Your Logical Argument Is Jetting Away

, , , , , | Related | November 23, 2017

(I am driving with my three-year-old daughter in the backseat. It is about noon, and the sky is almost completely cloudless. My daughter notices contrails from a jet in the sky.)

Daughter: “Mommy, is that a falling star?”

Me: “No, honey. That is from a jet.”

(We go back and forth a couple times; she keeps insisting that it’s a falling star.)

Daughter: “Mommy, can you see the jet?”

Me: “No, honey; it’s very far away.”

Daughter: “Well, if you can’t see the jet, you can’t prove that it’s not a falling star.”

(Now, what do you say to that?)

Pizza Parlor Tricks

, , , , , | Right | November 22, 2017

(It’s fairly late in the evening, just a couple hours before close, when a guy walks in and I go up to the counter to help him. He kind of mumbles and talks really fast at some points, but otherwise nothing really seems off.)

Me: “Welcome to [Pizza Shop]. What can I do for you?”

Customer: “Hey, I need to pick up some pizzas.”

Me: “Okay.” *starts looking for his order in the computer, but none pop up as awaiting payment* “Have they already been paid for?”

Customer: “Yeah, we paid for ’em yesterday, but we never came and picked ’em up.”

(It’s already weird that someone would order pizza and then come in to try and pick it up the next day, but I figure it’s not a big deal to simply retake his order. Carryout orders get canceled or simply never get picked up for various reasons all the time; if something has been sitting on our heating racks for more than two or three hours, we always cancel the order and just eat it ourselves, since we would have to remake it if they eventually showed up, anyway. Usually this just happens when someone calls ahead or orders online, so if they have already paid for it, it was on a card, and the transaction is canceled, and if they chose cash, we haven’t received it yet, so everything works out.)

Me: “You ordered them yesterday? So, you want to replace the order right now, then?”

Customer: “Yeah, unless you’ve still got them around, but I kind of doubt that.”

Me: “No, I’m sure that we don’t. What did you have?”

(He orders two pizzas using a special that makes them almost half price, and for the second one he has to call someone to get the toppings. While he is on the phone, I call over the manager in charge, an assistant manager, to ask if we can access yesterday’s orders in case I need to prove to him that his previous transaction was voided. He says only the general manager can access that information, but he stays near the counter anyway. The guy comes back and orders his second pizza.)

Me: “All right, your total is $19.02, and I know you said it was paid for yesterday, but don’t worry; we would have canceled the order and the payment, so we’ll just take a new one right now.”

Customer: “But we paid cash.”

Me: “Oh. You paid cash? In the store? And then left, even though we would most likely have quoted you like ten minutes?”

Customer: “Yeah! I had a receipt. I would have brought it, but I don’t have it, unfortunately.”

Me: “Uhh…” *to manager* “Do you know if we were over, like, 19 bucks last night?”

Manager: *to me* “We definitely weren’t. I closed last night.” *to the guy* “Do you remember what time you came in?”

Customer: “Sometime between two and six.”

([Manager] and I look at each other, as that’s not much more helpful than saying he was here yesterday at some point while we were open.)

Customer: “I can call the manager guy! The one who was here yesterday! I can talk to him!”

Manager: “I was here last night. I don’t remember an order like this sitting around. I’m sorry, but if you don’t have a receipt, there’s not really anything we can do.”

Me: “You could pay for it with a card today, and when the GM comes in tomorrow, if we can find your previous order paid in our system, we can cancel the card transaction.”

Customer: “I only have cash, and only… $11! Can you at least make on of the pizzas?”

(Individually, without the special, his pizzas are about $14 or $15 each.)

Manager: “Sorry, but I can’t.”

Customer: “Darn. Okay, I need to go get some more cash; I’ll be right back.” *walks out*

Manager: “That was sketchy. Who pays cash for something and then leaves without it and forgets about it until the next day? Something tells me he’s not coming back.”

(He didn’t.)

Getting All Melon-cholic

, , , , | Right | November 21, 2017

(Where I work, we have some of our produce cut in half and plastic-wrapped to display the freshness we guarantee for our produce. They have stickers on them that say they are for display only and not for sale. This doesn’t stop people from trying to buy them, though. Most of the time, we explain things to them, they nod, and we put the items back. A lady comes up to the service desk to complain about this.)

Customer: “They said I couldn’t buy this one.”

Me: “Yep, sorry about that. It’s a display only.”

Customer: “So, I have to buy this watermelon.” *she gestures to the whole one in her cart now* “—instead of the one I wanted. That’s ridiculous.”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but it’s a display only. It even is marked as such. We can’t sell it.”

Customer: “Why do you have a display mixed in with the stuff for sale, then?”

Me: “Because that’s where we put them?”

Customer: “Well, why don’t you have a display shelf for them?”

Me: “Because we don’t, ma’am. I’m sorry for the confusion.”

(She buys a whole watermelon. We do sell watermelon cut in half, but they’re sold by the pound, and tend to run higher than a whole watermelon, so it’s cheaper to just buy a whole one and throw out whatever you don’t use.)

Me: “Have a nice day, ma’am.”

Customer: *huffs* “Well, you have a nice day, too, because you’ve foiled mine.”

Me: *speechless*

Customer: “You tell your manager this is ridiculous!”

(She leaves, and the gentleman behind her comes up.)

Me: “I’m so sorry to do this, sir, but please just give me five seconds to process all of that and re-cuperate.”

Unfiltered Story #100141

, , , , | Unfiltered | November 17, 2017

I work in a chain fast food restaurant, at night, and it is pretty slow. A sfamily comes in. At this place you have to ask if they’re eating for here to go, I asked and she said “To go” So I put that in the computer and continued with their order. It was a pretty long one, cause it was a big family, so I made sure everything was right and she said it was.

They go to sit down and I get their order ready and put them into bags. I call her name and she comes over the counter and looks very confused/angry. Then she looks at me and says “Um. I ordered this for here.”

I just pause for a moment and decide not to argue with her. Instead I said “I’m sorry, I can put it onto a tray if you’d like.” A process that would have taken less than a minute, and she grabs the bags from me and says “No. It’s TOO LATE.”

I just think she wanted something to b**** about. Not the rudest customer but probably one of my favorite stories about working there.

Scar Issue

, , , , | Right | November 15, 2017

(I have a particularly nasty scar on my neck where I had several lymph nodes removed for a biopsy two years ago. I’m proud of this scar, because those lymph nodes determined I was in an early stage of cancer and got me the treatment I needed before it could metastasize. I hear all manner of comments on this scar, but this is by far the most outrageous.)

Customer: “What’d you do there?” *gestures on his own neck*

Me: “Oh, it’s a biopsy scar.”

Customer: “That looks terrible. You know, one time I had a scar like that right behind my ear. I went into a great plastic surgeon and he fixed it all up right there in his office.”

Me: “Awesome.”

Customer: “I could give you his name. It’s a shame; you’re such a pretty girl. You shouldn’t have to live with that for the rest of your life.”

Me: “No, thank you.”

Customer: “Really. It’s pretty simple.”

Me: “Sir, with all due respect, I am very proud of this scar. I believe scars tell stories, and this is the best one I’ve got. For the record, I asked for this scar to look the way it does. I think it’s beautiful, so I’ll say again: I’m really not interested.”

(He took his groceries and left, but I see him all the time, and after this incident, he’s avoided my line AND making eye contact.)

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