: “All right, I’ll write a check, but I’m going to call [credit card company] and complain. They gave me a bad credit card! It’s not supposed to expire until 2022!”

(Surprisingly, the check went through.)

Crimes Of (Extremely Long) Premeditation

, , , , , | Right | June 26, 2009

Me: “That’ll be $23.44, ma’am.”

Customer: *stares off into space*

Me: “…Ma’am?”

Customer: “What?”

Me: “How would you like to pay for this?”

Customer: “Oh, right, I guess I have to give you money…”

Me: “I’d appreciate it.”

Customer: “…or, I could always steal it.”

(At first, I think she’s kidding; but, after a long pause, I realize she is actually contemplating this.)

Me: “I’d go with the former, ma’am.”