Getting All Melon-cholic

, , , , | Right | November 21, 2017

(Where I work, we have some of our produce cut in half and plastic-wrapped to display the freshness we guarantee for our produce. They have stickers on them that say they are for display only and not for sale. This doesn’t stop people from trying to buy them, though. Most of the time, we explain things to them, they nod, and we put the items back. A lady comes up to the service desk to complain about this.)

Customer: “They said I couldn’t buy this one.”

Me: “Yep, sorry about that. It’s a display only.”

Customer: “So, I have to buy this watermelon.” *she gestures to the whole one in her cart now* “—instead of the one I wanted. That’s ridiculous.”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but it’s a display only. It even is marked as such. We can’t sell it.”

Customer: “Why do you have a display mixed in with the stuff for sale, then?”

Me: “Because that’s where we put them?”

Customer: “Well, why don’t you have a display shelf for them?”

Me: “Because we don’t, ma’am. I’m sorry for the confusion.”

(She buys a whole watermelon. We do sell watermelon cut in half, but they’re sold by the pound, and tend to run higher than a whole watermelon, so it’s cheaper to just buy a whole one and throw out whatever you don’t use.)

Me: “Have a nice day, ma’am.”

Customer: *huffs* “Well, you have a nice day, too, because you’ve foiled mine.”

Me: *speechless*

Customer: “You tell your manager this is ridiculous!”

(She leaves, and the gentleman behind her comes up.)

Me: “I’m so sorry to do this, sir, but please just give me five seconds to process all of that and re-cuperate.”

Unfiltered Story #100141

, , , , | Unfiltered | November 17, 2017

I work in a chain fast food restaurant, at night, and it is pretty slow. A sfamily comes in. At this place you have to ask if they’re eating for here to go, I asked and she said “To go” So I put that in the computer and continued with their order. It was a pretty long one, cause it was a big family, so I made sure everything was right and she said it was.

They go to sit down and I get their order ready and put them into bags. I call her name and she comes over the counter and looks very confused/angry. Then she looks at me and says “Um. I ordered this for here.”

I just pause for a moment and decide not to argue with her. Instead I said “I’m sorry, I can put it onto a tray if you’d like.” A process that would have taken less than a minute, and she grabs the bags from me and says “No. It’s TOO LATE.”

I just think she wanted something to b**** about. Not the rudest customer but probably one of my favorite stories about working there.

Scar Issue

, , , , | Right | November 15, 2017

(I have a particularly nasty scar on my neck where I had several lymph nodes removed for a biopsy two years ago. I’m proud of this scar, because those lymph nodes determined I was in an early stage of cancer and got me the treatment I needed before it could metastasize. I hear all manner of comments on this scar, but this is by far the most outrageous.)

Customer: “What’d you do there?” *gestures on his own neck*

Me: “Oh, it’s a biopsy scar.”

Customer: “That looks terrible. You know, one time I had a scar like that right behind my ear. I went into a great plastic surgeon and he fixed it all up right there in his office.”

Me: “Awesome.”

Customer: “I could give you his name. It’s a shame; you’re such a pretty girl. You shouldn’t have to live with that for the rest of your life.”

Me: “No, thank you.”

Customer: “Really. It’s pretty simple.”

Me: “Sir, with all due respect, I am very proud of this scar. I believe scars tell stories, and this is the best one I’ve got. For the record, I asked for this scar to look the way it does. I think it’s beautiful, so I’ll say again: I’m really not interested.”

(He took his groceries and left, but I see him all the time, and after this incident, he’s avoided my line AND making eye contact.)

It Can Be Nerve-Wracking Eating Popping Candy

, , , , , | Right | November 3, 2017

(Working as a wait assistant, it is my job to clear tables, bring water and bread, and help with whatever else needs to be done. I approach two young women sitting together so I can set down their water glasses and bread.)

Woman #1: “I’m nervous; I don’t know if I can do it.”

Woman #2: “There’s nothing to be nervous about. When the time comes, it will explode in your mouth, and you’ll enjoy it.”

Very Human Resources

, , , , , | Right | November 3, 2017

(I’m answering phones for a big department store when I get this interesting call.)

Me: “Hello, thank you for calling [Store]. This is [My Name] speaking. What can I help you with today?”

Guest: “Can I speak to a human?”

Me: *pauses* “Yes.”

Guest: “Oh, is this a human?”

Me: “Yes, my name is [My Name]. How can I help you?”

Guest: “Is your store working today?”

Me: “Yes, it is.”

Guest: “Like, can I go in and shop?”

Me: “Again, yes.”

Guest: “Well, thank you, human.”

Me: “Thank you for calling. Have a good day.”

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