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Should’ve Thought Of That A Bit Sooner

, , , , , | Working | January 7, 2022

I win an online auction. It isn’t cheap but still a lot less than new. I pay immediately, and I wait and wait. After a few weeks and still no dispatch notification, I email the seller.

Me: “Hi. I’m just checking, did this get dispatched?”

Seller: “Sorry, yes, it did.”

Another week goes by; the item is now late.

Me: “Hi. I’m just checking, as the item hasn’t arrived, when did this get sent?”

Seller: “Oh, sorry, I forgot to send it. I will try to do it tomorrow.”

Me: “Great, thanks. Please let me know when it gets sent.”

Another week…

Me: “Hi. Can you please confirm if this was sent, when it was sent, and the tracking number? I noticed that you have listed another item using the same pictures, so I am a little concerned about what is going on.”

Seller: “Yeah, I didn’t send it, sorry. To be honest, I wanted more money for it than I got, so I want to relist it. You can bid on the new auction if you like. Sorry again.”

I didn’t even look at the new listing. I submitted a claim and gave negative and honest feedback. I got my money back and the seller got restricted. I’m not sorry at all, which is probably the same as the seller.

You Don’t Get To Manage Everything

, , , , | Working | January 7, 2022

The most charming quality about one of the managers at my company is that she insists that she and she alone paid for any purchases you make as a result of working at the company.

Got a degree while interning/contracting at the company? She paid for it. Bought a new used car? She paid for it. Bought a new house? She paid for it. That new shirt you are wearing? She paid for it.

God forbid that we actually work for the things we have in life!

Unfortunately for her, I am a spoiled trust-fund kid, which annoys her to a different degree. Because of it, I managed to save up a considerable amount during my undergrad and still be able to buy a house with my partner. 

I decide to go back to get my Master’s part-time and ask the owner of the company to write — and by “write,” I mean to sign a letter I write myself — me a letter of recommendation as he is also a professor at the university I wish to attend. I also ask my manager to write me a letter and ask my former boss at the university to write me one, as well. This annoys [Entitled Manager] because she cannot take credit. But wait!

Entitled Manager: “I am so glad that you are going back to school and that [Company] can help you do it.” 

Me: “Actually, [Company] had no part in it outside of the letter of recommendation — which [Owner] just signed off on. I don’t know if he actually read it or not.”

Entitled Manager: “Well, [Company] is still paying for it!”

Me: “Actually, no. One of the conditions I stipulated was that [Company] would not be paying for it.”

Entitled Manager: “But [Company] is paying for it, then, as you work for [Company].”

Me: “My grandmother will be very displeased to hear that, as she is the one writing the checks for school out of my trust fund.”

Entitled Manager: “Well, you are going to need our help to finish your courses.”

Me: “Actually, [Owner] and I agreed that he wasn’t going to be my PI due to a conflict of interest, so I have to find someone on my own.”

Entitled Manager: “…”

She spent the next five minutes trying to figure out how else she could take credit for it but failed. It didn’t stop her from later trying to claim to others that “she” was paying for my Master’s, but I politely reminded her that under no circumstances was I using “company” funds to pay for my school and she had no part in it.

The Old Familiar Game: Stupid Or Scammer?

, , , , , | Right | January 7, 2022

Client: “We’re a startup game company, and we need one character with thirty different eyes, thirty different mouths, thirty different hairstyles, and thirty different bodies for our game where the character can be customized.”

Me: “Okay, that’s technically thirty characters with each element drawn separately and/or in separate layers.”

I then give my rate for thirty characters.

Client: “Your profile says you charge [amount] for only one character. Please give us that rate since it’s only one character but he has thirty different mouths, eyes, hair, and bodies. So the price should be just for one character.”

Every Time You Stand In Line It’s A Lottery

, , , , , | Right | January 6, 2022

I’m waiting in line at a gas station. Two middle-aged women are at the cash register.

Woman #1: “We have gas on pump two, and these items here.”

Cashier: “Okay, that’ll be $40.”

Woman #1: “I’ll also take fifteen of the #8 lottery tickets.”

Woman #2: “Add fifteen of the #4 tickets for me, too!”

Cashier: *After ringing through the lottery tickets.* “Okay, your new total is $70.”

Woman #2: “Great! We’ll add twenty of the #6 tickets and ten of the #11 tickets.”

Woman #1: “Make that twenty of the #11, and throw in ten #12s.”

Cashier: “Okay. Total now is $120.”

Woman #2: *To [Woman #1]* “What is our budget again?”

Woman #1: “Well, [Man] is paying, so who cares what we spend!”

The women laugh, and I finally snap.

Me: “If you’re going to spend all day picking out lottery tickets, can I pay for my stuff and get out?”

Woman #1: “Oh, hush! We’re on vacation!”

Me: “If you’re going to spend this much money on lottery tickets, why not just go to a casino for your vacation?”

Woman #2: “Where’s the fun in that?”

The women proceeded to spend more time at the cash register, choosing lottery tickets. By the time they were done, their grand total was several hundred.

I know gambling is addictive, but wow. I hope your vacation lottery tickets were worth it, ladies.

BYOE (Bring Your Own Exposure)

, , | Right | January 6, 2022

I am a freelance writer with particular academic expertise. My work is becoming more well-known and widespread, so my profile is rising somewhat. As a result, I am emailed out of the blue by an old acquaintance whom I’d worked with previously on a media project. He works in the media himself, and it shows.

Client: “Hi, mate. Long time no see. So, I’m putting together a new site, all about [subject]. I reckon it’ll be a really great resource, but I’m trying to get it off the ground. Would you be willing to write a piece for it? With your profile, it would really help get it noticed.”

I realise it will be a very quick job, and I bear the guy no ill will, so I am fine to do him a favour.

Me: “Yeah, okay. Sounds doable. I’ll send something over in a couple of days.”

Client: “Great, thanks. I’m afraid there’s no budget, so I can’t pay you, but it will be great exposure for you.”

Me: “So, you’ll get exposure because it’s me writing for you, and that exposure will be how I’m paid?”

Client: “Yeah. That all okay?”

I just sent him a quick piece in the end, seemed easier. Never saw the eventual site; presumably, it didn’t happen because his “pay me to work for me” strategy didn’t pan out.