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Kilometers From Correctness

, , , , | Working | March 4, 2021

My husband and I go to a chicken fast food place famous for its Louisiana-style chicken. We go through the drive-thru and order a [Chicken Meal #1] with a side of [Side #1]. We are the only customers in the drive-thru and there is nobody inside.

Worker: “That’ll be [price]. Here’s your order, sir.”

Husband: “Thanks, ma’am.”

My husband pulls away as I start going through the order. I open the chicken container and see that it is [Chicken Meal #2].

Me: “Honey, this is [Chicken Meal #2], not [Chicken Meal #1].”

Husband: “No problem. I’ll just park here and bring it back in.”

He goes back inside the restaurant and lets a worker know. She apologizes and hands my husband a container with [Chicken Meal #1]. He comes out and gets back in the car with the correct chicken.

Husband: “Well, that was interesting. I tried to give her back the wrong chicken and she told me to keep it.”

Me: “It’s about to get more interesting. They gave us [Side #2] instead of [Side #1].”

Husband: “Are you kidding me? I’ll go back in again.”

He goes in a second time to get the correct side.

Husband: “She gave me [Side #1] and told me to keep [Side #2].”

While en route home, I realized that there was no [Bread Side], which should automatically come with the meal we ordered. Back we went. The workers were very apologetic. My husband and I found it overly amusing that an order could be messed up so badly. In the end, we ended up getting a whole bunch of chicken and a side for free.

In The Thick Of Night

, , , | Right | February 3, 2021

I work in the drive-thru during the graveyard shift for a restaurant that is known for its hand-dipped milkshakes and steak-burgers.

It’s about 2:00 am when someone pulls into the drive-thru.

Me: “Welcome to [Restaurant]. My name is [My Name]. What can I make fresh for you today?”

Customer: “Do you have drinkable milkshakes?”

I look at my coworker who is wearing a headset. I give her a “Did I just hear what I think I just heard?” look. She just throws her hands up and sighs.

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, I don’t think I heard you correctly. Could you repeat that for me?”

Customer: “I said, do you have drinkable milkshakes?”

I blink a few times before I answer.

Me: “Did… Did you ask if we had drinkable milkshakes?”

Customer: “Yes! Are they drinkable milkshakes or do I gotta eat the milkshake?”

Me: “Um… yes, sir, our milkshakes are definitely drinkable.”

Customer: “Are you sure they are the drinkable kind of milkshake? I don’t want to order it unless you are sure it’s a drinkable milkshake. I don’t like the milkshake you have to eat.”

I look over at my coworker who is trying not to laugh too loud at what we just heard. I shake my head before I answer.

Me: “Uh. Um. Y-y-yes sir. I’m 100% positive our shakes are the drinkable kind. I will even make sure they make it a little bit thinner for you if you like.”

Customer: “No, you can make it like normal. Just make sure it’s a drinkable milkshake for me. Okay?”

Me: “Yes, sir. What kind of shake would you like?”

Customer: “May I have a drinkable chocolate milkshake?”

Me: “Yes, sir. Your total is $3.29.”

After he pulled off, I walked away and started laughing. Now, anytime someone asks my coworker or me for a shake, we ask each other if it’s a DRINKABLE milkshake.

Might Make A Decent Marinade Anyway

, , , , , | Related | January 1, 2021

I’m nineteen, but I barely drink. I just don’t like it. My mom encourages me to drink, because “I’m a grownup now,” so she brings bottles of alcohol home for me occasionally.

Mom: “I can’t believe you won’t even drink anything other than a mimosa. You haven’t even opened the Kahlua I got you, and you love coffee. There’s no reason you shouldn’t like Kahlua!”

Me: “Like what?”

Mom: “Kahlua.”

Me: “Killua? Like from the anime?”

Mom: “KAHLUA…”

She gets the little brown bottle from the fridge.

Mom: “KAHLUA!”

Me: “I… I thought that was steak sauce.”

In my defense, the bottle design looks like it should be a sauce, and I don’t like sauces so I never investigated it. Also, I never thought there’d be a day where a mom begged her child to stop watching cartoons and start drinking.

Bumbling Because Of Mumbling

, , , , | Right | December 25, 2020

I work in concessions. I’m alone for this shift, and there’s a very long line.

Customer: “Can I get one small—” *mumbles* “—and one medium—” *mumbles*

The mumbles sound sort of like “popcorn,” and as this is a movie theater, I make an educated guess.

Me: “All right, I’ve got a small popcorn and a medium popcorn. Anything else for you?”

Customer: “That’s all.”

Me: “Okay, two popcorns, a small and a medium. That comes out to [total].” 

The customer pays, and I get the popcorn for them and bring it up to the counter.

Customer: “Oh, I wanted a small and a medium Icee.”

It Used To Be People Entering Gas Stations WITH A Mask Was Worrying…

, , , , | Right | December 20, 2020

I am a customer in a gas station owned by people from the Middle East. I don’t know where they’re from exactly, but English is not their first language. Our county has a mask mandate, and businesses that don’t comply will be fined $400. I’m in the back getting my energy drinks when I hear a commotion.

Cashier: “Mask, sir! Mask, please!”

Customer: *Smiling* “Nope! I don’t have to wear one.”

Cashier: *Pointing to a sign* “Mask please to be in here.”

Customer: *Still weirdly happy* “There’s no mask mandate starting today; the chamber of commerce said so. You don’t have to ask me to wear one anymore, so don’t worry about it.”

The cashier is obviously confused and trying to figure out what he means, so I jump in.

Me: *To the customer* “That’s not true; the mandate is still in effect.” *To the cashier* “He’s still saying no.”

Cashier: *Frustrated* “Mask, PLEASE!”

Customer: “No! Your boss is just making your life harder by making you ask that dumb question. Your boss is [White-Sounding Name], right? He owns all the [Gas Station]s, so he owns this one, too! I’ll call him and tell him to let me not wear my mask because I don’t have to!”

The cashier looks back at me for an explanation of what this guy’s talking about.

Me: *To the cashier* “He said he knows your boss, so he doesn’t have to wear a mask.”

Cashier: “No! I boss! We boss!” *Gestures to the backroom*

The customer looks at me. I guess I’m a translator now. Also, a small line has been forming, staring uncomfortably at this s***show.

Me: *To the customer* “This is a family-owned business. [White-Sounding Name] isn’t the owner; this man’s family is. You have to wear a mask.”

Customer: “No! I can’t believe you’re trying to make his job harder by making him enforce a stupid rule.”

Me: “He could get fined if the police saw you in here without a mask.”

Cashier: “Police? Fine? Please don’t! No police! Please! $400!”

Me: “No, it’s okay!” *To the customer* “He shouldn’t get fined because you’re being stubborn. Can’t you just pay and leave?”

Customer: “No, I want him to know he doesn’t have to—”

Me: *Finally snapping.* “THERE’S A LINE! Please! I wanna buy my drink! People want gas!”

Customer: “FINE!”

There was no “everyone clapped” moment or anything, but now they charge my energy drinks as $1.00 fountain sodas, so that’s neat, I guess.