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Maybe Their Computer Is Smoking?

, , , , , , | Right | August 11, 2021

I work from home for a vape company. I mostly deal with customers via email and instant chat. One day, I get this email.

Customer: “Hello, I would like to return my product for a refund, please. What’s the process?”

Me: “Hello! I need to ask a few questions first. Have you used the product? Is it still sealed? When did you purchase the product, and which one? Please let me know and we will get started.”

Customer: “It’s still factory sealed, never been used. It’s [Computer Brand].”

Me: “Sir, I’m afraid there’s been some kind of misunderstanding. We don’t sell computers. This is [Company].”

Customer: “I thought you said you’d accept the refund! You’re going back on your word?”

Me: “Sir, where did you purchase your computer from? I would recommend that you contact the company where you originally purchased the computer and they will help you. I cannot do anything as you didn’t buy the computer from us. We do not sell computers.”

Customer: “It’s unopened! I just want my money back!”

Me: “Sir. This is [Company]. We’re a vape company. We’ve never sold computers. You need to contact the company that you bought the computer from. I cannot help you.”

Customer: “Well then, I have [our most expensive product] and I want a refund! Will you help me now?!

Me: “Do you have a receipt or proof of purchase you can send? I’ll need a picture of the product in its packaging, as well, please.”

Customer: “I don’t have a receipt; just take it back. I want my money back! I want to talk to your boss!”

Even in a work-from-home job, you still get THOSE customers.

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Being Eight Is Really Hard, Okay?!

, , , , , , | Related | August 11, 2021

My husband and I go out to lunch with some of his family members. His grandmother, who is in her nineties and still sharp as a tack, orders a glass of wine. She drinks maybe a third of it before accidentally knocking over the glass. It doesn’t break, but the wine spills into the lap of my cousin-in-law’s daughter, who is about eight.

We flag the server over to alert her. While the server is mopping up the spill, she knocks the wine glass over and the rest of it — you guessed it — splashes the same poor kid AGAIN. We all start laughing at the unfortunate coincidence while the girl sits glumly in her chair, her lap soaking wet.

My cousin-in-law shakes her head.

Cousin-In-Law: “I really hope I don’t get pulled over on the way home. I don’t want to have to explain why my kid smells like booze.”

She didn’t get stopped, thankfully.

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We’ve Read Weirder Things In “Not Always Working”

, , , , , | Working | August 9, 2021

When our daughter was young, we were at a candy store in a huge mall around Easter time. [Daughter] was looking at the huge chocolate-covered eggs — the size of your fist — and noticed that one of the pretty candy flowers had fallen off. We brought the box with the chocolate egg over to an employee and showed her the flower.

The lady looked at my daughter.

Lady: “Oh, don’t worry, honey. We’ll just lick it and stick it back on,”

And she gave my daughter a wink. Then, just in case anyone overheard our conversation and actually believed what she had said, she looked around the room at the other customers and said, in a much louder voice:

Lady: “We’re not going to actually lick it; we have icing in the back to stick it back on!”

It’s funny that you have to actually tell people that you’re joking, just in case they think you’re serious!

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She Rang For You But Not With A Bell

, , , | Right | August 9, 2021

I work at a craft store that also sells fabric. It’s a Thursday, which means that we mostly work on things in our seasonal departments and sometimes are staffed a little light. Our fabric and framing departments each have a bell for customers to ring when they need assistance, and my coworkers are good about listening and paging each other when they hear said bells. The phone rings. I answer with my standard greeting.

Customer: “Can I get some help at the cutting table?”

Me: “Uh, yeah. I’ll be right there.”

I go to the fabric table.

Me: “I’m sorry! I was on the other side of the store and didn’t hear the bell!”

Usually, when I would say something like this at a previous job, customers would either admit to not seeing the bell or not hitting the bell. Not this customer. She says nothing about the bell; she just tells me how much fabric she needs. When she’s gone, I get on the phone.

Me: “Hey, [Coworker], have you heard the fabric bell lately?”

Coworker: “No, we haven’t heard it for a while.”

Me: “Cool. That’s weird, then.”

I told half my coworkers about this woman who apparently ignored the bright orange sign indicating a bell to ring for assistance and instead called the store to ask for an employee. It’s not like the bell was hidden, although it may not have been in the spot it should have. It’s bright orange, though, so it should be relatively visible from any side of the table.

I don’t get people.

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Three-Quarter Sleeve, Full-Length Karma

, , , , , | Right | August 8, 2021

I work at a local non-profit thrift store. Since summer is approaching, we have a sale where all long-sleeved clothing is 50% off. All of our regular long-sleeved shirts are normally $4.00 (so $2.00 during the sale), and our three-quarter-length-sleeved shirts are $3.50 and NOT currently on sale.

A lady comes to my register with a stack of clothes.

Customer: “These are all long sleeves.”

Me: “Okay!”

As I’m going through the clothes, ringing each one individually, I notice a three-quarter sleeve. As we are a local non-profit and all of our inventory comes from donations, we cashiers are given quite a bit of leeway about how we can interpret sales and such. So, I decide to enter the shirt as a long-sleeve and give it to her for half-off.

Customer: *In a very rude voice* “That is clearly a three-quarter! You need to pay attention to what you are doing!”

Me: *In my sweetest voice* “You are absolutely right, ma’am! Sorry about that!”

I void the item and enter it back in as a three-quarter sleeve after the discount. I finish the transaction and hand her her clothes and receipt.

Customer: *Looking at the receipt* “Why didn’t I get the discount for this?”

I point at the big sign by the registers.

Me: “The sale is only for long sleeves. Three-quarters don’t apply.”

Customer: “But it’s more than what the long sleeves cost!”

Me: “Yes, ma’am. But you did insist that it was a three-quarter.”

The customer stomped out of the store in a huff.

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