At Least It’s Still Just A Penny For Your Thoughts

, , , , | Healthy | January 24, 2018

(I am in line waiting to pick up a prescription. The customer at the register is taking longer than usual. The worker tells him to step to the side while they try to sort out the problem. I overhear this between the man who is picking up the prescription and his friend.)

Friend: “It’s only three dollars.”

Man: “I ain’t got that kind of money. Do you know anybody with that kind of money? These is crazy times we live in.”

You Can’t Buy Trust

, , , , , | Working | January 22, 2018

(I work at an extremely popular chain bakery and cafe. We have recently gotten a new manager: a woman who has been bounced from cafe to cafe because of all the complaints that have been filed against her by employees and other managers. The company refuses to fire her because she is very good with customers and receives glowing reviews from them. A customer comes up to me in the middle of lunch rush.)

Customer: “Excuse me? All of the paper towels are out in the women’s bathroom.”

(I run off to get the paper towel dispenser key, which is kept in the office. I try to get in, but find the door locked. I go up to the new manager, who is swamped with sandwich orders.)

Me: “[Manager]? I need the bathroom keys, but they’re locked in the office. Can I borrow your keys to go get them?”

Manager: “No.”

Me: “I… What?”

Manager: “No, you cannot. There’s money in the office, and nobody is allowed in there when there is money in there.”

(This is correct, but only in stores that do not have cameras installed in the office. Ours, however, does have a camera installed.)

Me: “[Manager], we don’t have to follow that rule here. Please? I only need the keys for a second, and I can see through the office door that the only money that isn’t locked in the safe is change. It probably totals about $10 at the most.”

Manager: “No. I don’t trust you. Wait here while I finish what I’m doing, and then we will get them together.”

(I am taken aback. Not only have I not given this manager any reason not to trust me, but I also know that the general manager holds me in high regard, and that I have a reputation for being an extremely trustworthy person. Nonetheless, I stand and wait for her to finish the five or so sandwiches on her board. While standing there, I am approached by no less than five more customers, all telling me that the paper towels are out. Finally, the manager finishes.)

Manager: *unlocking the door* “All right, tell me where the keys are.”

(I move towards the doorway, fully intending to grab the keys myself. She SLAMS the door in my face, and yells through the door.)

Manager: “Tell me where they are!”

Me: “Do you see the tan box on the wall?”

Manager: “No.”

Me: “It’s a tan metal box with a lock on it. There’s a keychain hanging off of the knob with three skulls on it. It’s right next to the door. Do you see it?”

Manager: “No.”

(I try and fail to direct her towards the keys several times before she gets flustered and opens the door. I reach around the door, open the box, pull out the keys, and close the door behind me. The only part of me that enters the office is my arm up to my shoulder, and I don’t even need to look. I also don’t come within five feet of the money the entire time. On the way back out, the manager drops this gem.)

Manager: “It’s just, I really don’t trust you around money.”

Me: *muttering under my breath* “Well, that’s going to cause an issue, because I’m a cashier.”

A Dollar For A Priceless Moment

, , , , , | Romantic | January 22, 2018

(This is a memory of my husband, as he has since passed in July. I remember how whenever we went together into a store, we always came out with over $100 worth of items. If I went in alone, it was half of that. I used to pick on him about it, banning him from going in with me. We have a new dollar store open up in the town we shop in, and we decide to go, and this happens.)

Me: “Okay, now, we are going into the dollar store. There is no way in hell you can spend over $100 in this d*** place.”

Husband: “Shouldn’t.”

(We go in and do our shopping, and lo and behold, our total is over $100. We get back out to the truck. I put our daughter in her car seat then get in the front, crossing my arms and staring at my husband. He just starts laughing.)

Me: “You’re banned from [Dollar Store]. How the h*** did you do that?!”

Husband: “I don’t know!”

Me: “I can’t take you anywhere.”

(There is a new dollar store opening up, and to be honest, I’ll miss banning him from that one.)

Legal Tender, Karma Rendered

, , , , , , , | Right | January 19, 2018

(I am manning the register soon after opening one morning. A customer makes a small purchase and offers a $100 bill to pay.)

Me: *politely* “Do you have a smaller bill, or would you like to pay with another form of payment? The change for this purchase would take a large portion of the paper money in the till.”

Customer: *smug* ” No, I want to break this bill; it is legal tender, you know.”

(I politely agree, and begin counting out fives and ones. This does not please the customer.)

Customer: “No! I want larger bills!”

Me: “I am sorry, sir; I do not have any larger bills. These are legal tender, you know.”

Customer: “Oh, never mind! I’ll pay with my credit card!”

(I politely informed him that he couldn’t do that, as the till was already open for a cash sale. The customer left, angrily stuffing the mass of bills into his wallet. I just smiled my best polite smile.)

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Can’t Argue With Your Dry Reasoning

, , , , | Working | January 10, 2018

(We have just received a pizza delivery from a large chain pizza place. One of the pizzas does not have sauce, and the other only barely does. We call in.)

Me: “Yes, we just ordered pizza and the pizzas don’t have sauce.”

Pizza Guy: *shouting across the restaurant* “They got a pizza with no sauce!”

Pizza Manager: *after getting my information* “Ma’am, I made that pizza myself. That kind of sauce is very thin and light, and hard to find. We’re putting the regulation amount of sauce on.”

(My husband takes the phone.)

Husband: “We got this order last week and the sauce was fine. Now, there isn’t any.”

Pizza Manager: “Well, since I joined the team, just recently, we’ve had to crack down on people using far too much sauce. It costs [amount] for each bottle of sauce, and putting extra on costs the store [amount], which means that the owner is losing between $500 and $600 between all his restaurants from this.”

Husband: “Then I think we will have to find a different place to get pizza.”

Pizza Manager: “I’m sorry to hear that, but remember that you can select extra sauce when you order your pizzas, at no extra charge.”

Husband: *hangs up* “Why, if it costs nothing to get extra sauce, does putting enough sauce on the pizza cost the owner hundreds of dollars?”

(We go back to eating our dry pizza.)

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