Can’t Vouch(er) For Your Education

, , , , , | Right | November 28, 2017

(I’m waiting in line behind a customer being served. She presents two sale vouchers to the cashier.)

Cashier: “Are you certain you would like to use these? It will cost more if—”

Customer: “I’ve already done the counting and double-checked. I know exactly what it will cost me. You people don’t know how to do maths; you let the machines do it for you.”

(The customer then goes on a tirade about how she is an Oxford graduate and how the cashier is potentially the stupidest person on the planet. She then goes through each item she is buying, applying the discounts the vouchers offer. The cashier, all the while, stands with the straightest face I’ve ever seen. After the customer finishes, she shrugs her shoulders and applies the vouchers.)

Cashier: “£69.40, please.”

Customer: “What? No. You did it wrong. It’s supposed to be £45.90. Here; I’ll go through it again, and keep up this time. You—”

Cashier: “I think it would be kinder to everyone else waiting if I simply draw your attention to the disclaimer at the bottom of the vouchers.”

Customer: “I read the entire thing, front and back.”

Cashier: “Clearly, reading isn’t your strong point, because in order to put these vouchers through, I had to cancel the sale prices and put everything through at full price.”

Customer: “No, you’re wrong. You see, I’m an Oxford graduate, and—”

Cashier: “I graduated with a doctorate from Oxford three years ago, so your credentials mean absolutely nothing, as far as I’m concerned.”

Customer: “You lying b****! If you’re from Oxford, why are you working in a shop?”

Cashier: “That’s certainly none of your business, but if it gets you out of here sooner: my mum owns the store, and I’m helping out while she has surgery.”

(With nothing else to go on, the customer stands there for a few seconds before running out of the building.)

Cashier: “Miss, please don’t forget your vouchers!”

(She didn’t turn back.)

Your Credit Is In A (Hot)Spot Of Bother

, , , , , , , | Right | November 28, 2017

(I am a supervisor with 20 employees under my charge. We handle cellular service billing questions. When the situation arises, I take their escalated calls. This particular customer needs a credit for some overage charges, and by policy doesn’t rate a credit.)

Me: “Thank you for calling. My name is [My Name] and I’m a supervisor for [Company].”

Customer: “Yeah, I need my overages credited this instant. I never used this much data before, and I need it credited.”

(The customer has a significant amount of overage that is more than I make every two weeks.)

Me: “I will gladly take a look at the account and see what’s causing the overage.”

Customer: “Yeah, you better! I’m not paying for this!”

Me: “Sir, I can definitely understand the frustration. If you just give me a second…”

(I bring up the customer’s account, look over every detail, and notice he has his phone set as a mobile hotspot, meaning he is using his phone as a Wi-Fi router.)

Me: “Okay, sir, I notice you have your hotspot turned on.”

Customer: “Yeah, I know. I know it’s protected; no one is stealing my data. Just tell me why I’m going over and credit it.”

Me: “I can not credit it unless it’s a malfunction with the phone or feature. I’d like to ask a couple of questions.”

(The customer at this point is sighing, and I see that his data usage is rising.)

Customer: “FINE! Ask all the f****** questions you need!”

Me: “What do you use your hotspot for?”

Customer: “Xbox. I use it to play games online. What else should I use it for?”

Me: “Wait, what?”

Customer: “I use it to game online, and Netflix.”

Me: “So, I found the problem. You’re using it for Xbox, which will eat up the data like PacMan eats pellets, and because of that, I will not credit the overage.”

Customer: “WHAT THE F*** DO YOU MEAN YOU CAN’T CREDIT THE OVERAGE?! HOW THE F*** AM I GOING TO PAY FOR THIS?! FINE! I WON’T PAY MY BILL!”

Me: “Well, then, sir, it will go into collections, and ruin your credit.”

Customer: “I DON’T F****** CARE! I’M RICH! DO YOU HEAR ME?!”

Me: “Then you shouldn’t have a problem paying it.”

Customer: “I NEED TO FIX THIS! WHO CAN FIX THIS AND GIVE ME MY CREDIT?!”

(At this point I’m getting really annoyed at the customer, and just want the call to end.)

Me: “Microsoft.”

(At this point the customer knew they weren’t getting the credit and hung up the phone.)

Trying To Get A Cheap Room Is A Team Effort

, , , , , , | Right | November 27, 2017

(A man calls the hotel. He is obviously inebriated.)

Caller: “Yeah, what is the cheapest room you guys have?”

Me: “That would be our standard room with one bed, and that is currently going for $106 per night.”

Caller: “What?! Why the h*** is it so expensive?! I just had a room with you guys and I only paid $62, and that was for a larger room for two nights? What the h***?”

Me: “$62? That doesn’t sound like anything we offer here, and we haven’t changed our prices in nearly three years. When did you stay last?”

(He gives me the date and his full name. I pull up the reservations and verify the price.)

Me: “So, you stayed here on [dates] in a room with two queen-sized beds, for four people; is that correct?”

Caller: “Yes, that’s me.”

Me: “And you paid cash and debit?”

Caller: “Yes. No, I only paid cash, no debit, and it was $62 all together.”

Me: “Well, let’s see, your address is [address]?”

Caller: “Yeah! That’s me! It was $62 for the two nights, right?”

Me: “Actually, sir, it says here you paid $109 plus tax, and you paid a combination of cash and debit for a total of just under $250.”

Caller: “Okay, yeah, but you guys gave me a discount because there were teams there and they were making noise.”

Me: “I’m looking at your bill, sir, and there was no discount applied anywhere. Even if there were, I still couldn’t give you a room at that price. The discount wouldn’t apply.”

Caller: “Well, are there any teams coming in this week? If there’s a team I can get it for $62, right?”

Me: “Sir, we don’t offer discounts just because we have teams staying here; that’s not how we do business.”

Caller: “Well, what the f***?! You guys don’t believe in courtesy and comfort? How the h*** can people sleep when there are teams there, playing in the halls and making noise? I can’t sleep when you have teams in, so I should get a discount. That’s f***ed up!”

Me: “First of all, if we had people playing in the halls and making noise we would kick them out; we would not allow them to disrupt our guests and then just offer a discount for the inconvenience of not being able to sleep. That would be ridiculous. Second, we’ve never, in seven years that I’ve worked here, had a hockey team behave in that way. In fact, we pride ourselves in the fact that we work so closely with these teams, and they are nothing but kind and courteous. Third, if you know, as you claim, that you can’t get any sleep here when we have teams, why would you specifically ask for a room on a night when we have a team in? That makes no sense. In any event, the room is $106 plus tax per night, breakfast included. If you want a room, I will happily rent to you at this price, but I have to ask that you sober up a little before you come to check in; we have many guests in tonight and I wouldn’t want to disturb anybody.”

Caller: “You’re f****** crazy, b****! This is a s*** town for losers to live in. I can get a suite in [Big City four hours away] for $30, tax included!”

Me: “Really? Because I was there a couple months ago, and the cheapest rooms were the dingy road-side motels that were going for $89.”

Caller: “Okay, yeah, I lied. Just give me a f****** room; it’s my girlfriend’s birthday.”

Me: “Sir, based on your behavior during this call, I will not be renting to you this evening. I suggest you try the truck stop motel across the bridge; they are the only other place in the area that charges less than us, and they have a bar and restaurant on site with security. You might be more comfortable there. Have a good night.”

(I hang up, message my boss to tell her about it and she tells me I did the right thing. An hour later, a well-dressed woman in an expensive luxury car pulls up. As I’m getting her information, I realize that the address is really familiar.)

Me: “Um, I’m sorry, but are you in any way related to [Caller]?”

Customer: “Yes! He’s my boyfriend. I think he spoke to you earlier, correct?”

Me: “Um, yes, he did, and honestly, after that, my boss and I are not comfortable renting to him.”

Customer: “You see, this is how it is. My boyfriend is full of s***. Last time we were here, I paid for the room myself on my debit and covered the rest in cash. We were here with another couple, and at the end I split the final bill between the four of us, and he paid me back his share, which was $62. He got it in his drunken little head that the room only cost $62 for the two nights. When he finally got off the phone, I told him he was an idiot; that’s why he’s sitting in the car waiting for me instead of standing here beside me.”

Me: “Oh… well, okay, then. I guess I can rent to you, but I do need a cash deposit, and I need your word that there won’t be any problems tonight. If there are, my boss will have my head tomorrow.”

Customer: “I promise that there will be no issues. We have three kids, and it’s impossible to get any time alone for whoopee, you know? This is like a treat for us. I’ll keep him busy for you; no worries there, hun.” *winks*

(I ended up renting them the room for two nights, and there were no issues, but the man refused to make eye contact with me for the duration of their stay.)

Don’t Discount The Power Of Charity, Part 2

, , , , , , | Hopeless | November 24, 2017

Me: “Would you like to add a donation to [Charity] on to your purchase today?”

Customer: “Sure, why the heck not?”

Me: “How much would you like to donate today?”

Customer: “Let’s do five dollars.”

Me: “Oh, that’s wonderful! On behalf of [Retailer] and [Charity], I would like to thank you for your generous contribution today, sir!”

Customer: “What the h*** was that?”

Me: “I don’t follow, sir.”

Customer: “Can the sarcasm, buddy. I know five dollars isn’t much, but you didn’t have to make a scene over it!”

Me: *cluing in* “Oh, no, sir, that’s not what I was trying to do. No lie, I am genuinely grateful for your contribution. I may have overdone it a little because your donation is technically the biggest I’ve seen.”

Customer: *visibly calmer* “Oh… How much do other shoppers usually donate?”

Me: “They usually don’t donate at all, or at most one dollar with a lot of reluctance.”

Customer: “Is that so? All right, put me down for five more dollars.”

Me: “Yes, sir!”

 

Related:

Don’t Discount The Power Of Charity

This Is Why We’re In A Recession: The Next Generation

, , , , , | Right | November 24, 2017

(I work at a call center for a major credit card company, assisting callers with inquiries and payments. Most calls are pretty routine, but there are some that are not so run-of-the-mill. This is one that has stayed with me for years.)

Me: “Thank you for calling [Company]. How can I assist you today?”

Caller: “I need to pay off a card and close it.”

Me: “I’d be glad to take payment and assist you. May I ask the reason for closing the account?”

Caller: “You are bankrupting me! I can’t afford to keep paying the card! Every month, the bill is higher!”

Me: “The bill is directly associated with the charges made; are you aware of any fraudulent transactions?”

Caller: “The only fraud is that whenever you cancel my son’s card, he reapplies, and you give him another with a higher credit line!”

Me: “So, you are calling about your son’s account, not your own; is that correct?”

Caller: “Yes, and you need to close it and not give him another! I can’t afford to keep paying his bills!”

Me: “Ma’am, are you an authorized party on the card?”

Customer: “No, but I make all the payments and that should be authorization enough! How much do I owe to pay off the card and close it?”

Me: “I can take a payment against the balance for the amount you specify, but you don’t owe anything; your son does. Due to privacy and banking laws, I won’t be able to tell you the balance or close the card.”

(The caller chews me out for not helping. For the last 20 years she has been paying all her son’s debt, as he is not willing to take any personal responsibility. It is determined that her son is about 40 years old and supposedly has a job that pays well. He has at least one more card with high limits that he routinely uses for large charges; the caller also has been paying these, and has tried to cancel the card. She recently bought him a new truck — not used, because “a new one is so much better” — paid for damaged property because he’d wrapped his old pickup around a tree after a late night out, bailed him out of jail after he was arrested for DWI, leaving the scene, and not having insurance, paid his resulting penalties and fines, and started paying for his auto insurance so he wouldn’t lose his driver’s license.)

Me: “Your son is able to get cards with such high limits because you have paid all his bills, which means his credit score has not suffered. You are not responsible for your son’s debt. I’m not an expert by any means, but it’s evident to me that your son is taking advantage of your willingness to bail him out of any and all situations. Unless you stop paying and allow him to fail, the situation will not get any better. [Company] is not any more responsible for your financial situation than is the tree that your son hit with his truck.

Caller: “But if I stop paying, it would ruin his credit, and he could go back to jail!”

(I felt bad for her, but really, lady, get a clue!)

Page 3/3312345...Last
« Previous
Next »