Slowly Getting It, One Quarter At A Time

, , , , , , | Working | October 4, 2017

(I have just ordered a meal at a fast food restaurant, and my bill comes to $4.15. I have a $5 bill and I do not want a fist full of change, so I offer the cashier a quarter and the five. She looks at me blankly.)

Cashier: “That’s too much. I just need the five.”

Me: “Can you just give me the change?”

Cashier: “I can give you change for the five. I don’t need the quarter.”

Me: “I really don’t want all that change, if you don’t mind.”

Cashier: “Uh, I don’t know if I can do that.”

Me: “Just give me a dollar and a dime.”

Cashier: “I’ll have to check with the manager about this. It doesn’t look right.”

(Summons the manager.)

Manager: “What’s the problem?”

Me: “The bill is $4.15. I gave the cashier $5.25, but she doesn’t know how to make change for it.”

Manager: “We just need the five. You get 85 cents change.”

Me: “I’d prefer to not have all that change. Just give me a dollar and a dime.”

Manager: “Listen, bud. We get scammers in here all the time. If you don’t want to pay, I’ll call the cops.”

Me: *surrenders* “That won’t be necessary. I’ll just take the change.”

Manager: “Ring him up.”

(I give the cashier $5, she gives me three quarters and a dime change. I pocket the dime and pull out my quarter.)

Me: “Can I get a dollar bill for these four quarters?”

Manager: “Sure! We can always use the quarters!”

Tipped To Have Some Taxing Customers

, , , , | Right | October 2, 2017

(I am a customer at a restaurant. I am paying with gift cards.)

Server: “And if you choose to tip me using the gift card—”

Me: “Sorry, I only tip with cash.”

Server: *joking* “Oh, darn! And I have to report it for taxes.”

Me: *joking back* “Well, I guess that’s just your problem now, isn’t it?”

(At this point, a nosy old woman at the next table interjects:)

Customer: “That’s terrible! How could you? This young woman needs her tips.”

Server: “It’s all right, ma’am. I actually like cash tips.”

Customer: “It’s not all right. I demand to see your manager now!”

(Despite the server’s attempts to convince the woman that a cash tip is okay, she is forced to call the manager. The poor manager spends several minutes trying to convince the woman that I can, in fact, leave a cash tip, and that the server will like it.)

Customer: *to me as I am leaving* “I hope you’re proud of yourself! If she has trouble on her taxes, it will be all your fault. You are going to Hell!”

POP Goes Your Mooching Plans

, , , , , | Right | October 2, 2017

(Our library has a soda machine in the lobby to generate extra revenue. It’s been popular with patrons, especially the after-school crowd. My coworker is at her desk in the children’s room when this exchange happens.)

Girl #1: “I don’t have enough money for the pop machine.”

Coworker: “Oh, gee, I’m sorry!”

Girl #1: “I’m just a quarter short.”

Coworker: “That’s too bad, isn’t it?”

Girl #1: “I sure would love a pop, but I just need one more quarter!”

Coworker: *realizing the girl’s trying to mooch a quarter* “Well, maybe tomorrow you can remember to bring enough change.”

Girl #1: “But I want a pop now!”

(Meanwhile the girl at the front desk was much more direct.)

Girl #2: “Can I have a dollar to get a [Soda]?”

Me: “We don’t give out money here. Sorry.”

Girl #2: *huffs and stomps off*

Found Yourself A True Renaissance Man

, , , , , , | Romantic | September 27, 2017

(This is the second year I’ve gone to the local Renaissance fair with my boyfriend, and the first year I’ve had any kind of money to spend, so I’m quite eager to head to one of the major costume shops along the main street. The capes from this shop are STUNNING, and I have been wanting one for years, so I’ve made sure I’ve got what I think is enough money to buy one. I drag my boyfriend over to the stall to look over which ones he thinks look best on me.)

Me: “Excuse me, how much are these emerald cloaks over here?”

Shop Lady: “Oh, the unpainted ones are [price way higher than I expected], but if you want one of the painted ones, it’s [higher price].”

Me: *heart sinking a good bit* “Oh, okay. Thanks!” *I sigh and whisper to my boyfriend* “Oh, well. I can always get it next year.”

Boyfriend: *smiling as he squeezes my hand* “You sure? I can lend you the money or something.”

Me: *awkwardly blushing, wondering if it sounded like I was guilt-tripping him to pay* “Nah, it’s fine; I don’t need it, and I don’t know when I could pay you back. Thank you so much for offering, though. It means a lot to me.”

(I go back to admiring the painted capes, making sure I knew which cape I’d want the next year when I could get one for myself. My boyfriend excuses himself for a moment and one of the shopkeepers chats with me for a bit. Next thing I know, my boyfriend is back with one of the bags the store puts purchases in. I stare at him for a moment before it clicks.)

Me: “Did you…?”

Boyfriend: *with a smile that I swear lit up the whole park as he hands me the bag* “Don’t worry about paying me back. Consider it a two-week-early birthday present.”

(I’m ready to cry, I am so touched! My whole face warms up as I blush, and I can’t stop grinning. He takes my hand and gives it a gentle kiss, looking at me adorably.)

Shop Lady: *winks* “Just so you know, those capes are waterproof if you ever wanna wear yours after a shower. Say, after he’s gotten home and you’ve got nothing else to greet him in…”

(Now it was his turn to blush as I giggled uncontrollably.)

It Literally Pays To Be Nice

, , , , , | Right | September 27, 2017

(I’m working customer service for a well-known bank when a young woman in her late teens or early twenties approaches my desk.)

Customer: “I’d like to see about getting overdraft fees removed from my account, please.”

(These types of transactions rarely go well. The customer is almost always angry and agitated, and I’ve been instructed to not write off legitimate overdraft charges unless there’s a really good reason. I’m allowed to use discretion, but if I do it more than once in a great while, I get in trouble. I steel myself for a tense interaction with this customer.)

Me: “Let me see here. It looks as if these overdraft charges are valid. You overdrew your account by [amount #1] on Thursday morning, and then made four more purchases over the next few days totaling [amount #2]. The $175 in overdraft fees you incurred are valid, and I can’t delete them. I could enroll you in overdraft protection though, so you won’t need to worry about this scenario again.”

Customer: “I’d like that, please. To be honest, I know this is my fault. I should have been more careful with my money, and I wasn’t keeping track of what was in my account. The blame is on me. I just figured it wouldn’t hurt to try to get these charges removed. Can you tell me how to enroll in overdraft protection?”

Me: *flabbergasted* “Wow. You’re the first customer in years to take full responsibility for an overdraft charge. I’ll take care of this for you, and delete the charges. Thanks for being so nice!”

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