Customer: *Irate* “You’re charging $6.99 for [Brand] bacon?! They sell it at [Store] across the street for $3!”

Me: “Hold on a moment and I’ll call my manager.”

I pull out my phone and quickly Google the number for the store across the street and called them. Then, I come back to the customer.

Me: “I just called the store across the street and they told me they don’t even sell [Brand] bacon.”

You should have seen the look on her face.

I work in a drugstore that also has photo printing services. During the peak holiday season, a lady and her husband come in to use the self-service photo kiosk and print off 173 photos. While they’re printing, the lady shops around and picks out a single Chapstick.

Once her photos are done printing, she brings the pictures plus her Chapstick up to the counter and hands me a coupon for $1 off healthcare items.

We’re really busy, and the way our system works, you have to scan a barcode for the photos and enter the quantity to make the system calculate the total. The max you can enter is ninety-nine. If it’s more than ninety-nine, you have to scan it a second time and do the math manually to calculate the difference. There’s a huge line, so I really don’t feel like taking the extra five seconds to figure it out. Usually, when I do this, I err on the side of caution and intentionally undercalculate by a couple of photos to avoid someone coming back and saying I overcharged them.

I scan it once for ninety-nine and then a second time for like forty. I admit, this is my mistake, but it is the holidays and I am feeling generous. Shouldn’t have done that.

I scan the Chapstick and the coupon. The coupon rejects because Chapstick doesn’t qualify as a “healthcare item” I explain that we can’t use that coupon, and her husband immediately says, very aggressively:

Husband: “I AM A LAWYER! IF YOU’RE GOING TO MAKE COUPONS LIKE THIS, THEY NEED TO SPECIFY WHAT QUALIFIES AND WHAT DOESN’T!”

And so on and so forth.

Me: “Okay, no problem. We’ll override that for you.”

I void the transaction and re-ring it. But this time, I take my time to make sure I ring them for exactly the number of photos they got. I override the coupon and I tell them the total, which is now four or five dollars MORE than their previous one. I explain what I did on the previous transaction and that I did that because I was in a hurry, but for the sake of accuracy, I’ve done everything correctly this time.

They huff a little bit and leave, and I go on about my day.

About an hour later, the wife comes back and says her total doesn’t seem right. I offer to take a look at the receipt and we go over it together.

Me: “Okay, you got 173 photos. They’re 39 cents each.”

I punch it into the calculator,

Me: “That equals [amount]. Plus your Chapstick which was $3.29, minus your one-dollar coupon. That makes your total [total].”

Lady: “HA! But you charged me more than that! See?”

She points at her total.

Me: “Yes, ma’am, that’s tax, which is calculated at 7%.”

I enter that into the calculator, and we get the exact amount on her receipt. She’s looking really confused. She frowns.

Lady: “Hmmm… that still doesn’t seem right.”

Sorry. Can’t teach you math. But let me tell you, I will never cut corners to help someone out again.

About a week or two ago, my girlfriend got a $200 tip at her restaurant from an older couple. She said they were very nice and low maintenance and left before she could see their tip.

Today, I get sat an older couple. The entire time, they are incredibly polite and low maintenance. They are very kind and thankful, in and out quickly, etc. When I go to bus their table, I notice a note.

Note: “Excellent food! Outstanding service! Thank you.”

That was clearly nice and made me happy, but then I looked down. I honestly didn’t believe it at first and it took me a minute to process, but they tipped me $200 on a $50 bill.

Afterward, I called my girlfriend, and we believe, based on the descriptions we had, that they were the same couple.

I wish I had gotten to thank them in person. The money came at a time when it was really needed!

I’m working a lunch shift today, and my table is going well until after this guy and his wife cash out.

Customer: *Angrily* “I’ve never been anywhere that it costs $72 for a soup and salad!”

Me: “You also ordered two cosmos and grilled salmon for your salad, and your wife ordered two glasses of wine, a shot of whiskey, and two more food items.”

Customer: “Well, I’ve never been anywhere where it costs $72 for lunch. Also, this dressing was bad.”

Me: “Again, you got more than that, but I’d be happy to take seventy-five cents off for that extra dressing you asked for.”

We go back and forth with the same dialogue two or three more times, and I finally just say:

Me: “Okay, thanks. Have a great day!”

He calls me back over five minutes later.

Customer: “I’m ready to pay.”

Me: “Sir, you’ve already paid. Have a great day.”

I was so confused. He didn’t tip me, of course.

A few years ago, I went to visit my best friend from college. We decided to take a nostalgia trip to our alma mater.

First, we visited the Alumni House. We decided to sign up for the alumni program and purchase a couple of sweatshirts from them. We paid cash. The individual staffing the Alumni House counted our change back to us incorrectly; she gave us too much money. We pointed out the error and she recounted it back to us, again incorrectly. We tried one more time. When she did it a third time, we gave up. Before we left, we were given coupons for free double-scoop ice cream cones at the Dairy.

Our next visit was to the bookstore. At the time, I was collecting wine glasses from places I visited. I found one and purchased it. They had only been open for a few minutes when we arrived. I paid for my purchase and the clerk gave me my change. She had not set up her till completely and so the change came out of the bank bag.

Me: “Since I’m traveling, can I have the glass wrapped, please?”

Clerk: “Of course!”

And she went to the back to wrap it for me, leaving the till open and the bank bag sitting on the open drawer. I was stunned but didn’t choose to walk out with the bag or any of its contents.

Finally, we made our way to the Dairy. Their ice cream is famous, and we were really looking forward to our treat. While the coupon was for a free double-scoop, I only wanted a single scoop.

Cashier: *Puzzled* “But the coupon is for a double-scoop.”

Me: “I only want a single scoop.”

Cashier: “Are you sure? The coupon…”

Me: “Okay, how about you put the second scoop in a bowl and you can eat it?”

Cashier: “That’s not possible because the coupon is for a cone.”

I was barely containing my laughter at this point and so was my friend. I finally convinced the cashier that she could give me one scoop and she could give my second scoop for free to the next person that wanted a single scoop.

They say things come in threes. I guess that may be true. All of these at a well-respected university. I doubt I will go back again.