Right Working Romantic Related Learning Friendly Healthy Legal Inspirational Unfiltered

The Ferocity Of Generosity

, , , | Right | July 30, 2009

(I’m waiting on a table who is celebrating a child’s birthday. They’ve just finished eating.)

Me: “Are we ready for our check?”

Customer #1: “I’ll take it.”

Customer #2: “No, I can’t let you pay for me!”

Customer #1: “I’m paying! It’s [Child’s] birthday!”

Customer #2: *to me* “Give me my check, now!”

(I hand [Customer #2] her check from my book, but [Customer #1] starts crying hysterically.)

Customer #1: *to me* “I’m never coming to this place again! How dare you treat me this way!”

(I apologize and go to process the check. Later on, I run into [Customer #1] and her husband as they are leaving the restaurant; she’s still sobbing hysterically.)

Customer #1’s Husband: “What in the h*** do you put in your tilapia?!”

Lazy Beyond Relief

, , , | Right | July 27, 2009

Caller: *on the phone* “My house is going to be foreclosed on next week! Please help! I cannot lose this house; please help me save it!”

Me: “Okay. We’ll email a bankruptcy questionnaire to you right away. Please fill out as much as you can and get it back to us ASAP.”

(I email her the packet, which asks basic questions like how much you owe your creditors, what are your assets, how much do you make, etc. The caller phones back fifteen minutes later.)

Caller: “That’s just too much information! Never mind, I’ll just give up the house.”


This story is part of our Lazy Customers roundup!

Read the next Lazy Customers roundup story!

Read the Lazy Customers roundup!

From Lucifer To Lucky

, , , , | Right | July 23, 2009

(I’ve just rung up a customer’s items at the grocery store.)

Me: “That will be $6.66, sir.”

Customer: “Wait a minute!”

(The customer proceeds to frantically search the candy displays. He comes back with a handful of various candies and a soda.)

Customer: “Okay, now ring these up, because that is bad omen!”

Me: “Your new total is… $7.77!


This story is featured in our Religious Customers roundup!

Click here to read the next story.

Click here to return to the roundup!

The Karma Of Capitalism

, , , , | Right | July 22, 2009

Me: “Can I help you, sir?”

Customer: “Can you… do… this coupon?” *holds out coupon*

Me: “Yes, our two-for-one special. What flavors would you like?”

(The customer then dictates two particularly long and complicated orders.)

Customer: “I don’t like the energy you gave off while making those ice creams. Make them again.”

Me: “Okay… I’ll try to change my energy, sir.”

(Later, after I re-did the order.)

Me: “That would be $3.66, please.”

Customer: “But I have a coupon.”

Me: “A two-for-one means you have to pay for one of the two ice creams.”

Customer: “Pay…? But… free?”

Me: “You have to pay, yes.”

Customer: “But I just wanted free ice-cream…”

Me: “Do you even have any money?”

Customer: “What the h*** do I need money for? I have a coupon!”


This story is part of our Ice Cream roundup!

Want to read the next story? Click here!

Want to see the roundup? Click here!

Beware The Nines Of Merch

, , | Right | July 20, 2009

(I’m at the service desk when an elderly man comes up.)

Me: “Can I help you find anything, sir?”

Customer: “No, but you can answer me a question.”

Me: “Yes?”

Customer: “Do you have anything for sale that doesn’t end in .99?”

Me: “Well, we’ve got some 79s and 49s, but prices are usually always going to end–”

Customer: “Are you kidding me?! I know what you’re trying to do with those nines! I know that you’re just trying to convince me it’s cheaper! Do you think I’m stupid or something?!”

Me: “…”

Customer: “TAKE THE NINES SERIOUSLY!” *storms out*