Not A Very Powerful Scam

, , | Working | April 19, 2018

(I’m working the front desk at a tire and repair shop when I get a call from an anonymous phone number. This happens fairly frequently, so I think nothing of it and answer.)

Caller: *in a thick accent* “Hello, I am calling to verify that you are aware that [Power Company #1] will be turning off your power in 45 minutes.”

Me: *uncertainly* “Uh-huh.”

Caller: “Please call this 800-number and enter this verification code to reach the customer service hotline.”

(I Google the number, and the first result is the 800-number followed by a string of Chinese characters. I promptly hang up. Later:)

Me: “Hey, [Boss], who do we get power from?”

Boss: “I’m pretty sure it’s from [Power Company #2].”

Me: “So, I guess the call I just got from [Power Company #1] saying they were going to shut off our power was a scam?”

(We had a laugh over that one.)

Wait Until You Meet John Smith

, , , , | Right | April 10, 2018

(I’ve changed the name for the sake of privacy.)

Me: “[State Agency] Services, how may I help you?”

Caller: “Yeah, my name is Terri Brown. I need to know who my worker is.”

(I proceed to look him up. It is a state-wide search so a few results under “Terri Brown,” and the longer version of his name, “Terrance Brown,” show up.)

Me: “Okay, there are a few Terri Browns on here. Can you please give me your date of birth?”

Caller: “TERRANCE Brown. T-E-R-R-A-N-C-E.”

Me: *as nice as possible* “I understand, sir. There are multiple entries in our state search. I need to make sure which one you are.”

Caller: “There are other Terrance Browns? Really?”

Me: “Yes. It is a state search. Can I have your birth date please?”

Caller: *gives birthdate* “I can’t believe it. Other people with my name. Crazy, right?”

Me: “…”

Not Putting The P Into Privacy

, , , , | Related | March 25, 2018

(My four-year-old son and I are home alone. I go to use the bathroom while he’s playing with his toys. As soon as I have closed the door and sat down, he comes barreling down the hall and barges in.)

Son: “What’s that sound?”

Me: “That’s the sound of me peeing.”

Son: “I don’t like it.”

Me: “Then don’t come in here.”

Weeding Through The Bad Gifts

, , , , , | Romantic | March 10, 2018

(I smoke medical marijuana for PTSD and fibromyalgia pain. It’s Valentine’s Day, and my wife comes home and tosses me a package.)

Wife: “Babe, I got you flowers!”

Me: “Aww, so sweet!”

(It was my order of weed buds, aka “flowers.”)

Super-Starving For Attention

, , , , | Working | March 9, 2018

(I’m a woman in electronic manufacturing, working with almost all men, and we share a pretty relaxed environment. While working, I accidentally drop a metal piece with a loud clang.)

Coworker #1: “You okay over there?”

Me: “Oh, I’m fine. Thanks.”

Coworker #2: “Not feeling like you’re getting enough attention, or something?”

Me: *deadpan* “Nah, I’m wearing new earrings and felt like everyone should come look. I’m feeling pretty superstar.”

Coworker #1: “Oh, I understand. I feel that way when I’m wearing new earrings, too.”

Coworker #2: “I feel pretty superstar every time I wear pants out of the house!”

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