The Glitter Is Golden Years

, , , , , | Right | October 22, 2020

It’s Tuesday. I’m ordering in my department and an older woman approaches me.

Customer: “Excuse me. Do you work here?”

Me: “Yes! Can I help you?”

Customer: “I’m looking for glitter.”

Me: “Oh, sure! I can show you which aisle that’s in!”

The aisle with the glitter isn’t far from where I’m ordering, and our company policy is to show customers to the items they ask for most of the time, so I walk her to the aisle.

Me: “Glitter is right in this aisle!”

I gesture, and the customer thanks me profusely. I head back to where I was when she first approached me and continue my order. Another customer passes me and I greet her, and then the older lady from before catches my attention.

Customer: “Excuse me!”

Me: “Did you need some more help?”

Customer: “Yes! I’m legally blind, and I’ve lost my husband! He’s tall with white hair, and his name is [Husband].”

Me: “Well, I’ll see if I can find him! Otherwise, I could always page him for you.”

Customer: “Oh, page him! What a good idea! You’re wonderful!”

Me: “I’ll see if I find him, or I’ll have someone page him for you.”

I walk away to head to a phone, but I take a quick little detour through a couple of nearby aisles, just in case her husband is down one of them. As I round a corner, I see a man matching his description a few aisles down.

Me: “Are you looking for your wife? Are you [Husband]? She’s over this way!”

The husband smiles a little at me, looking relieved, and follows me to the aisle where I’ve left his wife browsing.

Me: “I found him! Didn’t even have to page him!”

Customer: “Oh, there you are! Look, I found these! She helped me!”

They both thanked me, and I smiled and assured them it was no problem and went back to my department. I saw the couple a few minutes later, holding hands. Part of me wishes I would have stayed with her a little longer and helped her find the colors she needed, but she seemed to have it handled when I left her the first time.

This story is part of our Feel Good roundup for October 2020!

Read the next Feel Good roundup story!

Read the Feel Good roundup for October 2020!

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Didn’t Bank On That Happening!

, , , , | Legal | October 20, 2020

My wife and I have some checks to deposit so we drive to our bank’s drive-thru. I haven’t signed the checks yet so I stop just short of the drive-thru and sign them. Out of the corner of my eye, I notice some guy run past the front of the car just as I am finishing.

I pull up and hit the request button and… nothing. There aren’t any tellers visible in the window but the lights are on. We are confused and think maybe the bank has closed, but some other cars pull in then. Still no tellers.

A guy in the car closest to the building gets out and peers in the window.

Guy: “Everyone inside is lying on the floor!”

Just then police cars — over a dozen! — came zooming in from every direction with lights but no sirens. The bank had been robbed.  

After getting some money, the robber told everyone to get down and stay down and then ran right past the front of our car after exiting the emergency exit right by the drive-thru. Unfortunately, I couldn’t describe him, though it turned out he’d been caught on camera. No one was actually hurt.

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It Was A Miracle They Remembered

, , , , , , | Right | October 17, 2020

In the early 1980s there was an iconic commercial for Miracle Whip sandwich spread where a guy knocks on the window of a closed grocery store with an empty jar of Miracle Whip begging to come in.

In 1984, I’m in college and a new grocery store has been built in our town. My roommate and I want to get groceries and thought the store was already open; it turns out the store does not open until tomorrow. On this particular day, we see there is obviously an all-staff meeting happening just inside the floor-to-ceiling front windows. My roommate and I seize this rare opportunity.

We return home and grab a jar of Miracle Whip from the refrigerator and head back. When we return, we see the entire staff standing circled around one individual who is speaking.

BANG! BANG! BANG! We knock on the window hard.

My friend holds up the empty jar of Miracle Whip as I pantomime begging. Ten seconds later, we run away.

A few years later, I’m done with college and get a job for the same grocery chain in a nearby city. After working there a few months, I share the story with my manager. He looks at me as if stunned and says, “You’re the Miracle Whip Guy!”

He tells me that he was there that day — as were managers from other nearby stores and representatives from the head office, all listening to an inspirational speech by the CEO of the company — when I banged on the window.

He said they all had a good laugh and thought it was a good, timely prank.

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We’re Totally Stealing This Insult

, , , , | Working | October 16, 2020

At my job, we work off of Excel reports sent to us by third parties via email. I’ve just received a report that doesn’t look like anything this third party has ever sent in the past, so I reply to their email to get some clarification about it. I’ve hit “REPLY” to this email to make sure that there’s context for them, but not “REPLY ALL” as not everyone included on the email needs to be involved in the conversation.

Me: “Hi. After reviewing the report, this doesn’t look like the reports we normally receive from you. Can you advise and provide some clarification?”

Employee: “What report?”

I attach the report they provided.

Me: “This is the report you sent us.”

Employee: “Who sent this?”

I had to resist the urge to respond with, “I AM HITTING REPLY TO YOUR EMAIL, YOU TURD MCNUGGET. YOU SENT THIS!” They eventually figured it out, but not before I ripped out a few chunks of hair at their stupidity.

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You Could Have Had Some, And Now You Have None

, , , , , , | Legal | October 9, 2020

I have booked and paid for a room at a small, local motel two months early for an event I’m attending. Shortly after I book my room, I find out that another, bigger, event has been scheduled for the area the same weekend I’ll be there. Naturally, the room rates for the hotel rise because of the bigger event, but I don’t think anything of it because I’ve already paid for my room.

When I arrive at the motel to check in, the owner is running the front counter.

Owner: “Hello, welcome to [Motel]! How can I help you?”

Me: “I have a reservation for [My Name].”

Owner: “Okay, great! Are you here for [Other Event that I’m not going to]?”

Me: “Nope, I’m here for [My Event].”

Owner: “Oh, yes! So, it looks like that’ll be $110 per night for three nights, for a total of $330.”

Me: “Um… no, my reservation should be paid for already.”

Owner: *Starting to turn rude* “Oh. Well, it doesn’t show that it is paid for, so you’ll have to pay now.”

Me: “I have the receipt from my reservation right here.”

I show him the printed receipt.

Owner: “Hmm. Well, there must have been an error with whatever site you booked through. We have not received payment for your reservation, so you need to pay now.”

Me: “I booked my room directly through your own website. I didn’t use any third-party service.”

Owner: “I see. I’ll tell you what. This ‘receipt’ you have—” *literally does air quotes* “—claims that you paid $80 per night. Our rate right now is $110 per night because of [Other Event]. For you, I will let you pay only the difference of $30 per night.”

Me: “No. When I booked my room, the rate was $80 per night. I have proof right here with this receipt that I paid that $80 per night. You cannot change the rate after I pay the original price. I’m pretty sure that’s illegal.”

Owner: “No, no, hotels do it all the time. What you paid when you book the room is only a deposit. You have to pay the rate for the nights you actually stay.”

Me: “Please cancel my reservation and refund my money. I am not staying here tonight.”

Owner: “I cannot refund money that I have not received.”

Me: “Give me five minutes to call my bank. I’ll have them find the transaction record to prove that I paid.”

Owner: “Fine. Call your bank.”

I walked out to the parking lot and called my bank. Not surprisingly, the representative was able to find the transaction using the information I gave them from my receipt. I told the representative what was going on, and he advised that my best option was not to keep pointlessly demanding a refund but to walk away from the motel completely and have my bank dispute the transaction with the motel’s bank.

Fortunately, I had enough money in my account to walk into another hotel that still had vacant rooms. When I told the employee at the new hotel what had happened at the first motel, she called her manager up to the desk. After hearing my story himself, the manager asked to see my receipt from the first motel, and then told the front-desk employee to give me the same $80-per-night rate that I had paid for the first motel instead of their advertised rate of $130 per night for those nights! He said I was the fifth person to walk in that night after fighting the first motel over the same thing I went through, and they were happy to make the price adjustment because it meant they could fill more rooms.

Four days after my phone call to my bank, the money from the first motel was back in my account. My event went great, and I’m definitely planning on going back next year and staying at the second hotel.

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