Friendship Comes With Safety Padding

, , , , , , , | Friendly | November 9, 2017

(After lunch one of my friends comes running up to me and pulls me off to the bathroom. She looks worried, so I ask what’s wrong.)

Friend: *embarrassed* “Well, I started my period today and I don’t have any pads! I had some in my purse but my sister must have stolen them!”

Me: *relieved* “Oh, okay. I’ve got some in my purse.”

(I pull one out and hand it to her. She takes it and dashes into a stall. When she comes back out, she still looks worried.)

Me: “What’s wrong, [Friend]? It must be more than your period.”

Friend: *suddenly blurts* “I’m out of pads at home!”

Me: “Why don’t you tell your mom? I’m sure she’ll buy them for you.”

Friend: *shaking her head* “No, she won’t!”

Me: *stunned* “What?! Why not?!”

Friend: “Well, [Friend’s Sister] and I get an allowance of $20 every month for our ‘essentials,’ like toothpaste, feminine products, razors, deodorant… you get the idea. Our mom got the idea to do it to teach us how to budget.” *sighs* “Problem is, the cost of stuff has gone up since my mom started doing this, and she hasn’t increased our allowance, so it’s not enough any more. Usually my sister and I run out of something or other and have to do without until we get our allowance again.”

Me: “That’s terrible!” *I pull the other half dozen pads out of my purse and give them to her* “Stick those in your purse.” *pause* “Can you use scented pads?”

Friend: *frowns* “Yeah, why?”

Me: *smiling* “Good! I’ll bring you a whole box of them tomorrow!”

Friend: “You don’t—”

Me: *holding up one hand to silence her* “Yes, I do. Besides, I grabbed them by mistake a couple months ago, and I can’t use them because the scent makes my butt break out in a rash.”

(My friend bursts into tears and laughter at the same time.)

Friend: *sniffling* “I’m sorry! I’m just so happy you’re going to bring me pads, but at the same time, that butt rash story was TMI!” *giggles*

(That wasn’t the last time I had to bring pads to that friend. I used to sneak them to her when I’d stay the weekend, because if her mom saw me giving them to her, she lectured me, saying her daughter “needed to learn better money management.”)

This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 68

, , , | Right | November 8, 2017

(I work in a farm store that also sells lawn equipment. We offer financing, and I oversee that department. One day a young man and his wife come in and express interest in financing a new zero-turn mower. I ask for identification and a secondary form of ID and get started entering the application into my computer. When I finish, I hit print so the customer can sign the paper copy, and then hit submit. By the time I return from the printer, I see that the application has been denied. I convey this to the customer.)

Customer: “What? There’s no way! I have excellent credit!”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir; I’m not allowed to know why the application has been denied.” *I turn the computer screen to face the customer* “It only displays a denial, not the reason for the decline. The lender will send you something official in writing within a few days. This isn’t the end of the road, however; we can still accept cash or check, or you may wish to apply for a loan through your bank.”

Customer: “This is bulls***! My credit score is in the 800s and I’ve never made a late payment! All my stuff is paid off, even! Call your boss and push this through, now!”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir; even if I did call the manager over, he has no authority to override the decision of a bank that is not connected to our store. Although you’re filling out the application here, the ultimate decision goes through a separate lender.”

Customer: “Well, get on the phone and call the lender, then. Get this straightened out! I don’t have bad credit! I don’t have bad credit! There has to be some simple reason why I was declined. You probably didn’t enter my information correctly!”

Me: *double-checking his ID against what I entered* “I keyed everything in correctly.” *shows the customer a copy, which he barely scans through* “I’d be happy to call the lender for you, however.”

(I dial the lender, go through the prompts, and get a customer service representative on the phone. I explain the situation, and although the exact reasons for the decline are between the customer and the bank, the rep hints that it’s a debt to income issue. I hang up the phone.)

Customer: *incredulously* “Well, did that settle it? I can get the mower, right?”

Me: “Sir, by any chance have you financed anything else recently?”

Customer: “Well… yeah. Let me see… I got a new truck three weeks ago to pull our new boat, we just closed on our house Friday, my wife got a new washer and dryer, and she got a different car maybe a month ago? Why? What difference does that make?”

Has A Masters In Millennial Problems

, , , , | Working | November 7, 2017

(I graduated a few years ago, but due to the “experience problem” still haven’t managed to find a suitable job. Currently, I’m doing uneducated hospitality work, like catering, banqueting, etc. in a congress centre. One morning, I have a conversation about all and nothing with a colleague.)

Me: “Well, I like being treated like an adult, you know? I mean, my age and my master grade might be signs that I am an adult, don’t you think?”

Coworker: “You have a grade?”

Me: “Yes, university.”

Coworker: “Then, what are you doing here?”

Me: “Earning actual money.”

The Only Digging Is Into The Hole You Made Yourself

, , , , , , , | Friendly | November 6, 2017

(My boyfriend and I are going out for dinner. I’m currently a full-time student, so we’re living on his salary until I finish school and start my job. The bill comes and he goes to pay it when another customer, who’s been glowering at us all this time, decides to jump in.)

Stranger: “Letting her man pay for everything! Gold-digger.”

(We both freeze, and I look over at him.)

Me: “Not that it’s really any of your business, but I’m still in school. I’ll start paying for things as soon as I start making money.”

Stranger: *mocking* “Oh, and what are you studying? Flower arranging? Interior design? You’re going to be mooching off your man forever. This is what’s wrong with the world! You need to go out and get a real job instead of being a gold-digging freeloader!”

(My boyfriend decides to jump in.)

Boyfriend: “Actually, she’s a medical student. We’re out celebrating because she just found out she got her residency at [Prestigious Local Hospital], and she’ll be starting there as soon as she finishes up her last round of rotations. Give it a few years, and she’ll making… probably four times what I do.” *laughing* “If anything, I’m the gold-digger; I’m just doing it preemptively!”

(The guy goes red and can’t make eye contact, while my boyfriend and I start affectionately arguing about whether it’s possible be a preemptively gold-digger, or whether that’s just investment in your partner’s career. When the waitress comes to collect our check a minute later, she brings us a couple slices of chocolate cake, as well.)

Boyfriend: “Oh, we didn’t order these.”

Waitress: “Yeah, I know. On the house. Congratulations on getting a good residency, and good job handling that jerk! That was the best laugh I’ve had all night.” *raising her voice just a little, and winking at us* “Some people just can’t keep their noses out of other people’s business.”

(The guy went even redder, and we both thanked her profusely. Great way to end the night!)

A Minimum Understanding On Minimum Wage

, , , , , | Right | November 3, 2017

Me: “Thank you for calling [Store]. How may I help you today?”

Customer: “Do you guys cash payroll checks?”

Me: “Sometimes; it depends. May I ask how much it is?”

Customer: “Two hundred and sixty.”

Me: “Well, that’s actually more than we’re allowed to cash in this store. I’m sorry, but we can’t.”

Customer: “What? No? You can’t? How much is your limit?”

Me: “Nope. We can’t. Our limit is about two hundred dollars, even.”

Customer: *angrily* “That’s ridiculous! Who only makes two hundred dollars on a paycheck?! Nobody gets paid that little! Who would only get that? This is stupid!”

Me: “Honestly, sir, a lot of the people in this store only make about two hundred dollars.”

Customer: *goes quiet for a minute, then sounds very sad when he starts talking again* “I am so… Oh, my God. I’m sorry. I didn’t know. Oh, my God.” *click*

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