Has Something To Tell You Alright!

, , , , , , | Working | June 23, 2017

(Back in the day, my boss calls me up at seven am on my day off to tell me that the drawer was short $80 from the night before when I closed, ruining my one day that week to sleep in.)

Boss: “So, the drawer is short $80. Is there anything you want to tell me?”

Me: “I don’t know; is it stuck in the safe drop? The flap is loose in the drop slide.”

Boss: “No, I checked.”

Me: “Are there any discrepancies in the cash out? It looked balanced to me. Did I mess up?”

Boss: “Not that I could see. The drawer is balanced and the printout looks solid, so the only thing that’s off is the deposit safe.”

Me: “Then I have no idea. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

Boss: “Ok, but just call me if there’s anything you want to tell me.”

(Twenty minutes later he calls again:)

Boss: “You know, I still can’t find that $80.”

Me: “Well, crap.”

Boss: “And I looked at the security footage, and I didn’t see anything suspicious, but it was only you and the trainee working last night, and you were the only person handling the cash register.”

Me: “Darn. Are you sure it’s not stuck in the loose panel in the safe drop?”

Boss: “No, it’s not.”

Me: “Okay, then. I don’t know what to tell you.”

Boss: “Well, listen, I know you’re tight on money lately, and I just think it’s funny that there’s $80 missing from the safe on a night you were working. I respect you, so if you took the money and you bring it back right now I won’t get mad, and I won’t fire you.”

Me: “Well, [Boss], I respect you, too, so I’m going to put it this way. I have on numerous occasions caught my coworkers stealing from you and immediately reported it to you and you handled the situation. Since I’ve started working for you you’ve repeatedly said that I’ve saved you money because of changes that I’ve made in ensuring certain policies are adhered to, and since you’ve hired me you’ve passed every corporate and health inspection with a margin of five percent. You know very well that I have integrity and that I have always acted in the best interest of your business.”

Boss: “Well–”

Me: “And when you hired me you trusted me to be your number two to watch out for all of your franchises, train all of your employees, and take care of all of your stores, and you gave me a lot of freedom and a lot of responsibility, and you trusted me. A lot. You gave me the master keys to all four of your stores, I have the alarm codes to all four stores, I have the safe codes to all four stores, I have the computer password and access to all of your files in the office that track your accounting, and I know the password to tell the alarm company that tells them not to send the police in case I accidentally set off the alarm anyway.  All this means that at any given day I could walk into all four of your restaurants and steal every penny you have in all four safes AND THEN I could go into the office, blip the security footage, and fudge the accounting so you wouldn’t know it was missing for weeks until you ran your quarterly paperwork — which would have given me plenty of time to skip out on you and cover my tracks even more. If I were going to rob you I would take a hell of a lot more than $80. It’s simply just easier to work a full week every week at minimum wage and get a paycheck every Friday. Robbing you would be too much of a hassle, no matter how easy you’ve made it for me. You keep telling me and everyone else that I’m so smart, so think about it. Am I dumb enough to get myself fired over a measly $80? Please stick your hand INTO the safe and feel UPWARD into the drop slide to see if the envelope is stuck in the loose panel.”

Boss: “…oh. Okay, I’ll look again.”

(A half hour later he calls me back.)

Boss: “Hey, so, I found the missing $80. The corner of the envelope got stuck in the loose panel of the drop safe and it was hanging out of the flap instead of falling into the safe.”

Me: *facepalm* “That’s great, [Boss]. See you tomorrow.”

(I still had that job for another two years after that — and no, he didn’t take any further precautions against theft, even after I told him all of the ways I could potentially screw him over. I guess that at the end of the day he really did trust me.)

Could Have Scooted Over To The Bank

, , , , , | Right | June 21, 2017

(It’s three minutes before close and my manager is next to me closing another register. An eight-year-old girl comes up to my till with her grandparents to buy a scooter. Note that in Canada, we have $1 and $2 coins.)

Grandmother: “I’m sorry about this.”

Me: *thinking it’s about how late it is* “Oh, it’s no problem—”

Grandmother: “No, you’ll see.”

(My and my manager’s eyes bulged. The woman took out her granddaughter’s allowance that the girl had saved up to spend — all of it in coins in six plastic baggies. My manager and I desperately began counting it, taking ten minutes between us to do it. The girl had saved up $165.65 in coins to spend that day. What’s worse was that there are two banks across the parking lot from our store they could have gone to change the coins.)

Tipped For A Big Fight

, , , , | Related | June 21, 2017

(My mom, about 70 years old, and I eat at a restaurant. She offers to treat me, pays the bill, and leaves a tip… a tiny 10%. It’s a small check, so I put another dollar from my wallet onto her other few dollars that are on the table.)

Me: “I’d like to contribute to the tip.” *I don’t want to offend her by pointing out the stinginess of her tip*

Mom: “Thank you.” *puts the dollar that I added into her purse*

(If I told her that I didn’t think her tip wasn’t enough, I would have started a war. I would have given the waitress directly another dollar but I was close to being broke.)

Taxed Ten Cents Too Much

, , , , | Right | June 19, 2017

Me: “Okay, your total is [total].”

Customer: “I have this five dollar off coupon.”

Me: “Oh, sorry, as it says on the coupon, the five dollars off are only for purchases of $25.00 or above, excluding tax.”

Customer: “But I have $25.00.”

Me: “Yes, but that’s including the tax. Your total before tax is $24.90 which is what the coupon counts. You can grab a candy or something to make it enough.”

(The lady stands there for ages angrily reading all the exclusions on the coupon.)

Me: “Uh… so did you want to grab a candy or…?”

Customer: “IT DOESN’T SAY THAT ABOUT THE TAX ON THIS COUPON!”

Me: “It’s a law that coupons can’t be used on tax, not store policy, so they wouldn’t write it on the coupon—”

Customer: “IT DOESN’T SAY THAT ABOUT THE TAX ON THIS COUPON. I’M CALLING THE BETTER BUSINESS BUREAU.”

(She then throws the coupon and storms out, leaving her purchases. All right, lady. If they printed every single consumer and business law on a coupon, it would go out the door!)

This Is Ending ‘Up’ Badly

, , , , , | Right | June 18, 2017

(I’m working in a small thrift store where we sell items for generally pretty cheap when a middle-aged man walks in and starts shopping.)

Customer: *puts a jacket on the counter* “I need you to check the price of this now.”

Me: *after scanning the item* “Okay, sir, this jacket comes up to 19.99.”

Customer: “19.99? The rack says 3.99, though.”

Me: “It’s a 3.99 and up rack so the prices could vary.”

Customer: “It says 3.99, though.”

Me: “It’s a 3.99 and up rack, sir.”

Customer: *walks over and grabs five more identical jackets* “Price check these.”

Me: “These are all of the same jacket they’ll all be the same price.”

Customer: “But it says 3.99.”

Me: “It’s an ‘and-up’ rack; the prices vary.”

Customer: “So it’s now 3.99?”

Me: “No, sir.”

Customer: “Hmm, okay…” *dumps everything on the counter and walks out*

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