A Fee-ble Excuse For A Refund

, , , | Working | June 13, 2017

(I’m on the phone with a major airline trying to pay for my son’s infant-in-arms ticket. The website let me add his ticket but not pay for it and I know from prior experience that I need to brave customer service and call in. Then, after a lot of holding and back and forth… this happens:)

Representative: “Okay, so there are two fare options on that ticket: $87, which is non-refundable and can’t be changed or $99, which can be changed with the applicable change fee and is our recommended ticket.”

Me: “That’s not bad. How much is the change fee on this kind of ticket?”

Representative: “$200.”

Me: “…I’ll do the $87 ticket.”

Representative: “But it can’t be changed. You’ll lose the full amount if you change plans. If you get the $99 ticket, you can change the ticket and just pay the change fee.”

Me: “Which is $200, yes?”

Representative: “Yes, ma’am.”

(Silently banging my head against the wall and fearing for humanity…)

Me: “I’ll take the $87 ticket.”

Night Of The Entitled Dead

, , , , | Right | June 12, 2017

(I work for a complaints department in an insurance company. The caller stopped paying their life insurance premiums and understandably (you’d think), his policy was cancelled. He contacted us a few years later.)

Customer: “But how could you have cancelled the policy? You owe me £3,000!”

Me: “That’s the amount of cover you had on the policy. Because the premiums haven’t been paid, the policy has lapsed and you’re no longer covered. Because it was life insurance, it would only have paid out that amount on your death.”

Customer: “How DARE you tell me I’m not dead! I demand you pay me MY money IMMEDIATELY!”

You Get It’s For Security But You Really Don’t

, , , , | Right | June 12, 2017

(A customer is buying $100 in gift cards to a couple different stores and restaurants. It is company policy that a manager must verify any credit card used to purchase gift cards with photo ID.)

Me: “That will be $100.00. And how are you paying today?”

Customer: “Credit card.”

Me: “All right, I just need my supervisor to verify the transaction.” *calls supervisor over*

(My supervisor verifies her card with ID and the customer pays silently. After the payment goes through, the customer speaks up.)

Customer: “Why do you have to check my ID?! I mean, what if it was really busy? They trust you with cash so why don’t you just do the sale? This is so inconvenient.”

Me: “I apologize, but it is company policy that  a supervisor must verify your credit card with ID to prevent credit card theft. We’ve had stolen credit cards used here in the past.”

Customer: “I get that it’s for security, but, like, this is so inconvenient!” *storms off*

Getting Just For Desserts

, , , , | Working | June 12, 2017

(It is many years ago, when debit/credit cards are not used nearly as much as nowadays, and nearly all transactions are in cash. My wife and I are on vacation and have stopped between home and our destination for lunch. We have eaten at the buffet, and I am standing in line to check out. I noticed someone, who looks like a manager, running the register when we came in. He is still at the checkout desk, but he is taking the tickets at a small cashbox and making change from it. I think this is a little strange, during the rush hour with about 5-10 people in the checkout line all the time, but figure it is none of my business. After waiting in line for a few minutes, I come to the front.)

Manager: “How was your meal?”

Me: “Fine, thank you.”

Manager: “Great! Your ticket is [amount].”

Me: *handing him a twenty* “Here you go.”

(The manager takes the money, makes my change from the cashbox, and spikes my ticket on a different spike than the one next to the register, but again I’m thinking “Not my problem.”)

Manager: “Here is your change, and come again!”

Me: “Thanks!”

(I move aside so he can serve the next customer. This is a rather un-assuming fortyish man, wearing a suit, and who looks like your average accountant or middle-level manager.)

Manager: “And how was your meal, sir?”

Customer: “Fine!” *hands over cash and ticket*

(The manager makes change from the cash box, spikes ticket on the spike not at the cash register, which has several tickets spiked but nowhere near as many as the one next to the cashbox, and hands the change over to the man:)

Manager: “Here is your change, and thank you. Come again!”

(Customer takes his change, puts it in his wallet, opens his suit jacket and places his wallet in an inner pocket, and pulls out a small leather folder which he opens and shows to the manager:)

Customer: “I’m Agent [Customer] of the Georgia Department of Revenue. I need to speak to whoever is in charge today. Right now, please.”

(I have been watching the entire thing, and I involuntarily start, my jaw falls open, and I get a look on my face which evidently says “Busted!” to whoever is watching. The manager looks at the badge the agent is holding out, and deflates like a balloon. The agent turns to look at me, realizing that I have figured out what is going on, and grins a grin that just screams “Some days I just LOVE my job!” I look at him, grin in return, and do my best to make it out the door before bursting out in laughter.)

Wife: “What was that all about?”

Me: “I’ll explain in the car, but I wonder if he or they were skimming just from paying taxes or from the company as well!”

(My wife just looked at me in puzzlement, and I spent the next several miles of our trip explaining how the restaurant was shutting down the register during the busiest part of the day, doing cash only, and keeping the receipts without paying sales tax, while still charging it to their customers. Either someone reported them, or they just had the bad luck of a revenue agent eating lunch there and catching them red-handed!)

Expand Your Mind, But Not Your Wallet

, , , , | Friendly | June 10, 2017

(I’m in one of the social areas of a large scale online RPG. Out of the blue I get a request from a random player who just runs up to me.)

Player: “Hey, I see you’re wearing some gear from [Area in Expansion Pack #1]. Interested in doing a raid there together?”

Me: “Sure. I need to go back there and grab some additional stuff anyway.”

(We team up to do the raid; however, when I click on the given area, the game throws up an error message saying one or more members of my party doesn’t have the necessary expansion pack.)

Me: “Uh, there seems to be something wrong. Do you have [Expansion Pack #1]?”

Player: “Oh, no. Do I need it?”

Me: “Yeah, kinda?”

Player: “Sorry. Okay, what about a raid in [Expansion Pack #2 Area]?”

(I set up the raid, and get the same error message.)

Me: “Do you have the pack for that area?”

Player: “No, I don’t. Let’s try [Expansion Pack #3 Area].”

Me: “Wait. First, how much of the game content do you have?”

Player: “Just the base game.”

Me: “Well, you’re not going to be able to go to any of these areas without the packs that add them.”

Player: “But I’m in your party and you have the expansion packs! Won’t that allow me to bypass that? I don’t want to have to pay more to get the new loot!”

(I tried to explain that no, you can’t go to areas that you don’t have the content for installed on your computer, and joining up with someone else who does will not allow you to sidestep the issue. He then left my party and I later saw him complaining on the forums about how no one would let him do a raid with them in the areas for which he adamantly refused to buy and install the needed content.)

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