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Doesn’t Have Hundred-Percent Comprehension

, , , , , | Right | February 2, 2018

(I have just started my shift and I only have $100 in my till, as per policy.)

Customer: “I would like change for a hundred.”

Me: “I’m sorry, but I don’t have enough change at this time.”

Customer: “Then I would like an iced coffee with cream and sugar, please.”

Me: “Okay, the total will be [less than a five].”

Customer: “Well, here is my hundred.”

Me: “I’m sorry. I don’t have change for a hundred.”

(He continued to stand there staring blankly at me for a few minutes, holding up the next customers I was trying to serve, before walking out in a huff.)

In A Rush To Make A Fool Of Himself

, , , , | Friendly | February 1, 2018

(I am standing in line at a fast food place that recently started taking contactless payment. My student card, thanks to my university’s contacts, is able to make such payments, so I usually have it on me. Suddenly, a well-dressed man cuts in front of me just before I can make my order at the cashier. Being a quiet person, I simply wave off the cashier who wants to serve me first instead of the man. There is no one else behind me, because it is after the lunch rush. The man, without an apology, rattles off his order and makes sure to mention that he is “in a rush.” Yet, when it comes time to pay, he discovers that he does not have enough paper and metal currency to pay for his meal upgrades. Irritated and mildly ashamed, he steps to the waiting line next to him. I step up to the cashier.)

Me: “Afternoon! I would like set six, no upsize.”

Cashier: “That will be $7.99, miss.”

Me: *holds up student card*

(To the man’s surprise, I only had to pay with a tap of my card, and quickly joined him. He kept his head down as I waited patiently behind him, noticing how the cashier had a big smile and was trying to hide her amusement. The man’s order came, and he quickly rushed out of the restaurant, forgetting his fries and sauces. Since he didn’t come back by the time my order arrived, the cashier placed my order on his tray, with a meal coupon tucked under my burger. Hope he reached his work on time.)

No Penny Is Worth These Thoughts

, , , , , | Right | January 31, 2018

(In Canada we recently got rid of the penny. We round up or down for cash transactions. A customer comes up and orders a medium coffee refill and a muffin.)

Me: *$2.86 shows up on screen* “That’ll be $2.85.”

Customer: “It’s normally $2.75.”

Me: “You asked for a medium refill, correct?”

Customer: “Yes, it’s $2.75.”

Me: “Well, on my till it’s coming up as $2.85, and as far as I’m aware, that’s the price it’s always been.”

Customer: “I ALWAYS PAY $2.75!”

(Not wanting to argue, I charge her for a small refill, thus making her total $2.76.)

Me: “That’ll be $2.75.”

Customer: “IT’S NORMALLY $2.75!”

Me: “Yes.”


Me: *stunned silence*

Customer: “FINE!” *throws cash at me and runs away*

Me: *to my coworker* “Did that lady just get angry over a penny she wasn’t even being charged for?”

Not Banking On That Pharmacy

, , , | Right | January 31, 2018

(I work in a regional pharmacy and convenience store chain. One of the services we offer is check cashing, but with a hefty fee, since we are not a bank. The minimum fee is $3, and it shifts to 2% of the check for any amount over $150. The fee is automatically deducted from the check total, and we give the customer the difference. A woman comes in on a Sunday afternoon, demanding we cash her check. Instead of going to customer service, she heads to the pharmacy counter and tries to give them her check. The head pharmacist calls down to me that I will have a customer soon.)

Me: “Hello! You want a check cashed?”

(The customer, an elderly woman, pushes the check at me with a humph.)

Customer: “Yes, that one. My daughter is in town from DC, and I have to take her out to dinner.”

Me: *punching in the check total to get the fee amount* “All right, the fee for check cashing is 2% of the check, so for $259.50, it’s going to be a $5.19 fee.”

Customer: “You’re kidding! Well! This is the last time I do this; I’m pulling out all my prescriptions!”

Me: *thinking that’s a weird knee-jerk reaction* “Okay. Did you still want to cash this check?”

Customer: “Well, yes! I have to take my daughter out to dinner! She came up here from DC! This is ridiculous; I want to talk to a manager! You don’t do this to loyal customers. I’m going to pull out all my prescriptions, and I have a lot!”

(I page the manager while she fumes, repeatedly going back to her prescriptions and how she is going to take them all out first thing tomorrow morning. The manager walks in, and she starts berating him, too.)

Customer: “I have been a customer here for years. You don’t charge loyal customers $5 for cashing checks! I’m going to pull out my prescriptions!”

Manager: “That’s not our fee; the check cashing company sets that. It’s the fee they charge for using their services.”

(The customer humphs for a bit while the manager goes through the procedure, which is tedious and done on a separate machine. She goes silent for a moment before perking back up, turning to me while pointing at the manager.)

Customer: “No! Who’s above him? Who’s the highest manager?!”

Manager: “The store manager.”

Customer: “And who is that?”

Me: “[Store Manager].”

Customer: “Is he here?”

Me: “No.”

Customer: “Is he here tomorrow?!”

Manager: “Yes, [Store Manager] will be in tomorrow.”

Customer: “Good! I’m going to get my money back and pull out all my prescriptions!”

(We hand her the keypad to put in her social security number, and she acts like it’s the most complex device she’s ever used. It’s a nine-digit keypad with a green button and a red button. All you have to do is type the number, hit the green button, type the number again for confirmation, and hit the green button again. It takes a lot of prodding, interspersed with, “What do I do now?!” We also have to key in her driver’s license, the confirmation code from the receipt, the state, the day of the transaction, and so forth.)

Customer: “Why is this taking so long?!

Me: “It’s a process. We have to go through extra steps and security, since we aren’t a bank.”

Customer: “Well, who do I talk to about pulling out my prescriptions?”

Me: “The pharmacy.”

(She goes strangely quiet after that, letting us complete the transaction with minor grumbling. I count out the amount of the check, minus the fee, making sure I am on camera as I do. I proceed to lay it flat on the counter to show her while I count it again, but she snatches it from me.)

Customer: “No! I’ll count it! I can’t wait to come in tomorrow and talk to your manager! I’m going to pull out all my prescriptions!”

(She finally takes her money and storms off. The head pharmacist pokes his head in.)

Pharmacist: “So, how’d that go?”

(I relay the whole story and he just laughs, shaking his head. He goes on to tell me how she’s been a chronic pain in the pharmacy’s neck for years.)

Pharmacist: “She always says that. If I had a dollar for every time she threatened to pull out her prescriptions, I’d be a lot closer to retirement.”

Giving You Side-Eye

, , , , , | Right | January 30, 2018

(I work at a sit-down restaurant, but it is well known that we do to-go orders over the phone and at the cashier’s desk. For to-go orders, we charge a $0.35 fee. This fee is meant to pay for the chips and salsa you receive automatically with your order and the containers we use to put the food in. The customer in question is ordering in place of a regular who always orders the same thing. The regular has never had this issue.)

Customer: “Did somebody call in an order? I’m picking it up for my son.”

Me: “Oh, I can take care of that over here.”

(I walk from the hostess desk and escort the customer to the front. The customer produces one of our paper to-go menus and opens it to a section that has been written on.)

Customer: “He comes in almost every day for this.” *points to menu item* “I swear, he could live on the stuff.”

(I immediately recognize the order and put it in the computer. Some of our menu items are supposed to only come with one of two sides, but we serve it with both. This order contains one such item.)

Customer: “He usually gets both sides.”

Me: “I was just about to ask you that. Some of the items on the menu say they’re only supposed to come with one or the other, but we serve it with both. If you don’t mind, I’d like to go make sure this is going to come with both sides. I don’t want to charge you an extra $2 for a side you’re already getting.”

(The customer smiles, thanks me, and lets me go. I’m back a few seconds later with the news that she’s getting both sides, and therefore, I don’t need to charge her extra. Shortly after I read her the price, one of my coworkers shows up at the desk and listens to our conversation.)

Customer: “That can’t possibly be right, because I know it’s not $2 in tax.”

Me: “Well, part of it is from the $0.35 to-go fee, which is to pay for the chips and the bins they put the food in. So, tax would be on [price of food plus fee].”

Customer: “No, [price for food without fee]!” *jabs finger at the menu*

Me: “Yes, ma’am, I understand that. But, like I said earlier, your total includes the $0.35.”

Customer: *throws hands in the air* “I shouldn’t have to pay you guys just to get the food to me! If you were delivering, I could understand it.”

(This conversation continues for about another two minutes, with the customer getting more and more agitated.)

Customer: “Now, look. I’m about the only person he trusts with this card. And he doesn’t remember the numbers, or any of that kind of thing.”

Me: “Yes, ma’am. I remember he said he had a few strokes a while ago.”

(I don’t remember now exactly what she says, but the customer continues trying to haggle over the $0.35. Exasperated, I give in just to get her to let it go.)

Me: “Would you like me to take it off?”

Customer: *looks at me like I’m stupid, responding in a condescending tone* “Well, it would help him.”

(The customer paid and then left after her food was given to her, but not before complaining about her hip needing to be replaced and a number of other unrelated things. My coworker was just as flabbergasted as I was.)

This story is part of our Hagglers roundup.

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