Keep The Change, However Much It Is

, , , , , , | Right | July 22, 2018

(One afternoon a customer walks in and orders a $3 item. He pays with a $5 bill and the coins needed to get a flat amount back. Before I can give him his change, he pulls three $1s out of his pocket.)

Customer: “I just realized I had these extra dollars on me. Think I could give you these then you could give me a $5 back?”

Me: “Not a problem.” *completes the transaction* “You know, this kind of looks like you spent $3, only to be given $5 and a drink.”

Customer: “What? How? Explain this to me.”

Me: “Ignoring the coins, your order was $3. You gave me $5, for $2 change. Then you handed me $3 so I combined them—”

Customer: “And I got my $5 back.”

Me: “And you got your $5 back.”

Customer: *laughs* “Okay. Tell me that one more time.”

(We ended up repeating this conversation three more times, the customer laughing harder each repeat. In the end, he thought it was amusing enough to let me keep the change!)

No Agency To Pay Until It’s With An Agency

, , , , , | Right | July 19, 2018

(I’m in accounts receivable, and my company has been back and forth with a customer for several months about $20,000 they owe us. After months of broken promises about payments, we put their company on hold, meaning they can no longer place orders with us until they start paying. Two months later, still no payment, so I reach out one more time before sending their case to a collection agency.)

Me: “Hi. I’m [My Name] from [My Company], and I’m looking to speak to [Owner] about—”

Owner: *enraged* “Oh, I know who you are! Listen, [Their Company] is no longer buying from you! Say goodbye to our business! Is this how you treat long-time customers? You cut us off two months ago with no warning or explanation as to why, and now you’ve come crawling back to beg for our business? You’ve got some nerve!”

(While he is ranting, I pull up his case notes, where we’ve documented every interaction regarding their $20,000 balance.)

Me: *cutting in* “I’m very sorry you feel that way, [Owner], but we have actually spoken with you every month for the last seven months about a $20,000 balance on your account. Just this year, you spoke to [Colleague #1] in January, and [Colleague #2] in February. You and I actually spoke three weeks ago, where you personally promised me a check was going in the mail towards the balance that afternoon. This was a courtesy call to let you know that, unless we receive a payment toward your balance by the end of the week, we will forward your case to a collection agency.”

(Maybe twenty seconds of silence.)

Owner: “How much can I put on a credit card?”

Not Billed To Be The Next Great Conman

, , , , | Legal | July 18, 2018

(I am working the cash register when an unknown customer walks up to me.)

Customer: “Hello. I have lots of 10€ notes I’d like to exchange for bigger notes.”

Me: “Sure. We are actually low on 10€ notes today, so that is great! How many did you have?”

(The customer then proceeds to pull a big stack of 10s out of his pocket.)

Me: “Oh, I’m sorry, sir. We don’t actually keep that many big bills in the till. Looks like most I can do for you today is 250€.”

Customer: “Okay, fine.”

(I don’t hand him the money yet. I decide it’s best to keep it safely in the till until I’ve checked his notes. Then he starts to count 25 bills from the stack really fast. After he hands me the bills, I check and count them, and notice he actually gave me 24 bills. When I tell him this, he takes the 24 bills back and starts counting them again, lightning fast.)

Customer: “Oh, I’m sorry, looks like you’re right. Here’s one more.”

(He hands me back the stack of bills, plus one more from his pocket. I’m beyond suspicious at this point, so I start counting them again.)

Customer: *slightly panicked* “No, no, you don’t have to do that. You just counted them already!”

Me: “Errm, I’m kind of glad I did. Instead of 24 or 25 bills, there’s 16 now…”

(At this, he snatched the stack of 10s from my hands and ran out of the store. I closed my lane and went to tell the manager. My manager and a few department supervisors checked the surveillance footage of the camera pointed at my till after that. They actually had to play it at a three-times lower speed before they could see at what point he had taken part of the stack and hidden it up his sleeve. Turned out he had done this at lots of other supermarkets in the area, too, and had succeeded most of the time! They gave me a gift card for not falling for it!)

This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 79

, , , , , | Right | July 18, 2018

(I work in a single-location clothing boutique, and the credit card chip reading machines aren’t always up and running for smaller businesses. Because of this, we check ID on every credit transaction, no matter the amount.)

Me: “Okay, ma’am, your total is [total].”

Customer: *hands me an unsigned card*

Me: “And would you happen to have your ID on you?”

Customer: *side eyes me, but pulls it out* “W… Why do you need my ID?”

Me: “It’s just our policy, especially if the card is unsigned!”

Customer: *stares blankly*

Me: *trying to make a joke* “I’m just making sure you’re spending your own money!”

Customer: “But… but I’ve had this card since 1986. Why wouldn’t it be my money? You’re supposed to sign your card?”

Me: “Oh, that’s what the little box on the back is for! At any rate, we’d just rather check ID, to make sure you and we are protected.”

Customer: “But it’s my money.”

(She then wandered away, totally confused about how someone who wasn’t her could be using her credit card. Poor lady.)

Related:
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 78
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 77
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 76

Entitlement Bred From Good Intentions

, , , | Right | July 17, 2018

(I’m picking up a coffee with my three-month-old daughter. I’ve noticed the woman in front has had multiple cards declined to pay for her drink. Tired, and with a hungry baby, I offer to pay for her just so I can get my coffee.)

Customer: “I don’t know why your f****** machine won’t take my cards!”

Cashier: “I’m sorry, but it’s not the machine. There’s a cash point outside if you’d like to try there.”

Customer: “No! No, that’s just not going to work! I need my coffee!”

Me: *to cashier* “Excuse me, can I pay for her order? Can I get a black tea, too, please?” *to customer* “Don’t worry. We all have days like this.”

Customer: “Fine. Hurry up, I haven’t got all g**d*** day!”

Cashier: *helpless shrug* “Thanks.”

(I get my drink and sit down to feed my daughter. Barely two minutes later, the customer looms over us.)

Customer: “ I want a cookie.”

Me: “Uh… What?”

Customer: “I wanted a cookie; you need to pay for it.” *gestures to the cash desk where the same cashier is looking embarrassed and helpless*

Me: “Uh, I’m sorry, but I’m feeding at the moment. Besides, the cashier said there’s an ATM outside; try there.”

Customer: “Don’t be such a b****. It’s only £2! Give me your card and I’ll do it myself, if you’re going to be like that!”

Me: “Seriously?! You’re going to swear at me right now whilst I’ve got my t**s out feeding my baby?! You need to back off and enjoy the coffee you never bothered thanking me for in the first place!”

Customer: “Well, there’s no need to be such a b**** about it!” *to cashier* “Aren’t you going to say something about this?!”

Cashier: “No, miss, I’d really better not. You might want to leave before you are removed.”

(The customer stormed out of the coffee shop, barging into an elderly lady in the process and spilling her drink all over the floor. Not a total loss for me, though; the cashier brought me a cookie for free!)

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