When I was young, snowblowers were uncommon. My dad and a neighbor chipped in to buy one together for their shared driveway. Even by today’s standards, it was a monster and could handle really deep snow.

We got some new neighbors across the street. The lady, who was pregnant, and her mom showed up after a week of serious snow and ice storms and found their long driveway (it went around to the back of the house) and sidewalks with layers of snow and ice nearly three feet deep.

My mom saw them struggling to get in and out of the house from the street, so she sent me over to plow the driveway. It took hours because of the ice and the snow was so deep. I finished up, and the ladies offered me some money, but I refused.

When the husband (who was a doctor) got there later that day, he came over and insisted I take something like $50! In the early 1970s, that was a lot for a kid. And then, he hired me to always plow and shovel whenever it snowed.

When some of the other neighbors found out I was doing this, they also paid me to do their driveways. After a really big snowfall, I could make a few hundred dollars plowing all day. Good times as a teen!

Ugh, this story reminds me of an idiot who wanted to buy cigarettes when I was working during the global health crisis.

Customer: “These are [amount around thirty cents] more a pack than they were last time! This is price-gouging! You should be ashamed of yourself!”

No, honey, that’s inflation, not price gouging.

Somehow, I was not, in fact, ashamed of myself.

Related:
Has Beef With Water
Inflation’s A Thing. Who Knew?

A client wanted me to help him change domain registrars. I helped him through the process, and the five-minute tutorial turned into a thirty-minute ordeal as he questioned the security of every step.

Me: “There, done. Now just enter your card details.”

Client: “No. I don’t trust the website.”

Me: “Then you can’t transfer your domain! Don’t worry. The site is very reputable.”

Client: “How on earth do you know? I’m a businessman; I need to know who I’m dealing with.”

Me: “They have an SSL certificate and half a million customers. I use these guys, and I trust them with my card details.”

Client: “Then we’ll use your card details.”

Me: “But why would I pay for your site?”

Client: “I think that’s only fair seeing as you’ve taken up so much of my time. Every second I spend on this, I’m not working on my core business, so I’m not earning money.”

Customer: “I want a mocha but no coffee in it.”

Me: “Oh, so you want a hot chocolate?”

Customer: “No, I want a mocha.”

Me: “A mocha is espresso with chocolate. Without the coffee, it’s just chocolate.”

Customer: “I want a mocha but with no coffee.”

I look at my manager, who has heard the interaction.

Manager: “Just charge him $3.90 for a hot choccy milky.”

I did. He seemed happy. Regular hot chocolate was $2.50. 

Related:
Making A Mocha-ry Of Yourself, Part 5
Making A Mocha-ry Of Yourself, Part 4
Making A Mocha-ry Of Yourself, Part 3
Making A Mocha-ry Of Yourself, Part 2
Making A Mocha-ry Of Yourself

Me: “Can I get y’all started on some drinks?”

Customer: “Can I get a virgin screwdriver?”

I laugh, thinking she’s joking.

Me: “One orange juice, gotcha.”

Customer: *Deadly serious* “No. I want a virgin screwdriver.”

Me: “A screwdriver is just vodka and orange juice. Take away the alcohol, and it’s just… well… orange juice.”

Customer: “Are you going to bring me what I ask for,or do I need to get your manager?”

She got her $8.95 OJ!