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For All Intelligence Be For Not

, , , , | Working | May 31, 2012

(My desk overlooks a private employee gathering area for a large entertainment facility. The employees will punch in/out and check their schedules in this room. They usually ask me or my office co-workers simple questions like the date or time. This question, however, was a little unusual.)

Employee: “Hey, what day is New Year’s Day?”

Me: “It’s this Sunday.”

Employee: “No, I mean like the date!”


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Parenting The Parents

, , , , , | Right | November 13, 2011

(I am a 17-year-old girl working at a Boy Scout camp. It is close to the end of the summer and I’ve gotten very used to encounters like these. The camp has motorized canoes on the river because the boys are generally too weak to row upstream. Some dads tend to abuse the canoes. This particular dad is very obnoxious.)

Dad: *jumps into canoe*

Me: “Uh, sir, we actually need to go over safety rules before you guys can start with the canoes, okay?”

Dad: *blank stare*

Me: “So… I’ll have to ask you to get out of the canoe.”

Dad: *blank stare*

Me: *more sternly* “Sir! I really need you to get out now so we can get started.”

Dad: “No! You can’t tell me what to do! Do you think I don’t know how to use a canoe?!”

Me: “Well, I’m sure you are very experienced with canoes, but some boys aren’t, so we just want to make sure everyone knows the ground rules.”

Dad: “Do you know who I am? You can’t talk to me like this! Who do you think you are to talk to me like this? Do you know who I am? I have the power to fire your a**!”

Coworker: “Whoa, hey, calm down. You don’t need to talk to her like that. She’s just doing her job.”

Dad: “She works here?! So she, like, gets… paid and stuff?”

Me: “Yes, I get paid and stuff.”

Dad: “But you’re a girl!”

Me: “Yes, I am a girl.”

Dad: “At a Boy Scout camp?! This is just wrong! You can’t work here! Who hired you? What sick freak would hire a girl to do a man’s job?!”

(I begin writing names and numbers on a piece of paper.)

Me: “Okay, if you’d like to complain to my supervisor, here’s her number. Otherwise, you can talk to the camp director; her name is Elizabeth.”

Dad: *storms off*

(Later, I found out that this same dad attempted to pop a wheelie in the canoe and was put on our “do not canoe” list.)


This story is part of our Boy Scout roundup!

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These Aren’t The Games You’re Looking For

, , , , | Right | October 10, 2011

(This takes place in the video games aisle. I ask a confused-looking female customer if she needs help.)

Customer: “Is this Star Wars?” *points to Thor for Wii*

Me: “No, that’s Thor.”

Customer: “Oh, how about this?” *points to Tron for 360*

Me: “No, that’s Tron.”

Customer: “Oh, what’s that about?”

Me: “It’s based on the movie Tron, from Disney.”

Customer: “Oh, no, I don’t think so. What’s that?” *points to Portal 2 for 360*

Me: “That’s Portal 2.”

Customer: “Looks like Star Wars!”


This story is part of the Bad-Gamer-Customer-themed roundup!

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A Dark Day For Political Correctness

, , , | Right | May 31, 2011

(Keep in mind that I’m wearing a black shirt.)

Customer: “I have a question. Can you help me?”

Me: “I’ll try, ma’am.”

Customer: “Well, do you carry any construction paper?”

Me: “Yes, we do. It is right this way, if you would follow me.”

(We walk to the aisle.)

Customer: “Do you have any dark paper, though?”

Me: “Yes, we do. What color of dark paper are you looking for?”

(The customer looks at me like I’m a moron.)

Customer: “Dark paper! Like your shirt!”

Me: “Oh, you mean black.”

Customer: *gasps* “I’m sorry, but I can not believe you would say that! I feel that word is just so offensive to the colored community!”

(The customer storms out of the building, muttering about racists. The customer is white.)

Misadventures In Time And Space

, , , , | Right | April 25, 2011

Me: “[Taxi call center], how can I help you?”

Customer: “Oh my goodness. I need a cab right now!”

Me: “Alright, we’ll try and work fast as we can for you. What is the address we’re picking you up from?”

Customer: “1234 Smith Ave.”

Me: “That address is not showing up in our system. Is there a direction on Smith Ave? North, south, east or west?”

Customer: “I think it’s 1234 Smith Ave. Or it could be John St.”

Me: “Alright. If you’re not sure of the address, is there someone there you can ask, please?”

Customer: “Oh, this is my place.”

Me: “You don’t know your address? Do you receive mail at your home? Could you look at the address on that for me?”

Customer: “Hold on. Oh! It’s 1234 North Smith Ave!”

Me: “Okay, that went into the system just fine. We’ll try and get a cab over to you as soon as possible.”

Customer: “Oh dear. What time is it?”

Me: “It’s about 9:15.”

Customer: “Oh no! In the morning?”

Me: “No, it’s 9:15pm… at night.”

Customer: “Oh, good! I didn’t miss my appointment. I need a cab for the morning! I’ll call back then! Thank you! Bye!” *click*


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