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Beggars Are Always Trying To Be Choosers

, , , , , | Right | CREDIT: 20Sumting | September 14, 2021

I’m selling a smartwatch for £50 online, and I have this exchange with a potential buyer.

Buyer: “Can you possibly deliver to [Town]?”

Me: “Uh, possibly. It depends where in [Town]. It would be my partner delivering it, so it would be up to him.”

Buyer: “[Neighbourhood], and any discount, please?”

Me: “Probably not if you want us to deliver it, too?”

Buyer: “Sorry, I will pay £30.”

Me: “Uh, no. You want to take £20 off and have us deliver it?”

I never heard back.

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This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 104

, , , , , , | Right | September 13, 2021

I work for the call center of my local credit union.

Member: “I have a problem with your app. I’m trying to do a mobile deposit, and it’s not letting me do cash.”

Me: “That is correct?!”

Member: “Why isn’t it letting me deposit cash? I’m taking a picture of the front and back of the bills.”

Me: “Because it’s cash. We have no way to prove that you wouldn’t just spend that cash. You can take your deposit to an ATM, a branch, or a shared branch to make your deposit, but you can only deposit checks through the app.

Member: “I can’t make it to any of those places any time soon. What if I submit a video of me burning the cash after I do the deposit? That way you’ll know for sure I’m not trying to scam you!”

This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 103
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 102
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 101
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 100
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 99

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Much Less Rewarding Than He Was Hoping

, , , , | Working | September 7, 2021

A few years ago, back when mobile payment apps aren’t around yet, five coworkers and I decide to go out for dinner and drinks one Friday after a pretty brutal week. We go to a restaurant a few blocks away that we all know is good. We like that they have a good system for making tabs for everyone so that you don’t have to figure out the best way to divide the bill at the end.

When we sit down, before the waitress takes our drink order, she asks if it will be on one bill or if we plan to do separate tabs.

Coworker #1: *Immediately* “One tab.”

And he gives his card to the waitress.

The Rest Of Us: “Are you sure?”

Coworker #1: “I don’t mind paying the bill.”

The Rest Of Us: “Thank you!”

We start to order our drinks and food. We are all trying not to buy a lot so as to not cost [Coworker 1] a lot of money, but when he gets a second drink, he insists we all get one, too, and to not worry about the money. We again ask if he is sure and we don’t want to be costing him money, but he says it will be fine.

As the night progresses, we have gotten some appetizers, a good meal and about three or four drinks each when the bill comes. Since there are six of us, the bill [Coworker #1] gets is about $400, with a gratuity included since we are a big party.

The Rest of Us: “Thank you again for the meal!”

Coworker #1: “You’re welcome.”

We start to get up to leave.

Coworker #1: “What are you doing? You owe me for the bill.”

We are all almost drunk at this point and we ask what he is talking about since he said he would buy the meal tonight.

Coworker #1: “I agreed to put the bill on my card, but everyone else still has to pay me for their share.”

We all look at him in disbelief.

Me: “Why did you offer up your card when we all know the restaurant lets you do separate checks, which we were all willing to do?”

Coworker #1: “I offered to put the bill on my card because I wanted the points for the dinner on my card. I’m trying to hit a bonus on my credit card; I figured it would be good because I could put money on my card without actually spending that much.”

[Coworker #2] then stands up and shouts at [Coworker #1].

Coworker #2: “You’re a cheap b*****d! We all kept asking you if you were serious about paying for us, and you kept saying yes! I only have my credit card!”

And then, [Coworker #2] storms out. My other three coworkers all do the same, so it is just [Coworker #1] and me left. I’ve stayed mainly because I am still in shock about how the night has progressed.

Coworker #1: *Looking at me* “Did you think I was paying for everyone, too?”

Me: “Yes. That’s why we were all shocked. You shouldn’t have offered to put it on your card. You should have used your head. You’ve put everyone in a rough spot.”

Coworker #1: “Well, you owe me for your part. It’s [about $60].”

Because I slightly felt bad — and was drunk — I gave [Coworker 1] $25.

Me: “Here. This is all the cash on me.”

Coworker #1: “How dare you spend more money than you had with you?!”

Me: “I planned on using my credit card, like everyone else did.”

I got up and left. [Coworker #1] then texted everyone to bring him the money or a check on Monday and gave everyone’s amount they owed. Some of my coworkers ignored the message, while others had some not-so-kind words for [Coworker #1].

Come Monday, everyone brought in money for [Coworker #1] since he threatened to use his lawyer uncle to sue us in small claims court and we just didn’t want to deal with it. The other five of us had all talked and agreed that it was clear what [Coworker #1] had agreed to and it was unbelievable that he pulled that on us.

He tried acting like everything was okay after we paid, but none of us wanted to talk to him about anything other than work, and we also stopped inviting him to lunch or get drinks. He tried joining us a couple of times but we either ignored him or left. Things got so awkward in the office that [Coworker #1] took a job paying a little less at a rival company and gave us all a rude gesture when he left.

We all talk about how ridiculous it is that, because he wanted maybe $5 in credit card rewards, [Coworker #1] ruined every friendship he had in the office.

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Great Babbling Babblu!

, , , , | Right | CREDIT: Cintanyervadasz | September 7, 2021

I was a university student working in a liquor store. We had many tourists come to buy Scotch of all types and prices.

One evening, an entourage of older tourists dropped in. One of them started yelling at us.

Customer: “Babblu! I need Babblu!”

There is no whisky named Babblu; however, we’re used to this, so my colleague and I showed the gentleman our selection of Balblair and asked which he’d like, explaining to him the different varieties and how they’re going to be the last generation of “year” statements, and so on.

My colleague and I are both young and female, which didn’t appeal to this guy. He stuck his nose up, alluding that we didn’t know as much as he did — false; combined, we know a lot — and even called himself a “whisky connoisseur.” He chose based on the price — the lowest — and wanted three. It came to about £112 which, in the grand scheme of things, wasn’t that much.

I asked whether he wanted a bag. He gruffed and refused, so I rung him up for the three whiskies, gave him the receipt, signed some tax forms, and thanked him.

He didn’t leave.

Customer: “Give me a bag.”

Me: “Oh, sorry, sir. You said you didn’t need one! It’s an extra 5p, but you can just put it in our charity box.”

Customer: “5p? You mean I’ve just come all the way from [Town] and bought hundreds of pounds of whisky, and you want me to pay 5p for a plastic bag?”

Me: “Yes, it’s the law here. If we don’t abide by the law, then our license could get revoked. It all goes to charity; we’ve chosen WaterAid so that people from the most deprived countries can get access to water.”

Customer: “But that’s disgraceful. I can’t believe you’re going to charge me 5p. I won’t stand for it! This is awful!”

Colleague: “It’s the law. Think about the future; plastic bag waste has gone down 80% since the price was introduced and the money all goes to charity.”

The old man LOST HIS MIND and screamed at us.

Customer: “Charity?! I’m a charity!”

He and his entourage stormed out, carrying the heavy weight of three Babblu whiskies between the three of them. I have since referred to Balblair as Babblu in his honour.

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Time To Block That Particular Vet

, , , , | Healthy | September 7, 2021

This takes place during the beginnings of the 2020 health crisis, over a span of three months, from January to March. I have had my cat Linus since he was four months old and got him from a local rescue, meaning he was neutered when I got him. In 2020, he was five years old. I take him to his annual checkups and he has never had any issues.

One day, Linus starts acting funny. He’s making a cry I’ve never heard and looks like he’s searching for something. He keeps pawing at my clothes and a rag that I use for dusting. I watch as he squats in an attempt to pee on the rag. I quickly scoop him up and put him in his litter box. He tries to pee, but hardly anything comes out. I’m worried that he has a UTI, which in neutered males can cause a blockage and, as I found out later, they only have about seventy-two hours before they die if they are blocked.

I call my vet and explain what is happening to set up an appointment. I talk to a woman on the phone who I assume is a vet.

Vet: “If he is blocked, then there is nothing we can do except refer him to the ER where they can treat him. You should just go to the ER instead of wasting your money to come to us first and then to the ER.”

I do this, not knowing this will be the first act of many stressful moments over this three-month time period.

At the ER, they take a look at him and say that he is not blocked but simply has a UTI. They give me three or four types of medication (ranging from pill to liquid) and send me on my way. This first visit is about $200 to $300. After following the instructions carefully and fighting my bratty baby, he seems to get better. I keep an eye on his litter box, and while his urine clumps aren’t normal-sized, he seems to be peeing again.

One morning, I notice Linus is having trouble peeing again. I leave for work, but since I’m concerned, I leave early to take him to the ER again. They check him again, and again they say that he’s not blocked, just a UTI. The vet also tells me he possibly has FLUTD (Feline Lower Urinary Tract Disease), which is more psychological than bacterial, where stress causes the cat to have UTI symptoms. Again, I am given the same medications, and this time I pay around $500 for this visit.

I follow the instructions for the medicine and Linus seems to get better, but then, a couple of weeks later, he is crying again either late at night. He is searching again for something soft to pee on. I take him to the ER again. They decide to hold him for a few hours for observation and testing. I’m exhausted and concerned. Unlike the previous two times, I can’t go into the ER waiting room because of the health crisis and they only do curbside. I head home until they call me to pick him up. Turns out he was a bit dehydrated and they gave him fluids. But they also say he’s not blocked. I believe I pay something like $700 for this visit.

When I get home, Linus is acting really lethargic. He’s hardly moving and looks like he’s in pain. It looks like he’s straining and making grunting noises. I call the ER and express my concerns that he is blocked. The front desk hands the phone to the vet.

ER Vet: “It sounds like he’s blocked.”

Me: “How much will it cost to unblock him?”

She tells me an amount that’s AT LEAST $2,500. I begin crying because I’m saving for a house and that would be a good chunk of my savings. When I tell her I can’t afford that, I will never forget what she says to me.

ER Vet: “Well, if you have bad credit, you can always sign up for [Medical Credit Card #1], or the vet specific [Medical Credit Card #2].”

I am beyond pissed.

Me: “My credit isn’t the issue. Could we try [medication]? Isn’t that supposed to relax the urethra?”

ER Vet: “Sure, we can try that, but it won’t help.”

I go back to the ER to get the medication and the vet tech there tells me to try an animal hospital (basically a local clinic) in a nearby town that does surgeries. This animal hospital happens to also be my mom’s vet. I thank the vet tech and make an appointment for the next morning at the animal hospital.

I take my cat to the animal hospital, where they tell me to wait in my car because of the health crisis. When I’m called in, they take me to the room and I explain everything, including the visits with the ER. The vet later comes in and does a physical exam.

Animal Hospital Vet: “Linus is definitely blocked. I’ll be able to unblock him today. I’ll get you a quote range on costs.”

When he leaves, I look at my poor baby and burst into tears. I feel like such a bad pet parent. I’m able to calm myself by the time the vet comes back. He gives me the quote range, which is something like $680 at the lowest, $720 at the highest. I start crying again and the vet and vet tech give me concerned looks.

Me: “The ER wanted to charge me over $2,500.”

Animal Hospital Vet: “$2,500 to unblock a cat? That’s ridiculous.”

I agreed for him to do the procedure, and they took my cat to the back. He explained that I needed to put him on special prescription diet food after the procedure. In addition, if he became blocked three times within a short time span, such as a year, then we might need to look at surgery that would basically turn him into a “female”; the surgery makes the male cat’s urethra shorter and wider like a female’s, which is why females don’t get blocked.

I thanked him and left. Linus was in the clinic for three days and was well after that. There was some concern expressed by the vet that Linus’s blood sugar was high and that he might be diabetic, but it turns out he’s not, luckily.

Linus now is doing well. I’ve had no more scares since. He’s on special prescription food and is happy and healthy.

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