My father works as a notary and has had a lot of clients who were naïve or ignorant or clearly overestimated their own intelligence, but there’s one tale that stuck with me.

There was a woman trying to sell a house to a small family. The woman had already acted pretty badly by trying to negotiate a price split with the family in order to pay for my father’s services, which is poor form, but things came to a head when she presented the contract for revision to my father. It did not mention at any point that the house she was selling was a mortgage’s collateral, something that by law has to be mentioned. Thinking it was a mistake, my father looked at the woman.

Father: “Mrs. [Woman], I regrettably have to inform you that the current contract does not specify that the real estate piece you are trying to sell is currently mortgaged.”

Client: “Yes, I am aware. I would like to present this to Mr. and Mrs. [Family] regardless.”

Father: “I am sorry, but by law, you are required to signal in the contract any defects, either hidden or plainly visible, as well as mortgages or liens involved that the house may have.”

Client: *Whispering and scooting her chair closer* “I know. But would this sir be willing to let it slide for 500€?”

My father burst into laughter, only to get stone-faced-serious as soon as he noticed that the woman both had a 500€ note in her hand and was looking at him with bemusement.

Father: “Absolutely not. I am not going to throw away years of sacrifices and a job like this for 500€. Get out of this studio, now.”

The woman did so, storming out in silence.

For anyone unaware, 500€ is equivalent to half the price of a fairly good house-selling deed writing, and notaries do that kind of thing essentially every day. On top of that, to become a notary, you have to go through a very difficult law exam that takes years to study for, and you can be permanently removed from the position for infractions that would otherwise be minor.

Even though it wasn’t a requirement, my dad wasted no time in warning the family that the house was mortgaged and that the seller was being dishonest. He didn’t hear from either party after, but I like to imagine that woman is to this day still unsuccessfully trying to bribe notaries to look away for what they make in barely an afternoon’s work.

I was waiting for my girlfriend to finish work at a pawn shop. I was chatting with her manager about customer service when a young man walked in with a pair of shoes.

Customer: “I’d like to sell these [Brand] shoes.”

Girlfriend: “Okay. Do you have the box and documents?”

Customer: “No, the guy who was here last time told me I could sell them for $50.”

Manager: “Sorry, we won’t accept [Brand] shoes without paperwork since there are too many fakes on the market.”

Customer: “That’s f****** ridiculous! You’re gonna lose out on $1,000 shoes?!”

Manager: “I mean, you wanted $50 for them. Kinda suspicious, don’t you think?”

The man then turned in a huff and left.

I work at a shoe store that is part of a large chain with locations all over the country. I am at the register, and this woman brings in a pair of shoes that she wants to exchange for a bigger size.

Me: “Okay, no problem. Can I see the receipt?”

Customer: “I lost it.”

Again, not a problem. I ask her for her driver’s license as per our no-receipt return policy, she gives it to me, and I manually input the price of the shoes she was returning.

I scan the pair that she wants to buy, and the difference is $2.19 because of taxes. She seems confused.

Me: “We can’t do an even exchange because of taxes.”

Customer: “But I live in [Neighboring County], and the taxes are the same there.”

Me: “The tax is dependent on where you bought the shoes, and since we don’t have the receipt, we can’t verify whether or not you paid the tax because we don’t know which store you purchased them from. Therefore, we can only refund you the listed price of the shoes, and you will still have to pay tax because this location taxes every purchase. I am very sorry for the confusion, but I have no control over this.”

Customer: “The two dollars aren’t the problem. You’re the problem.”

At this point, I am both shocked and pissed off

Me: “What have I done wrong, ma’am?”

I don’t remember exactly what she said, but I think it was something along the lines of, “I live in [Neighboring County] where taxes are the same.” I continued to try and explain that where she lived had nothing to do with how much she got taxed and that I also had no say in the matter and there was nothing I could do. She inserted her card but continued to rant about how I was the problem.

I’m not perfect at my job, but I’m pretty sure I was very much not the problem in this case.

Related:
Taxing Taxing, Part 17
Taxing Taxing, Part 16
Taxing Taxing, Part 15
Taxing Taxing, Part 14
Taxing Taxing, Part 13

I work in a convenience store. One morning, a guy came in right after I opened and gave me a hundred-dollar bill for a forty-dollar purchase. I don’t start with a lot of cash in my drawer, and his change would have taken half my fives and tens.

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but I don’t have enough cash to give you your change and keep my drawer full. Do you have any smaller bills?”

He had a cow.

Customer #1: “Absolutely not! I’m not going anywhere until you give me my sixty dollars!”

I didn’t have many tens and fives, but I did have a lot of ones. So, I gave him fifty ones and two fives. The look on his face when I handed him that big wad of bills was priceless. He tried to argue with me, and I simply told him that that was the best I could do.

On a different day, I had a woman come in.

Customer #2: “I need change for a twenty. I need a ten and two fives.”

Me: “I’m sorry, but my drawer is wiped.”

To get around that, she bought something for a dollar to force me to break it. I gave her the change in all ones. She just stared at me like she thought maybe I was joking, but I just shrugged back at her. She didn’t say a word as she left with a handful of ones.

My husband and I are first-time parents and are attending a CPR and first aid class. The instructor is going over what to do if a baby or child is having a seizure. He also goes into depth on when you should take your baby or child to the emergency room.

Another parent raises his hand.

Man: “Yeah, but what if you take them to the ER and it’s nothing?”

Instructor: “Pardon?”

Man: “Like, if they have a seizure, and you take them to the ER and they do tests, but it ends up being nothing? Then I have an ER bill to pay for nothing.”

The instructor is silent for a moment.

Instructor: “Would you rather take your child to the ER and have it be nothing and be stuck with an ER bill, or would you rather it be something but not take your child to the ER and have a funeral bill?”

The parent was pretty quiet for the remainder of the class.