(During my daughter’s first well-child visit after bringing her home from the hospital, I have what I think is a pretty standard question for the pediatrician:)

Me: “Can I ask you about vaccinations?”

Doctor: *gets this look on his face like he’s worried he’s about to be yelled at* “Um, okay?”

Me: “When we have scheduled vaccinations, can you give us a schedule for when various immunizations are scheduled, what they’re for, and what sorts of signs we should be looking for in a potential reaction?”

Doctor: *relaxes noticeably* “Oh, yeah. In fact, that’s all in the printout and if you want, we can talk through it at each visit.”

Me: “You looked like you were afraid I was going to go off on you or something. Does that really happen?”

Doctor: “You have no idea.”

(I work at a fairly popular coffee chain famous for its obnoxious, stuck-up customers at times. We just started a special on a new blended coffee drink: the [Chocolatey Drink], a super chocolatey blended drink. I am currently working alone as my coworker is on his break.)

Customer: “Do you think I would like the Double Double Fudge Bar?”

Me: “I don’t know. It really depends. If you like chocolate, you will love this drink. It comes with more chocolate than any of our other blended drinks and is supposed to taste like a chocolate fudge bar!”

Customer: “Hm… I think I might try it… Maybe.”

Me: “Well, if you don’t like it, we can always make you a different blended drink!”

Customer: “Oh, wonderful! Yes, I’ll try it, then!”

Me: “All right!”

(I make the drink and hand it off to the customer.)

Me: “So, what do you think? Do you like it?”

(The customer takes a sip.)

Customer: “Hm… No… I really just don’t like it.”

Me: “Oh, I’m sorry to hear that. Is there another blended beverage that I could make for you, instead?”

Customer: “Yeah, can I try the [Chocolatey Chip] one?”

Me: “Sure thing!”

(I make the chocolate chip drink and hand it off to the customer. She takes a sip.)

Customer: “You know what? I don’t really like this one, either. I’m really just not a huge fan of chocolate. I never have been. Can I try the [Chocolate Mocha] one?”

Me: *stares in disbelief* “Um… The [Chocolate Mocha] one has chocolate in it, too, so if you don’t like chocolate, I would suggest maybe the caramel or vanilla one.”

Customer: “Oh… Hm… Well, what about the chocolate banana smoothie?”

Me: “That will have chocolate in it.”

Customer: *scoffs* “I know that! Fine! I’ll just have the [Caramel Blended] one.”

(I make the caramel one and hand it off.)

Customer: “OH! This is sooooo much better! I just don’t really like chocolate all that much. I’m pretty weird, aren’t I?”  

(The customer pays and walks out, but then walks back in about a minute later.)

Customer: “Actually, can you add a little of that chocolate drizzle on top of this?”

Me: *screams internally*

(I work at a campus library as the receptionist. I’ve been working here about two years, but my coworker hasn’t even been here for a month.)

Patron: “Hello. Could you look up a call number for me?”

Coworker: “Of course. Let me just get online—”

Patron: *suddenly sharp* “You shouldn’t have to do that.”

Coworker: “Um…”

Patron: “You shouldn’t have to use the computer to get my call number. You should just be able to do it.”

Coworker: “I’m not sure what you mean? I could get the manager and maybe he—”

Patron: “You shouldn’t have to go get your manager. You should be able to just do it.”

Coworker: “Our entire system is online, ma’am—”

Patron: *walks away in a huff*

(Five minutes later, she came back to the desk to tell my coworker that she found the call number herself without his help. How did she do this? By looking it up online. Also, I told my coworker not to feel too bad about getting chewed out by her. I had spent fifteen minutes with her last week showing her how to print a document from Word.)

(We’re having some minor construction done in the box office, so the ticketing area is moved into the lobby. We have signs on every door stating, “THE BOX OFFICE IS TEMPORARILY IN THE LOBBY. DUE TO CONSTRUCTION, THE THEATRE IS CLOSED. THANK YOU.” But this keeps happening.)

Customer #1: “Oh, hi! Can we look in the theatre?”

Me: “I’m sorry, but we can’t currently give any tours due to the construction.”

Customer #2: “Can I walk around the lobby?”

Me: “Sure thing! I only ask that you not go past these doors.”

Customer #1: “If people can’t go into the theatre, why are you still open?”

Me: “We’re still selling tickets for the upcoming events. The box office is always open during business hours; they just moved me over so customers wouldn’t have to walk through a construction zone to buy tickets.”

Customer #2: *stands right at the doors and leans as far out as she can* “Can I just peek in real quick?”

Me: “I’m sorry, with the construction–“

Customer #2: “I don’t see anyone. I’ll just run through real fast.”

Me: “Ma’am, I can’t allow that. It’s not safe right now. Would you like to buy any–“

Customer #1: “There’s a bathroom through here, right?” *begins to walk through the door*

Me: “Actually, there’s one right here, just past the bar.”

Customer #2: “I’ve always wanted to see this theatre, and we’re just visiting the city. I’ll be quick–“

Customer #1: “No harm, right?”

Me: “I can’t allow that. Now, please, is there anything I can help you with?”

(They leave eventually, and my manager comes back to find me banging my head on my temporary desk.)

Manager: “Again?”

Me: “Apparently being able to see me from the street means, ‘just walk right on in and wander around.’”

Manager: “You’d think the signs–“

New Customer: “Hi! Can I go into the theatre?”

Manager: “Sorry, we have construction going on right now–“

New Customer: “I’ll be quick!”

(I really hope the construction is over soon. I’m starting to dent my desk.)

I am sixteen, working my first job in a grocery store as a cashier, mere months after being hired. I am working in our express lane, which is attached to our deli and hot foods department, to make it easier for customers to purchase hot meals.

A rather gruff-looking older woman comes to my lane with a handful of items, including one of our ready-made sandwiches, made with meat, cheese, and typically lettuce and tomato. I am immediately on edge as the woman responds rather rudely to my greeting; however, I continue checking her out until we get to the sandwich.

She tells me she called earlier in the day and the woman at our customer service center told her she could get a new, replacement sandwich for free. The story is that she purchased a sandwich yesterday for her mother, and the lettuce in the sandwich was soggy and limp like it had gone bad. She provides no specific name of a customer service worker, though we always answer our phones with our names. When I ask her if she has her receipt, she gets ornery and says the woman at customer service told her she wouldn’t need it. This is not true; receipts are required on returns. When I mention to her that returns and exchanges are handled at our customer service desk, she gets blustery and tells me I can set the sandwich aside, as she isn’t going to get it.

As she leaves with her other products, she mutters about how she is never going to come back to this store again… because we enforce our very simple rules? Good riddance.

My boss comes to talk to me later. Apparently, the woman has called to complain about me, and my boss says, “Sometimes it’s just better to give the customers what they want.”

What is even the point of us having rules at all if we’re going to allow customers to break them whenever they want?

I’ve been working at the store for eight years now — and I’m a heck of a lot tougher about our policies now than I was then — and the way my boss said that still grates on me. She’s no longer working with us, thankfully.