You’re Allowed To Complain – Just Admit That’s What You’re Doing!

, , , | Right | March 27, 2021

Customer: “Do you have a comment card I can fill out?”

Me: “No, sir, but we have an online survey where you can leave comments. I am the manager on duty; how can I help?”

Customer: “Well, I’m not complaining, but our meal was terrible. The steak was way too small, and…”

Complain, complain, complain…

A friend of his walks by and says:

Customer’s Friend: “Hey, man! Great to see you! How you been doing?”

Customer: “Great, man! Too blessed to complain about anything! Good seeing you!”

The customer turns back to me.

Customer: “Anyway, my wife’s meal was bad, too. She…”

Complain, complain, complain…

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Kilometers From Correctness

, , , , | Working | March 4, 2021

My husband and I go to a chicken fast food place famous for its Louisiana-style chicken. We go through the drive-thru and order a [Chicken Meal #1] with a side of [Side #1]. We are the only customers in the drive-thru and there is nobody inside.

Worker: “That’ll be [price]. Here’s your order, sir.”

Husband: “Thanks, ma’am.”

My husband pulls away as I start going through the order. I open the chicken container and see that it is [Chicken Meal #2].

Me: “Honey, this is [Chicken Meal #2], not [Chicken Meal #1].”

Husband: “No problem. I’ll just park here and bring it back in.”

He goes back inside the restaurant and lets a worker know. She apologizes and hands my husband a container with [Chicken Meal #1]. He comes out and gets back in the car with the correct chicken.

Husband: “Well, that was interesting. I tried to give her back the wrong chicken and she told me to keep it.”

Me: “It’s about to get more interesting. They gave us [Side #2] instead of [Side #1].”

Husband: “Are you kidding me? I’ll go back in again.”

He goes in a second time to get the correct side.

Husband: “She gave me [Side #1] and told me to keep [Side #2].”

While en route home, I realized that there was no [Bread Side], which should automatically come with the meal we ordered. Back we went. The workers were very apologetic. My husband and I found it overly amusing that an order could be messed up so badly. In the end, we ended up getting a whole bunch of chicken and a side for free.

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In The Thick Of Night

, , , | Right | February 3, 2021

I work in the drive-thru during the graveyard shift for a restaurant that is known for its hand-dipped milkshakes and steak-burgers.

It’s about 2:00 am when someone pulls into the drive-thru.

Me: “Welcome to [Restaurant]. My name is [My Name]. What can I make fresh for you today?”

Customer: “Do you have drinkable milkshakes?”

I look at my coworker who is wearing a headset. I give her a “Did I just hear what I think I just heard?” look. She just throws her hands up and sighs.

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, I don’t think I heard you correctly. Could you repeat that for me?”

Customer: “I said, do you have drinkable milkshakes?”

I blink a few times before I answer.

Me: “Did… Did you ask if we had drinkable milkshakes?”

Customer: “Yes! Are they drinkable milkshakes or do I gotta eat the milkshake?”

Me: “Um… yes, sir, our milkshakes are definitely drinkable.”

Customer: “Are you sure they are the drinkable kind of milkshake? I don’t want to order it unless you are sure it’s a drinkable milkshake. I don’t like the milkshake you have to eat.”

I look over at my coworker who is trying not to laugh too loud at what we just heard. I shake my head before I answer.

Me: “Uh. Um. Y-y-yes sir. I’m 100% positive our shakes are the drinkable kind. I will even make sure they make it a little bit thinner for you if you like.”

Customer: “No, you can make it like normal. Just make sure it’s a drinkable milkshake for me. Okay?”

Me: “Yes, sir. What kind of shake would you like?”

Customer: “May I have a drinkable chocolate milkshake?”

Me: “Yes, sir. Your total is $3.29.”

After he pulled off, I walked away and started laughing. Now, anytime someone asks my coworker or me for a shake, we ask each other if it’s a DRINKABLE milkshake.

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Might Make A Decent Marinade Anyway

, , , , , | Related | January 1, 2021

I’m nineteen, but I barely drink. I just don’t like it. My mom encourages me to drink, because “I’m a grownup now,” so she brings bottles of alcohol home for me occasionally.

Mom: “I can’t believe you won’t even drink anything other than a mimosa. You haven’t even opened the Kahlua I got you, and you love coffee. There’s no reason you shouldn’t like Kahlua!”

Me: “Like what?”

Mom: “Kahlua.”

Me: “Killua? Like from the anime?”

Mom: “KAHLUA…”

She gets the little brown bottle from the fridge.

Mom: “KAHLUA!”

Me: “I… I thought that was steak sauce.”

In my defense, the bottle design looks like it should be a sauce, and I don’t like sauces so I never investigated it. Also, I never thought there’d be a day where a mom begged her child to stop watching cartoons and start drinking.

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Bumbling Because Of Mumbling

, , , , | Right | December 25, 2020

I work in concessions. I’m alone for this shift, and there’s a very long line.

Customer: “Can I get one small—” *mumbles* “—and one medium—” *mumbles*

The mumbles sound sort of like “popcorn,” and as this is a movie theater, I make an educated guess.

Me: “All right, I’ve got a small popcorn and a medium popcorn. Anything else for you?”

Customer: “That’s all.”

Me: “Okay, two popcorns, a small and a medium. That comes out to [total].” 

The customer pays, and I get the popcorn for them and bring it up to the counter.

Customer: “Oh, I wanted a small and a medium Icee.”

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