Honesty Gets You Oculus Repairo!

, , , , | Hopeless | August 27, 2017

(The December before I got married, my parents let me go to the optometrist one last time while I was still on their insurance. They had $1000 on their plan to use up or it would be lost on January 1st, so I was told to go nuts on a pair of glasses. I ended up with a very nice pair of flex-steel glasses that were very thin, especially along the bridge of the nose. Cue five years later and that very thin bridge has finally broken. I tape them up but the metal has actually curled in slightly so both sides are poking me in the nose and they are incredibly uncomfortable since the glasses don’t want to stay straight and want to fold in on themselves. I bring them to a chain glasses store and get told that the metal stresses as it ages and gets weaker, so they are shot. They can’t fix them, only get me a new pair, but since my prescription is more than two years old I have to get an exam as well. They tell me my only other option is to go to a jewelry store and have them laser weld the pieces back together. I go to a local jewelry store and thankfully the clerk is able to get them welded together for $35. About two months later, things in my life have taken a downturn. My hours were slashed from thirty-five a week to less than nine; my wife’s hours were also cut (we worked at the same restaurant). We have just signed up with WIC, cancelled everything but our cell phones and the most basic Internet package, and are still wondering how we are going to pay our bills. Sitting on the couch one night, my toddler throws his head back and breaks my glasses again. This time we don’t have $35 to fix them but I can’t work or drive without them so I go back to the jewelry store.)

Me: *hands over glasses to same clerk as before* “Sorry, I got a toddler head-butt to the face and they broke again.”

Clerk: “Well, the machine hasn’t been powered on yet today so it’s going to be the better part of an hour before these are fixed since it takes a while to warm up.”

(The place is downtown so I go and squint-browse at some of the other stores for an hour.)

Clerk: “Here you go. Try them on and see if they fit correctly.”

Me: *after verifying they fit* “So it’s $35?”

Clerk: “No charge. You were honest about it up front. You didn’t lie or try to blame us or demand anything. Kids happen, but I’d get them replaced sooner rather than later.”

(Thank you, Clerk, for helping a struggling family out! He saved us not having to stretch an immensely strained budget further. Two months later, my wife got a job with benefits and I got new glasses, and three months after that I found a full-time job with benefits of my own.)

Give Them Credit For Trying Again, And Again, And Again

, , , , , , | Working | August 14, 2017

(I stop at a local department store to pickup up some jeans for my daughter. While I am usually sympathetic to clerks/cashiers promoting their store branch credit cards and customer programs, this clerk was a little overzealous and ultimately cost the store a sale.)

Clerk: “Will you be using [Store] credit card to pay for these?”

Me: “No.”

Clerk: “Do you have a [Store] credit card?”

Me: “Sorry, I don’t.”

Clerk: “Oh, well, it’ll only take a few minutes to sign you up. You’ll save an additional 20% on today’s purchase, and you’ll get weekly coupons—”

Me: “Sorry, not interested. Please just ring my purchases up.”

Clerk: “But, you really need to sign up for this card. Don’t you want to save an additional 20% off today?”

Me: “No. Either ring up my purchases or find someone who can.”

Clerk: “But you’re missing out on an additional 20% off today. What if I could get you your total order for free today? Would that work?”

(There was about $120 in merchandise sitting on the counter.)

Me: “You are not listening to me. I do not want a [Store] credit card.”

Clerk: *beginning to ring up order* “You’d turn down free stuff? You must have bad credit or something. Cause everyone wants to save money? Can I at least have an email address so I can sign you up for our customer rewards program?”

Me: “No. You know what? Just cancel my order.”

(The whole time this exchange was going on, a shift leader was no more than five feet going through the returns rack. I could tell she was listening to the conversation, but she made no attempt to intervene. I went home and then proceeded to order everything I was going to buy in-store online.)

In Soviet Russia, Rooms Rest You!

, , , , | Right | August 7, 2017

(My family moved from Sweden to America when I was a teenager. As a result, we had pretty obvious accents. In high school I got a job at a clothing store. Most people who heard me speak either seemed curious and would ask me where I was from or simply didn’t comment. One day, an older man walked into the store and came up to me.)

Man: “Hello, I was wondering if you could point me to the restrooms?”

Me: “Oh, of course! They’re just down this aisle. I can show you if you’d like.”

(The man stared at me suspiciously for a few long moments before he motioned for me to step a little closer. I did so nervously. His expression was very, very grave and serious.)

Man: “Tell me straight. Are you a communist?”

(I barely managed to suppress my laughter and assured him that I was not a communist. I then quickly showed him to the restrooms and proceeded to laughed myself sick.)

It’s A Normal Human Condition(er)

, , , | Romantic | August 4, 2017

(It’s tough to get any adult privacy in our household with small children. My husband and I finally get some intimate shared shower time, including using some conditioner for lubricant, when I have a lightning bolt realization.)

Me: “So THAT’S why we always run out of conditioner before we run out of shampoo!”

Unfiltered Story #90935

, , | Unfiltered | July 18, 2017

(It is a really slow day at the fast food place, and I am serving some kid and his friends. They all look to be roughly 11 or 12. One of the boys that is ordering keeps flirting with me quite aggressively the whole time and I am starting to get annoyed as I am not interested in robbing the cradle.)

Me: “And did you want anything else?”

Kid: “Yeah, can I add your phone number to my order?”

Me: *deadpan* “Why? Do you need a babysitter?”

(His friends burst out laughing and he quickly left the store after that.)

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