This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 69

, , , , , | Right | September 26, 2017

Me: “Your total is $31.39. You can insert your card when you’re ready.”

(The customer inserts her card, and it’s declined.)

Me: “Sorry, your card was declined. Do you want to try another card?”

(The customer tries the same card and it’s once again declined.)

Customer: “So, am I good?”

Me: “No, sorry. It was declined again.”

Customer: “…”

Me: “…”

Customer: “I don’t get it.”

Me: “Your card was declined. You’ll have to call your bank if you think it’s a mistake. It may have a protection on it.”

(The customer hands me the card.)

Me: “I can’t do anything on my end. You’ll have to call your bank.”

Customer: “But it’s all the way in [Next Town Over].”

Me: “You can just call them, and I’ll hold your things.”

Customer: *pulls out cash, but not enough to cover all of it* “What about if I just buy one? How much is one?”

Me: “You can do that; just let me know which one to take off. If you buy one, it’ll be $15 plus tax.”

Customer: “…”

Me: “Which color would you like?”

Customer: “So, now what? What do I do?”

Me: “You need to choose a color.”

Customer: “…”

Me: “Blue or black?”

Customer: “…”

Me: “I need to void one of these items in order to finish the transaction.”

(The customer stays quiet for a few moments, as she processes this life or death decision.)

Customer: “I want the black one.”

Me: *quickly takes payment and waits for the customer to leave before turning to my coworker, who witnessed it all* “Are my ears bleeding?”

Just Slide Right Past Your Instructions

, , , , , | Right | September 25, 2017

(I work at a pharmacy where patients are asked to give their signature for insurance purposes, indicating that they have picked up their prescriptions, before they make their payment. Here is the basic conversation, all day, every day, at the pick-up counter.)

Cashier: “Before you swipe your card, can you please press ‘next’ on the screen and sign that you are picking up your medications?”

Customer: “Okay!” *swipes card anyway, then presses ‘next’ and signs*

Cashier: *annoyed* “Okay, you can slide your card now.”

Customer: *angry* “I already slid my card!”

Cashier: *rolls eyes* “Yes, but as I was saying, you need to press ‘next’ and sign first, and then slide your card. If you slide before signing, the terminal will not read your card.”

Customer: “Oh, okay! Well, I hope I don’t get charged twice!”

Cashier: *even more annoyed* “You won’t; trust me.”

(Customer slides card.)

Cashier: “Okay, now I need your signature for the purchase.”

Customer: “But I already signed!”

Cashier: *deep sigh*

Cents-less Mathematics

, , , , , , | Working | September 24, 2017

(I am working at a sandwich shop part time, and having been there longer than most of the other staff, the general manager trusts me to know all of the cash register balancing procedures, and even train new managers, even though I don’t have the clearance to do the steps myself. A sandwich costs $7. Chips alone cost $1.50, and soda alone costs $2. Chips and drink combo added to the meal costs $2.50. I accidentally ring a guy up for the sandwich and his chips, but forget to hand him a cup and ring him out for a drink. [We were chatting, and we got distracted.] Rather than swipe his credit card again, he has a dollar ready in-hand, but in order to finish the transaction I need a manager override, which requires the manager to open the drawer with a fingerprint scanner. [Welcome to the future, guys.] I call over the manager on duty, a new hire, and explain the situation.)

Me: “He wants to add a drink to make it a meal, so he owes us a dollar for the cup. All we have to do is open a manager override, do a price override so the soda costs $1 instead of $2, and in the manager notes select ‘Customer Satisfaction.’”

Manager On Duty: *brushes me off* “I’ve got this.” *to the customer* “Sir, I need your credit card.”

(She swipes his card, refunds the whole transaction, swipes his card again, and charges the total of the chips and the sandwich. Then she swipes his card again to refund the order, leaves to grab a calculator, adds a bunch of numbers together, rings up the order with the sandwich and chips again, and stares, dumbfounded, at the computer. The whole process takes about five minutes. All the while, the customer and I are just staring at each other and at her in silence.)

Me: “[Manager], the difference is one dollar—”

Manager On Duty: “I said I got this. Uh… that will be forty cents, please.”

(The customer hands her his dollar and gets sixty cents back in change.)

Me: “Why did you–“

Manager On Duty: *waving her hand dismissively* “You just don’t get it. It’s simple math. I’ll explain it later.”

(She never did explain it…)

Mother Might Need To Be Enlightened On The Subject

, , , | Related | September 24, 2017

(My mother really likes Buddha statuettes. She has been talking about how much she likes them and how much she wants one, when one of our local stores sends out a flyer that shows a couple of Buddha statuettes they will be selling next week. I bring the flyer to my mother to show her.)

Me: “Hey, [Store] is going to be selling Buddha statuettes next week.”

Mother: “I know. I really like them, but I can’t afford to spend that kind of money.”

Me: “Which one do you like the most? The one with the spiky thing on its head or the one without?”

Mother: “I like the one with the spike the most.”

(A few days pass and then Monday arrives. On my way home from school I walk into the store in question, find the statuettes, and get the one my mother said she liked the most. I place it on her desk once I’m home and then immediately go to my room to take a nap. A few hours later, my mother wakes me up for dinner. I go join my parents in the kitchen.)

Mother: “How did you pay for that Buddha?”

(I’m a bit surprised, as I don’t understand what she’s asking, and I had expected her to seem at least a little bit happy with the statuette.)

Me: “Um, with money?”

Mother: “Your money or my money?”

Me: “My money.”

Mother: “So, how much do you want from me?”

Me: “What?”

Mother: “How much do I owe you?”

Me: “Nothing. It’s a gift.”

Mother: “Oh. Well… Thank you!”

(I have no idea why she thought I would have paid for it with her money, or how I would even get my hands on her money. At least that explains why she didn’t seem happy at all at first. After dinner I heard her happily announce, “I have a Buddha!” to herself from time to time, so I know she appreciated the gift after all.)

Minimum Balance For Maximum Charge

, , , , | Working | September 23, 2017

I used to work at a bank as a teller, then in their main offices. During this time I did not do my personal banking with them. While I was working there, they started an initiative to get all the employees to move their accounts from their old banks to them. As a reward, they would “be able to expedite the processing of paychecks,” so we would get paid a whopping one day earlier.

The only problem was, this same bank severely underpaid its staff and, because this particular bank was made for higher-end customers, the employees would never be able to meet the minimum-balance requirements. Sadly, not every employee saw through this obvious trap, and they were hit with a lot of minimum balance charges.

This was only one of many ways in which this particular business tried to screw over its own employees.

Remember, if you work for a larger company, always take what they tell you with a grain of salt. Their priority is money, nothing else.

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