A Sterling Example Of Culture Shock

, , , , | Right | January 29, 2019

(I’m the idiot customer in this story. When I am 18, my dad takes me to Scotland for a vacation. While there I decide I want a kilt because they look awesome. We go into a clothing store.)

Me: *looking through a rack of tartan skirts on hangers* “How much are these kilts?”

Sales Lady: *looking at me like I’m insane* “I’m sorry, sir… but those are ladies’ kilts.”

Me: *confused* “But… what’s the difference?”

Sales Lady: “Ladies may buy their tartans off the rack if they choose, but gentleman’s kilts are always custom-tailored. You choose your tartan pattern and have a fitting, and then a tailor makes it for you. It usually takes several weeks, and 100 or 150 pounds.”

Me: *amazed* “150 pounds of wool?!”

Sales Lady: *disgusted with this ignorant American* “No, sir. 150 pounds sterling. That’s our money.”

(The worst thing is, I knew the British used pounds as money. I just got confused!)

Can’t Get A Handle On Her Demands

, , , | Right | January 29, 2019

(A lady walks into my store and stands at the doorway with her nose in the air and her hands on her hips, as if she expects someone to instantly rush to assist her. Since my cashier and I are helping out other people already, she waits around a moment before marching further into the store. Later, she and I cross paths.)

Customer: “Can you help me?”

Me: “Sure! How can I help you?”

Customer: “I doubt you can help me since you people never have what I need.”

Me: “Well, let’s see. What are you looking for?”

Customer: “I’m looking for a dog harness, but it has a handle on it so you can lift the dog, like when the dog gets too old and needs help jumping into cars…”

Me: “I know exactly what you’re talking about! It’s right over here, but it’s the only one we have in the store, so it’ll depend on whether your dog is the right size for it. How much does your dog weigh?”

Customer: “Sixty pounds.”

Me: “Great! It looks like this harness is for any dog between fifty and ninety pounds, so it should fit perfectly!”

Customer: “Well, the one I saw on the Internet was only fifteen dollars. I printed it out, but I left the paper at home.”

Me: “This one is thirty dollars. It’s possible that you might have seen a different item, but if you want, I can check to see if this item has a different price on our website.”

Customer: “What do you mean?”

Me: “Sometimes our online prices are different from the in-store prices. However, we do match our online prices, so if you want, I can go look up the online price for this item and match it for you.”

Customer: “But this is the wrong item! This one doesn’t have a handle on it.”

Me: *pointing to the handle* “It looks like it actually does have a handle.”

Customer: “Well, the item I want lifts the dog from the back! It’s my dog’s back legs that are going bad, and this harness lifts from the front!”

(I’m puzzled at this point since not only does the item clearly wrap around the dog’s belly, as displayed in its picture, but I also can’t imagine any type of harness that only lifts up a dog’s backside since the dog would probably fall on its face.)

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but this is the only harness of this type that we have in the store…”

Customer: “I KNEW you wouldn’t have what I wanted!”

(As she storms out, my cashier makes the mistake of smiling at her, prompting her to yell at him for our store being “the sorry-est [pet store]” she’d ever seen.)

There’s A Lot About This Situation You Would Like To Change

, , , | Right | January 28, 2019

(We have a regular who always likes to complain or cause a fuss about something or other, whether it’s the meal, the staff, or even the presence of other customers! This day she comes in with a friend and is suspiciously nice about everything. I think maybe she’s finally decided not to rile us anymore when she comes to my counter to pay for her £1.47 in items and hands me a £20 note. It’s been a busy day and I haven’t had a spare moment to top up my change yet and consequently have maybe £3 in 20p coins as the largest metal denomination and no £5 notes.)

Me: “I’m really sorry but I’m very low on change at the moment, since it’s been a busy day. Would you have anything smaller at all?”

Customer: “No! I only have this £20 and I really want change from it!”

Me: *glancing at my already behind list of orders and crying on the inside* “Would you mind if I quickly get some change from the office then?”

Customer: “Well, I’d really like to get going soon, but if you HAVE to—“

(I run like the wind to the office and dig out the remaining change that we have, which doesn’t include notes. I run back, not even bothering to put the change in through the till as this would waste the customer’s precious time and she’s already finger-tapping on the counter with an all too familiar expression.)

Me: “Right, I’ve found some change but I’m afraid there aren’t any £5 notes so it’ll have to be all in coins unless… Are you sure you don’t have aaaaanything smaller?”

Customer: “No. I want change!”

(I count out her change, using up almost half the change I’ve just collected. I see other customers looking impatient as this process means their drinks orders are getting further and further behind. I then look with pure horror as the customer opens her wallet, revealing two £5 notes and a MOUNTAIN of change that jingles heavily when she throws the new change on top of it.)

Customer: *to her friend as she walks out, not even thanking me upon leaving* “You can never have too much parking change, you know!”

(The other customers then complained that their drinks were taking too long and I had to have a jolly good frustrated swear in the bathroom after that!)

Power Play

, , , | Right | January 28, 2019

(There is a storm and we have lost power. We are still open but are doing everything manually and are only accepting cash. We tell customers this when they enter the store and have a big sign at the checkouts stating this. It’s dull but we have light from outside and battery operated lights at the desks.)

Customer: “Okay I’ll take these.”

(The customer shoves a bunch of items into my hands.)

Me: “Okay, ma’am. Just so you know, we have lost power. We are taking cash only until the power comes back.”

Customer: “But I wish to pay by card!” *hands me debit card*

Me: “I am sorry, but as I said, we have no power. The EFT machine is run by power and we have no emergency generator.”

Customer: “This is outrageous! You just cut the power because you knew I was coming, didn’t you? I demand you put the power back on now!”

Me: “I’m sorry, but I have no control over the power. I cannot process this unless you are paying cash. I am happy to hold your items if you would like to go get cash now, or come back later?”

Customer: “You’re no help.” *storms out of store*

Next Customer: *who happens to be a regular* “I would have said yes, I did cut the power just to piss you off.”

Me: “I was tempted. But I like my job.”

(The regular customer returned with a box of chocolates to help us through the power outage!)

Evading Tax, One Dollar At A Time

, , , , , | Right | January 28, 2019

(I’m a cashier at a dollar store. Two teenagers, who have been causing a bit of a ruckus, finally check out.)

Teen #1: *pointing to a chocolate bar* “That’s a dollar, right?”

Me: “Yes.”

Teen #1: *pointing to another chocolate bar* “And this is 50 cents, right?”

Me: “No… it’s a dollar. Your total is $3.50.”

Teen #2: “So, it’s not all a dollar! You’re cheating us!”

Me: *sighs* “There are mandatory taxes on these products.”

Teen #1: “I’m under 18. I don’t pay taxes.”

Me: *not having time for their games* “Pay or I’ll get my manager.”

(They paid without protest and left. Whose life is so sad that they have to go and bug people working in a dollar store?)

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