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Don’t Expect Change Until You Can Make Change

, , , , , , | Right | June 23, 2022

Way back in the early 1980s, this guy would almost daily take the same bus, and at the exact same departure time, too.

A single fare back then was two Danish kroner. He’d always try to pay with a five-hundred-krone note, but because the drivers didn’t have that kind of change, and because the banknote WAS legal tender, the guy would always get a free ride.

That is, until word reached the dispatch manager one day. Said manager drained the office safe for as many coins as he could find — the smaller the denomination, the better. The next day, the jerk tried to pull the same stunt. Imagine the combined smugness and glee on the face of the driver who could now report:

Driver: “Oh, good news, sir! I can actually break that for you today!”

The jerk ended up receiving:
12 x 20 kr. (240 kr.)
15 x 10 kr. (150 kr.)
19 x 5 kr. (95 kr.)
20 x 0.25 kr. (5 kr.)
20 x 0.10 kr. (2 kr.)
12 x 0.50 kr. (6 kr.)
TOTAL: 498 kr.

All his pockets were about to burst, and he rattled like a knight in shining armour walking down the aisle to find a seat. The jerk never tried to pull that stunt again.

We Still Don’t Think She Gets It

, , , , , , | Right | June 23, 2022

Customer: “Can I split the payment evenly over these two cards?”

Me: “Normally, I could, but these two cards have different names.”

Customer: “Oh, this one is my daughter’s.”

Me: “Is she here?”

Customer: “Of course not. That’s why I have her card.”

Me: “I can’t accept payment on her card without her being present.”

Customer: “Well, why not?!”

Me: “That would be fraud, ma’am.”

Customer: “And that’s… bad?”

Me: “Yes, ma’am, it could mean jail time.”

Customer: “Well, put it all on my daughter’s card, then. Some jail time would do her good.”

I Don’t Agree With Taxes, But I Still Gotta Pay ‘Em

, , , | Right | June 22, 2022

I received payment five months late, minus the late fees, and with a note attached.

Client: “I appreciate your work and I apologize for the lateness; however, we did not agree to be charged these late fees, so we will not be paying them.”

I responded:

Me: “I appreciate the payment for the original invoice. However, we did agree that you would pay me five months ago. As a result, I’ve attached an invoice with the late fees.”

Cents-lessly Arguing Over The Cost, Part 2

, , , , , , | Right | June 21, 2022

I used to work at a fast food restaurant. We advertised for several weeks that our prices would be going up a few cents on certain items due to the minimum wage going up.

The day after the prices changed, a grumpy regular comes to my register.

Me: “Hi, welcome to—”

Customer: “Here.” *Slams a few coins on the table* “Get my food.”

Me: “Okay, one senior coffee and one sausage muffin sandwich. Your total is $1.60.”

Customer: “It’s $1.50, girl. What did you do wrong?”

Me: “Nothing, sir. Your total is $1.60.”

Customer: “No, it’s $1.50.”

Me: “One senior coffee and one sausage muffin sandwich?”

Customer: “Yes.”

Me: “Yup. $1.60.”

Customer: “Get your manager!”

I call for the manager.

Manager: “Hi there. I heard you have a question?”

Customer: “This dumb child is overcharging me.”

Manager: “Ah, I see. Our prices recently went up, so—”

Customer: “Well, that’s too bad for you. My breakfast is $1.50 and I’m not paying one penny more.”

Manager: “Okay, sir. Feel free to take something off your order, then.”

She walks away.

Customer: “I’m not paying more for the same food.”

Me: “I understand, sir. I’ll void your transaction.”

Customer: “It’s ten d*** cents! Just give it to me.”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, I won’t have my drawer be off. If I allowed it for you, I would have to allow it for everyone.”

Customer: “But—”

Me: “Will there be anything else?”

Customer: “Give me the coffee.”

Me: “Okay. Fifty-five cents, please.”

Customer: “Have your money, you f****** grubby brat.”

Me: “Thank you, sir.”

I pour his coffee. He takes a sip and then smiles.

Customer: “Doesn’t taste more expensive.”

He poured the coffee onto the countertop, narrowly missing the register and me. My manager chased him out of the store, telling him he would be arrested for trespassing if he ever came back.

As a young girl at my first job, it didn’t occur to me that he could have been poor or homeless or have some kind of mental health issues that contributed to him acting that way. Now, I am more aware of these things… but I still think he was probably just a d**k.

Cents-lessly Arguing Over The Cost

Thou Shalt Not Need To Return Books On Time

, , , | Right | June 20, 2022

A lady has been fined for the late return of her and her kids’ books.

Patron: “I shouldn’t have to pay the fine!”

Me: “Why not, ma’am?”

Patron: “Because my husband is the pastor at the local church!”