File>Open>Yard, Highlight Grass, Ctrl-X

, , , , , | Right | May 14, 2008

Me: “Thank you for calling tech support. This is [My Name]. How may I help you?”

Customer: “Come mow my lawn!”

Me: “Excuse me, ma’am?”

Customer: “I said, come mow my lawn!”

Me: “I’m sorry, this is tech support. Are you having trouble with your cable TV or Internet?”

Customer: “I know who this is! I want you to mow my lawn! In the rain! I pay y’all enough every month, so you better come mow it!” *click*

Me: “…”

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At Least She’s Not Returning Used Diapers

, , , , | Right | May 12, 2008

(I was working checkouts the other day when I overheard this happening at the service desk.)

Customer: “Hi, I’d like to return these outfits.”

Coworker: “All right, may I see your receipt?”

(The customer hands over a receipt dated about seven months ago.)

Coworker: “I’m sorry, we can only accept returns within the first ninety days.”

Customer: “But my child outgrew these! Am I supposed to just lose money on them?”

Coworker: “Ma’am, children do tend to outgrow clothing.”

Customer: “Well, what am I supposed to do with them? Why should I lose money because of this?!”

Coworker: “…”

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Toothless Accusations

, , | Right | May 8, 2008

Patient: “How much is my total?”

Receptionist: “$200.”

Patient: “What? That’s ridiculous! I should get a discount because I come here so much.”

Receptionist: “Ah, well, we really don’t see you more than a couple of times a year for checkups.”

Patient: “Well, he’s the most expensive dentist in the area.”

(The dentist happens to walk by.)

Patient: “Hey, doctor, you’re the most expensive dentist in the area!”

Doctor: “Thank you. It’s not true, but thank you.” *walks away*

Patient: “Are you sure you can’t give me a discount?”

Receptionist: “Sorry.”

Patient: “But I pay for his Bimmer!”

(The doctor actually drives a Honda.)


This story is part of our Demands For Discounts roundup!

Read the next Demands For Discounts roundup story!

Read the Demands For Discounts roundup!

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How About Some Ritalin While You’re At It

, , , | Right | May 7, 2008

(Our insurance transmitter was experiencing problems, so we were unable to transmit to any insurance companies when filling prescriptions. I explained this to one customer, who decided to sit and wait for a while to see if the transmitter would come back up. Meanwhile, another customer came in with a prescription.)

New Customer: “Hi, I’d like this filled please.”

Me: *explains transmitter problem*

New Customer: “Oh that’s okay, I don’t have insurance.”

Me: “No problem, we’ll have it ready in just a few minutes.”

Original Customer: “Wait! I was ahead of her! Why isn’t mine ready!?”

Me: “We are still waiting for the insurance transmitter to come back up, sir.”

Original Customer: “Well how did you fill hers!”

New Customer: “I pay cash, I don’t have prescription coverage.”

Original Customer: “Well I pay cash too!”

Me: “You want to just get it at retail price, and not use insurance?”

Original Customer: “Yes! I have cash! I’ll pay for it, just fill it now!”

(Five minutes later…)

Me: “Okay, sir, we’ve got you ready. The total comes to $35.99.”

Original Customer: “WHAT! My co-pay is only $3.00!”

Me: “Sir, you said you wanted to go ahead and pay cash price since the insurance transmitter is still down.”

Original Customer: “I do have cash! See?” *shows wallet with cash in it* “Why is it $35?! You people don’t know anything! I’m taking my business elsewhere!”

Me: *facepalm*

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Customer Knows Best

, , , , | Right | May 3, 2008

(We are running a little sale that offers the customer 20% off on regular priced item.)

Customer: “So, can I use the sale coupon on sale items?”

Me: “Unfortunately, the coupon is only good on regularly priced items.”

Customer: “What about sale items?”

Me: “It can only be used on regularly priced items.”

Customer: “But the shoes were $109, and now they are $79.”

Me: “We can only use it on regularly priced items.”

Customer: “But it’s marked down!”

Me: *losing patience, but still with a smile* “I’m sorry, but again we can only use it on regularly priced items.”

Customer: “Well, then make my shoes regular priced and give me my 20%!”

Me: “Sure, I’d be happy to. You grand total comes to $87.20.”

Customer: “Finally! I swear, all you people try to do is swindle us out of buying sale items with that regular priced coupon. But I see through what you’re trying to do.”

Me: “Yes. I’ll do everything I can to give you the best deal you want.”

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