Wasn’t Banking On It Being A Holiday

, , , , , | Right | July 25, 2020

When customers pay online for their groceries, they are given an estimated total, our system adds roughly $15 to $20 extra onto that total because of items priced by weight, and the customer is charged the new amount. For example, if they’re given an estimated $100 total, they will be charged $120. Then, when we’re done shopping, we will pull from the amount charged and the difference will be refunded back to their card. If their total was $105, we will take that out of the $120 and they will get $15 back on their card. It usually takes three to five business days for the money to go back onto the card, but we will tell customers five to seven business days just to be safe.

The Friday before Memorial Day, we have a customer who paid online for her grocery order. We pull the amount we need and the process for the refund begins. On Memorial Day — Monday — she calls us.

Customer: “Where’s my money? I placed my order on Friday and the money still hasn’t shown back in my bank account!”

Me: “It usually takes five to seven business days for the money to appear in your account, depending on how fast your bank works.”

Customer: “I’ve never had it take this long before! I need that money!”

Me: “I understand, but it’s also a holiday weekend. The banks aren’t even open today.”

Customer: “I don’t care! It shouldn’t take more than three days! It’s never taken this long before!”

Me: “Business days, ma’am.”

Customer: “Huh?”

Me: “Business days: Mondays through Fridays. But again, because of the holiday, it might take a little longer than normal. If the money isn’t in your account by next Monday, I would call your bank.”

Customer: “So you haven’t even started my refund yet?”

Me: “We released the difference on our end on Friday; your bank just has to approve it. It should take five to seven business days.”

This seemed to satisfy the customer. She never called us back, so I’m assuming the money showed up in her account a few days later. Is there a better way to charge customers for online grocery orders? Probably, but I don’t know anything about IT or programming, so I don’t know how to make it better.

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Would’ve Been Cheaper To Take His Two Cents

, , , , , , | Working | July 24, 2020

This is a story my uncle told me after he decided to switch cell phone carriers due to terrible customer service. He has closed his account and started with a new company; about a month later, he receives a final bill in the mail.

Uncle: “Hi. I have canceled my service with you and just received a bill in the mail for eight cents. I was wondering if you could write that off.”

Agent #1: “No, sir, we expect full payment. If you do not pay the remaining balance, we will charge you a late fee and eventually turn you into collections. I can process the payment over the phone but there will be a $3 service charge, or you can mail a check.”

Uncle: “But it’s eight cents; it will cost more to mail a check than that. Are you sure you can’t just clear out the balance?”

Agent #1: “No, sir, and if we do not receive payment by [date], you will be charged a late fee.”

Uncle: “Okay, I guess I will mail you a check.”

My uncle then mails them a check for sixteen cents and waits for a month to pass when he receives his next bill.

Uncle: “Hi. I just received my bill and I have a credit on my account for eight cents, but since I have closed my account with you I would like a check mailed to me for the remaining balance.”

Agent #2: “But sir, it’s only eight cents; it costs us more to print a check than that, plus the cost to mail it. Could we just close out the account?”

Uncle: “When I called a month ago about just writing off the eight cents I owed, you threatened to charge me a late fee and turn me into collections over eight cents, forcing me to write and mail a check, so no, I will not allow you to just close the account. I want my check for eight cents, and if I don’t receive it, I will file with small claims court and you can pay legal fees on top of it.”

Agent #2: “But it’s only eight cents.”

Uncle: “It was also only eight cents last month when you demanded I pay my bill. I’ll be waiting for my check, thanks. Have a nice day.”

A week later, he received a check in the mail for eight cents, which he happily deposited next time he went to the bank. The company has since gone out of business.

This story is part of our July 2020 Roundup – the best stories of the month!

Read the next July 2020 Roundup story!

Read the July 2020 Roundup!

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A Pay-n In The Backside

, , , , , , , | Working | July 16, 2020

The company I work for uses an outside business to manage payroll. I have worked here for three years now, and it seems like every month there is yet another reason why I can’t believe we still use this payroll company. Here are a few:

I am supposed to get reimbursed for using the parking garage next to our office. I give my boss the receipts and she reports the amount to payroll. Apparently, though, payroll just cannot nail down the difference between a reimbursement and a deduction, because on three or four paychecks now, I have had to tell my boss that the cost of the parking garage had been subtracted from my paycheck instead of added to it so that payroll could reverse it.

I make sure to check my pay stub very carefully every time now because it seems to happen totally sporadically.

Last year, I enrolled in the company health insurance program for the first time, meaning that a certain amount of my paycheck would get automatically deducted every pay period to cover the premium. (Yay, USA!) This was supposed to start happening on April 1st. However, I noticed no difference in pay after my first April paycheck. My mistake here: instead of asking about it right away, I assumed it must be retroactive, meaning I would pay for the month of April starting May 1st.

But then, my first May paycheck came. No difference. I talked to my boss, who contacted payroll, to find out that they had just straight-up forgotten to start deducting it. Since I had still technically been enrolled in health insurance in April, though, I was still on the hook for the premium, meaning that for the rest of the year I had to pay more out of each paycheck to cover the difference.

This past March, our hours were reduced due to the health crisis, which — I believed — would translate to a $400 pay cut each pay period — a bit of a bummer but understandable, and better than being laid off. However, when I received my first paycheck, to my shock, it was over $1,000 less than usual!

Now very worried, as this was nowhere near enough money to live on, I asked my boss if this amount was correct. She seemed just as shocked as I had been and reached out to payroll right away. Lo and behold, when my boss had communicated the hours cut to them, they had totally misinterpreted the number of hours we were supposed to be getting paid for; essentially, we were working [hours] every week, but we were getting paid for working that many hours every two weeks.

A week ago, my boss informed me that I was getting a bonus in my next paycheck to make up a little bit for the hours cut since we had fared better than anticipated during the health crisis. Today — I am writing this in late May — I received my most recent pay stub, which was divided into two separate payments: my regular paycheck and the bonus. Both were paid out on the same day… and both included a deduction for my health insurance, meaning I unwillingly paid twice as much as I was supposed to for health insurance this period.

I wasn’t even upset; I just started laughing. A couple of hours later, on a video call with my boss, I casually said, “Hey, I also have a question about payroll…” and smirked as I watched an expression come over her face that clearly said, “Oh, for God’s sake, what have they done now?”

Maybe this is the final straw that will allow us to find a better company.

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I Got A Hundred Problems And You’re All Of Them

, , , , , | Right | July 16, 2020

I am usually the person who closes, so I tend to get a lot of crazy people. The day has been rather slow and I end up getting slammed. I am not supposed to have more than a certain amount in my drawer, usually LESS than a hundred dollars. A customer holds out a $100 bill.

Customer: “Can I get five twenties for this?”

I already know I do not have five twenties or enough change in my drawer to break it.

Me: “I am sorry, but I can’t break a hundred right now.”

Customer: “Seriously?! You don’t have five twenties?!”

Me: “No, sir.”

Customer:Really? You don’t have five twenties?!”

Cue five minutes of me repeatedly telling the man I can’t break it. The customer places a pack of gum on the counter and holds out the hundred.

Me: “I still can’t break it.”

He grabs four sodas.

Customer: “Fine! How about now?!”

I sigh, because the gum and four sodas are only around $8.

Me: “I still can’t break it, sir.”

Customer: “What the f***? Then what do you do if the customer only has a hundred?!”

Me: “They can—”

He cuts me off before I can tell him.

Customer: “You know what?! Never mind!”

He starts to storm out but stops at the door.

Customer: “What’s your name again?!”

Me: “It is [My Name].”

Customer: “Well! You will be hearing from me again!”

He storms out to his car.

Next Customers: “He was a jacka**.”

This happened two weeks ago. I have not heard from him since or anything from corporate. If he did complain, he probably got laughed at, or someone told him he was an idiot for trying to break a hundred dollar bill at a SMALL gas station.

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A Different Kind Of Cash-Flow Problem

, , , , , | Right | July 16, 2020

We’re required to sell service plans. We’re in a call center so there’s no face-to-face contact with customers.

Coworker: “So, [Service Plan] will be [total].”

He pauses for a moment and then puts the phone on mute.

Coworker: “Yo, this dude just asked if he can pay cash.”

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