Lost That Game Before It Even Started

, , , , | Right | September 28, 2017

(The return policy at the game store where I work is clearly printed on the receipts, but many people don’t bother to read them. A sketchy-looking customer approaches me.)

Customer: *tosses bag down on the counter* “I’d like to return this, man.”

Me: “Not a problem! Just give me one second to process that for you.” *runs through the procedure quickly* “Okay, I’ll just need to swipe the card that you used to purchase [Game].”

Customer: “Nah, I just need the cash back. Don’t have no card.”

Me: *internally sighing* “Okay, let me just check on something with my manager.” *I go back to explain the situation*

Manager: *shakes head* “If he doesn’t have the card he used to purchase, have him use a different one.”

Me: “Sorry, sir. We need a card of some sort in order to process this return.”

Customer: “I already told you that I don’t have a card. I just need the cash! I saw this sitting on a bench. Some dude left it and I figured I’d get money for it.”

Me: *speechless*

Customer: “Just give it back. Never mind…”

(He takes the product and starts walking out of the store. On his way, he bumps into another guy hurrying through the door.)

Customer: “Hey, I recognize you. This is your stuff. I suppose you can have it back.”

Other Guy: “Thank you!” *happily walks out with his stuff*

(I explained the situation to the manager once I’d recovered. He shook his head, muttered about potential fraud, and looked through the security footage. That’s one man who won’t be welcome back in our store!)

Self-Aware Takes Care

, , , , | Right | September 25, 2017

(My boyfriend works late on Valentine’s Day, so as a surprise, I call up one of our favorite restaurants to get some dinner.)

Employee: “[Deli Name], how may I help you?”

Me: “Hi there. I’d like two [sandwiches] for carry-out. I’d like those to be ready at about 7:15 tonight. You guys close at 7:30 tonight; is that correct?”

Employee: “Yes, that’s correct.”

Me: “Okay, be honest. Is it a total d*****-bag move on my part to request food that near to closing?”

Employee: *laughs* “No, it’s not. See you tonight.”

(At 7:15 pm:)

Me: *walking in the door* “Hi. I called in a carry-out order this morning.”

Employee: *laughs out loud and points at me* “You’re the one who’s not a d*****-bag!”

Me: “Haha, yep, that’s me. So, I’m still not one then?”

Employee: “Heck no! Here’s your food. I put some extra chips in there for you.”

(Sometimes it pays to be self-aware.)

Here We Pokémon Go Again, Part 40

, , , , , , | Working | September 14, 2017

(I’m well-known around my work as being a Pokémon fan, having been one since before I started working here about 17  years ago, so it is no surprise when I start playing “Pokémon Go”. A coworker’s little girl, who’s about four, is obsessed with Pokémon as well. One day, my coworker swings by our work while I’m working, to drop some supplies off. As she and I are chatting, her daughter is running around the place playing “Go”.)

Me: “Did you pick up [Item]?”

Coworker: “Yeah, it’s on the back table.”

Daughter: *running up to us* “Mommy! I caught a Pidgy!”

Coworker: “You know, [Daughter], [My Name] plays Pokémon, too.”

Daughter: “We can play together!”

Me: “That’s okay, hun; I’m supposed to be working.”

Daughter: “Okay!” *runs off again*

(A few minutes later she runs up to us again.)

Daughter: “I just caught an Oddish!”

Me: “Exciting! Those are kind of uncommon.”

Daughter: “Yeah!”

(She runs off again, and we resume talking, and [Daughter] returns again in few minutes.)

Daughter: “I found a Jigglypuff!”

Me: *to coworker* “Excuse me; I’m gonna go catch this too…”

Coworker: *laughs*

Luck Is Not On The Syllabus

, , , , , | Learning | September 11, 2017

My second year of college, I was in a lecture-style class with about 90 students. Our professor was known to be extremely strict about late work. She blatantly refused to accept an email submission of any papers, and the only time she allowed us to turn in our printed papers late was if the university as a whole was shut down for some reason at the time the paper was due. (We were in Minnesota, so unexpected snow and winter weather closings were a thing).

One time, our professor ended up cancelling class the night before a major paper was due, because of some sort of minor emergency in her own life. I had another class in the same building right before her class, so since I already had my paper ready to hand in, I ended up leaving it in her office mailbox after my first class, so I wouldn’t have to worry about it for a few extra days.

The next class, when most of the other students tried to turn their papers in – our professor refused to accept them. Several students tried to complain to the department dean about it, but the dean pointed out the fact that, in our professor’s syllabus, she had written something like, “If I [Professor] am unable to hold class for any reason, and the university is open, all papers should be left either in my office mailbox or with the department secretary, to be collected by me when I return to campus.”

Moral of the story: pay attention to the syllabus that your professors print out for class! In my case, I was just extremely lucky, because I had only ever skimmed through the syllabus before this incident, but even I will acknowledge that luck can only get you so far.

The Best People To Be The Best Person With

, , , , , | Hopeless | September 10, 2017

My friend of 13 years was getting married. A few months before his wedding I came out as non-binary. I was my friend’s “best person,” and, knowing that weddings are very gendered, I told him and his fiancée that it was okay, I could still act “like a girl” for his events and their big day, and be referred to as such.

They said that it may not be necessary to do that, and they would do what they could so everyone, including me, would be happy and have a good time.

First, my friend asked which party I wanted to attend: the bachelor or bachelorette. He also listed me in the program and referred to me by the gender-neutral “best person” honorific, and his fiancée sent the tuxedo rental place information so they could get me a custom suit.

Finally, I sat down at the wedding dinner and saw that my place card said, “Mx.,” a neutral alternative to “Mr”. or “Ms.”!

I am still not out to everyone, due to family and work concerns, so being recognized in these ways, especially on their day, nearly made me cry.

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