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The Estrogen Empire Strikes Back, Part 2

, , , , | Right | August 8, 2010

(A middle-aged male customer comes from the hallway of theaters and walks up to the booth.)

Customer: “Yeah, is there any way I can get a refund for this movie? Sex In The City?”

Me: “Yeah, sure. May I ask why you’d like a refund?”

Customer: “It’s… not what I thought it was gonna be.”

Related:
The Estrogen Empire Strikes Back


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Remote Chance Of A Refund

, , , , | Right | August 1, 2010

Customer: “Hi, I would like to return this TV.”

Me: “Okay, what seems to be the problem with it?”

Customer: “It doesn’t work right.”

Me: “Okay, I will just have to take a look at it. May I see your receipt?”

Customer: “You can’t look at the TV. It doesn’t work, that’s all! You need to give me my money now and send it back!”

Me: “Sir, it is store policy. I have to look at the returned item before I can give you your refund.”

(The customer stays silent. We open the box to find a remote actually stuck into the TV screen.)

Customer: “So, am I not gonna get that refund now?”


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May Also Cancel Brain Waves

, , , | Right | July 24, 2010

(I am helping a customer looking at headphones. He reads one of the tags out loud.)

Customer: “Black noise-canceling headphones. There’s such a thing as black noise?”

Me: “Sir, those are the color of the headphones.”

Customer: “Oh, because I’ve heard of that white noise. Are you sure it doesn’t just cancel the black noise?”

Too Closed For Comfort

, , , | Right | June 9, 2010

(I work for a huge, nationwide department store retailer. Our stores are rather large, and doing well.)

Customer #1: *to her friend* “Isn’t it sad? They’re closing this branch of [Store]?”

Customer #2: “Oh, really? When?”

Me: “Actually, we’re not closing. Believe me.”

Customer #1: “Yes, you are, because I read it somewhere. Was it in the newspaper?”

Me: “What makes you think that we’re closing, may I ask?”

Customer #1: “See, look!” *she gestures toward our small clearance area in the front of the store.*

Me: “Nope, that’s just our clearance area. We’re getting ready for spring.”

Customer #1: “Right, because you’re closing.”

Me: “No, ma’am. We’re the largest [Store] in the tri-state area. If we’re closing, no one at the store has been informed of it!”

Customer #1: “Wow, they didn’t tell you yet?!”


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This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 2

, , , | Right | June 2, 2010

Me: “Your total is $152.37.”

(Customer begins to write out a deposit slip from the back of her chequebook.)

Me: “That’s a deposit slip, not a cheque.”

Customer: “Oh, so I can’t pay you with this?” *confused look*

Me: “No.”

Customer: “Oh. Well, take it out of this, then.” *hands me a roll of cash* “But don’t take more than $75 out of there.”

Me: *takes $75 out of roll* “And how would you like to pay for the rest of this?”

Customer: “Umm…” *confused look* “I have to pay more?”


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