Unable To Change Someone That Stupid

, , , , , , , | Working | February 10, 2019

(I work in a store that is next to a fast food restaurant. One day I go to the fast food place for lunch with a coworker who really hates stupidity. My coworker places his order, and it comes to $10.35. He gives the cashier a $20 bill and ¢35 in coin. The cashier looks at him in total confusion.)

Cashier: “Why did you give me the ¢35?”

Coworker: “So you don’t have to give me any change, just the bill.”

Cashier: “You don’t want your change?”

Coworker: “You just need to give me a $10 bill now, instead of giving me a lot of coins.”

Cashier: “So, you don’t want your change?”

(This goes on for another minute.)

Coworker: *getting very frustrated* “Just type exactly what I gave you into your till.”

(She does, and the till tells her to give back $10. She gives him his change, and he gets his food and leaves, very angry. After he is gone, I hear this while I’m waiting for my food.)

Cashier: “What a moron, says he doesn’t want his change, leaving me to think I’m getting a good tip. Then leaves nothing.”

(I then saw the cashier’s coworkers shake their heads. I got my food, went back to work, and told my coworker what happened after he left. He made a complaint later on and got three free meals, and we never saw that cashier again.)

Not Banking On This Level Of Stupidity

, , , , , | Right | February 8, 2019

(I work in an airport.)

Me: “Okay, so, you declared that you have more than $10,000 dollars on your person.”

Passenger: “Yes. It’s for work; I’m a television producer.”

(After a few more questions and proof of the validity of the money, I decide to take him into a room to count it.)

Me: “I’m going to take you to a secure counting room to count it all.”

Passenger: “What? It’s just on my card.”

Me: “What?”

(The passenger takes out his credit card and waves it.)

Passenger: “I have more than $10,000 in the bank.”

Young People Working These Shifts Are A Steal

, , , , , | Right | February 7, 2019

I work as a supervisor at a coffee shop. One evening a customer called to say that she had left money in the store when she had come in earlier, to the tune of several hundred dollars, which she was apparently carrying around in cash, but could not afford to lose. I dutifully searched the entire store and could not find anything and told her, “Sorry, it just isn’t here.”

I thought that would be the end of it, but she proceeded to come in person shortly thereafter to repeat how desperately she needed that money found and make me search the entire store again. When I again could not locate her money, she repeatedly insinuated that we must have stolen it, since “we don’t make very much here”– her words. She demanded to see the camera footage, and was told no — we can’t even watch the footage ourselves at the store — and finally left in a huff, still apparently certain that we had stolen her money since we’re all just shifty, young, and poor. The whole episode took at least an hour, while we were trying to complete all our closing tasks.

Hey, she was right about one thing: I don’t make very much. But I also don’t lose it all by carrying it around in cash and leaving it somewhere, so guess I came out on top there.

Trying Not To Be Too Negative About This

, , , , | Right | February 4, 2019

(I work for a large credit union at a call center and I speak to some pretty… simple people during the course of my day. Some are worse than others. We also have a type of overdraft protection that can be signed up for, where our members are allowed to go into the negative on their account by up to $500. This particular member, a woman in her 50s, has that service.)

Me: “Hello! Thank you for calling [Credit Union]. My name is [My Name]. How may I assist you today?”

Member: “I need to know my balance.”

Me: “Absolutely, I’ll be happy to help with that.” *goes over the info and pulls up her account* “I see that your balance right now is negative $465.76.”

Member: “That’s not right! I just deposited $500 at the bank.”

Me: “Yes, ma’am, but before that, you were maxed out on your overdraft at negative $500. When you paid that back by making your deposit, that made your balance zero. Since that deposit earlier yesterday, you’ve done a purchase at [Store] for $25.76 and an ATM withdrawal of $400. After your purchases, you were at negative $425.76, and for each transaction, you received one $20 overdraft fee, per our overdraft policy, which made your account negative $465.76.”

Member: “I still just don’t understand. I should be in the positive; I just made a deposit into this account!”

Me: “Do you remember making a purchase at [Store] and the ATM withdraw?”

Member: “Yes, that was me.”

Me: “And you did those before or after your deposit at the branch?”

Member: “After, ’cause I didn’t have any money in the bank before.”

Me: “Okay, so, prior to your deposit you had negative $500. The last transaction before that, you wrote out a check for $480, which made your account negative, plus the $20 overdraft fee.”

Member: “Yes, that’s right; that was my rent.”

Me: “Great, so, you wrote your check and your account became negative $500. You made a $500 deposit, which made your balance zero. You made an ATM withdrawal and you made a Store] purchase, drawing your account back into the negative.”

Member: “I just still don’t understand.”

Adult Son: *in the background* “MOM. STOP. BEING. STUPID.”

Me: *trying not to grin* “Ma’am, why do you believe you this balance is incorrect?”

Member: “Well, I just made a deposit the other day!”

Adult Son: “Oh, my God, MOM! STOP BEING SO DUMB!”

Member: “I just don’t get it!”

Me: “Ma’am, I don’t know how else to explain it to you except this: negative $500 plus $500 equals zero. Yes, you made a deposit, but it didn’t give you a positive balance. Then you made purchases off your account, which made you negative again. These are all correct purchases, per you, so the balance is correct.”

Member: “I’m just going to have to go into a bank because I still just don’t understand. That balance isn’t right!”

Adult Son: “Mom! Negative $5 plus $5 equals zero! She’s right and you just aren’t listening!”

Member: “I’m still not sure about this.”

Adult Son & I: *sigh*

(Once I was finished with that call, I let my team know that I had spent fifteen minutes explaining how negative $500 plus $500 equals zero. The newbies didn’t believe that I’d spoke with someone that dumb, but I told them next time I’d just transfer the call to them — for practice!)

Needs Some Transfer Of Knowledge

, , , , | Right | February 3, 2019

(The following exchange happens to my coworker, but I am less than ten feet away and have no customers of my own, so I hear everything firsthand.)

Coworker: “Good morning. Can I help you?”

Customer: “Yes, I want you to explain something to me.” *pulls out bank statement* “You charged me an overdraft fee on my checking account, and I want it reversed. I’ve never had a zero balance. I’ve been close, but it’s never been zero.”

Coworker: “Let me take a look at this.”

Customer: “See here?” *points* “You charged me a $12.47 overdraft fee. It shouldn’t have happened. You transferred $500 out of my account on [date], when it should have been $400. I’m trying to balance my account, and I’m $100 short. You took my money, and I need it back.”

Coworker: “Well, first of all, the overdraft fee is $29.00, not $12.47. What you’re seeing here is an overdraft transfer. You are signed up for overdraft protection, so when your balance gets to zero, it pulls from your savings account. This is just taking $12.47 from your savings and putting it into your checking. We didn’t take any money from you.”

Customer: “Well, it shouldn’t have happened in the first place! What about the $100? Where did that go?”

Coworker: “Again, we didn’t take any money. The $500 was transferred from your checking to your savings, so it was always in one of your accounts.”

Customer: “But it was supposed to be $400, not $500! One of you screwed up!”

Coworker: “I can just transfer $100 back if you want. And… wait a minute… Let me look at this for a sec… This says the transfer was done online.”

Customer: “No, one of you did it.”

Coworker: “Ma’am, it shows right here. The transfer was done online through home banking. We don’t have any access to your account online, so there is no way we could have done anything.”

Me: *cutting in* “You should have received an email confirming the transfer. I know I get one every time I do a transfer online. And you can check your transaction history online, too.”

Customer: *realizing she made a mistake* “Oh… Maybe I did do that… Okay, yes, please transfer the $100 back into the account. Thanks. Bye.” *leaves*

Me: “And this is why we can’t do telephone transfers anymore…”

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