Rich People Be Ballin’

, , , , , , | | Right | July 12, 2019

I work in a public library. A man approaches the counter to check out some movies. At the time, anyone who owes $5 or more is blocked from checking out, and this fellow owes $6. I inform him of this and tell him if he can bring his bill down to $4.99, he can check out. I’ve found this an effective way to get people to pay most or all of their fine, even our most stubborn “I shouldn’t have late fees at all” patrons.

The man is perfectly pleasant and agrees to pay. He then proceeds to not only pull the waistband of his shorts away from his body, but the waistband of his boxer shorts underneath, as well. He then rifles around in his underwear a bit and proceeds to give me six damp dollar bills.

I can’t refuse the money, so I reluctantly take it and check his items out to him. As soon as he’s gone, I get a can of disinfectant spray, hit “NO SALE” on the cash register, and take out his boxer-short money to spray down, informing a confused coworker what just happened. I also use a LOT of hand sanitizer and make sure the dollar bills are kept separate from the others.

Honestly, I’ll take boob money over ball-sack money any day! Unless she’s lactating, of course.

When They Want A Refund They Spin The Same Old Yarn

, , , , | | Right | July 11, 2019

(I’m working on the register when an older gentleman approaches me with a bag in hand. He sets it on the counter and produces a skein of yarn, saying he originally purchased too many and needs to return it.)

Me: “Okay. Do you have your original receipt?”

Customer: “No, I don’t have that. I paid cash for it.”

Me: “We can still do the return, I just can’t guarantee you’ll get back the full amount since there’s no way to tell if you used a coupon or got it on sale. It would also be for store credit.”

Customer: “Or you can just keep it.”

Me: *confused* “Keep it? I don’t…”

Customer: “Just take it.”

Me: “I… I’ve never had someone ask to do this before. I think I still need to process it through the computer.”

(I call for my manager over the radio, since I would need her, anyway, to get a merchandise return card, which are kept in a locked drawer. By this point, the customer is halfway to the door and the yarn is still in front of me.)

Customer: “No, it’s all right. You just keep it. I don’t need it.”

(He exited the store, and about five seconds after he disappeared, my manager showed up. I explained what had just happened, and she was just as puzzled as I was.)

Render Unto Caesar

, , , , , | | Right | July 11, 2019

My coworker is serving a couple who just came for a coffee. Their bill comes to 16zł. They put exactly 16zł in coins on their table along with an envelope with printed, “Open to see God’s plan for you!”

My coworker huffs and collects the money, then rips the envelope in half.

Two halves of a 100zł bill fall out.

Cigarettes Are Nasty But You Don’t Have To Be

, , , , , | | Right | July 10, 2019

(I am the customer here. The convenience store I go to can’t break a $50 and I don’t have any other cash. I go to the tobacco store next door.)

Me: “Hey, can you break a $50 for me? They didn’t have change next door.”

Cashier: “Yeah, what did you want to buy there?”

Me: “Just two packs of [Cigarettes].”

Cashier: “Well, you can buy those here.”

Me: “Yeah, but they’re cheaper next door…”

(It suddenly dawns on me how terrible I’m being.)

Me: “Can I just have two packs of [Cigarettes]?”

Mean Girls Go North

, , , , , | | Right | July 8, 2019

(I live in Canada. I’m standing behind a young girl buying some pop and candy when her two friends push in front of me to buy items after her. I don’t say anything, but I sort of roll my eyes; I am used to it as I live in a small town that is flooded with tourists in the summer.)

Young Girl: “You don’t take American money?”

Cashier: “No, I’m sorry, we aren’t set up for it. Not all stores here do.”

Young Girl: “Well, what ones do?”

Cashier: “I’m not sure really.”

(She continues to ring the items through and I pipe up since I know some of the stores that do.)

Me: “[Store #1] does, as well as [Store #2].”

(The kids don’t acknowledge me, so I stop trying to be helpful.)

Young Girl: “You charge for bags?”

Cashier: “Yes, it’s a five-cent charge for each plastic bag.”

(The young girls all gave her a dirty look and left, leaving their cart right in front of me so I had to push it into the bagging area before the cashier could serve me. It’s exceedingly frustrating because I am married to an American, and I hate it when someone makes them all look like jerks. Later I found out there were about 30 of these girls and their parents in town for a short stay. Lovely.)

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