State Of The Toilets Have Been Far Purse

| VA, USA | Uncategorized

Female guest: “Excuse me. Can you tell the boys to stop peeing in the purse holders?”

Me: “I’m sorry?”

Female guest: “In the port-a-potties. Can you tell the boys to stop peeing in the purse holder?”

Me: “Do you mean the urinals?”

Technology To Shout About

| London, UK | Hall of Fame, Uncategorized

Me: “Hello sir, I’ve just come to put a microphone on you.”

Client: “I hate those things. Do I need one? I can project.”

Me: “You have an audio conference call on this event, so you need to speak into a microphone. Otherwise, people calling in won’t hear anything.”

Client: “Can’t I just shout?”

Me: “From London to Mumbai?”

Leuk Who’s Talking

| New Zealand | Uncategorized

(A lady jumps the extremely long line to see Santa.)

Lady: “Hey, do you mind if we go next? My son actually has leukemia and we need to get to the hospital to get his treatment.”

Child: “Mum, I don’t have leukemia.”

Lady: “I told you to SHUT UP!”

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