Inhuman Resources, Part 2

, , , , , | Working | November 23, 2018

(I work in a small-town location of a very large fast food chain that is known for its signature burgers. I am working an afternoon shift with several other employees and the general manager of the location. A little while after I have clocked in, the fryer station begins beeping very loudly and displays the word “HELP” on its LED screen. After about five minutes, it starts to get a little annoying.)

Me: “Why does the fryer station keep beeping like that?”

Coworker: “Nobody really knows. We think it’s probably faulty wiring, but we aren’t really sure.”

(Suddenly, the general manager storms out of her office and starts pressing buttons on the fryer station to get it to shut up.)

General Manager: *to the fryer station* “YOU DON’T NEED HELP! We’ve talked about this!”

Related: Inhuman Resources

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Unfiltered Story #127589

, , | Unfiltered | November 23, 2018

I work at a small pizza place in a small town. We’re right next to the highway that runs through us and we’re in between a few larger towns. We also happen to be right next to a cheap motel, so we get a lot of people stopping in late at night to order pizza.

Our largest size, Jumbo, isn’t very popular so we only have it in our most popular crust, our thick crust.

During this exchange I’m the only one in the store.

Husband and wife walk in.

Me: “Hi! You guys here to place an order or pick one up?”

Husband: “We’re gonna place one and then wait and then pick it up.”

Me: “Alright, do you guys know what you want to order or do you need a few minutes to look?” (I’m hoping they need to look as I have other pizzas to make.)

Husband: “Yeah we’re ready to order!”

Me: “Great! What can I get for you?”

They start looking over the menu again and asking eachother what they think sounds good. They clearly don’t know what they want.

After about a minute,
Me: “Still need a few minutes to decide?”

Husband: “No no, we’re ready. What’s your largest size?”

(I point to the signs we have hanging on the wall right behind me listing what sizes we have and how many slices they come in. Each sign also shows the size of the pizza.)

Husband: “Oh okay, so jumbo is your biggest size?”

Me: “Yes, sir.”

Husband: “And does that come in the buttery crust?”

Me: “No, sorry. Our jumbo size only comes in our thick crust.”

Husband: “So I can’t get the jumbo in the buttery?”

Me: “No, I’m sorry sir. Our jumbo size only comes in our thick crust, not in the buttery crust.”

Husband: “But what about the buttery crust?”

Me: “The buttery crust only comes in small, medium and large.”

Husband: “So I can’t get the buttery crust for the jumbo size?”

Me: “No, sir.”

Husband: “But why not?”

Me: “Our jumbo size only comes in our thick crust. It’s not very popular of a size so we only have it in our most popular crust.”

Husband: “Oh okay, do you guys have any specials?”

Me: “Yes we do! They’re right here on this whiteboard.”

(He takes notice to one with two medium pizzas with two toppings each, for $9 each. After talking it over with his wife, they decide on that one.)

Husband: “Okay, we’ll do that two medium special. Let’s get two larges on-”

Me: (Knowing I need to hurry this up, I still have pizzas to make) “I’m sorry sir, the special is with two mediums.”

Husband: “So I can’t get two larges for $9 each?”

Me: “No, sorry. It’s two mediums for $9 each.”

Husband: “Well I’m confused. I’ll do two mediums on the thick crust with canadian bacon and black olives.”

After the whole ordeal with the jumbo size not in buttery, he didn’t even want the buttery crust.

Burn The Evidence, One Cigarette At A Time

, , , , , , | Legal | November 19, 2018

I work in a fast food restaurant that is inside a convenience store. One day, the store manager had five cartons of “soft pack” cigarettes set aside to be returned. They had been ordered by mistake, as most smokers prefer the standard, harder packs.  

When the vendor came to pick them up, only four cartons were there. The manager started looking at the cameras to try to catch the thief. While he was looking, another employee came in and told him that one of the fast food workers who was working that day was outside smoking those specific, uncommon cigarettes.

The manager confronted the employee, who confessed and offered to pay for them to keep his job. The manager refused, and the employee was fired.

Who is stupid enough to smoke the very things you stole at the place you stole them from?

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Inattentive Lifeguards Breathe A Sign Of Relief, As One Drowning Per Pool Session Is Now Acceptable

, , , , , | Learning | November 14, 2018

When I was ten years old, the summer program I attended went on a field trip to a local indoor waterpark. I tried using a feature where one walked across on lily-pad-like flotation devices while also using a net above, but ended up slipping off and getting trapped underneath one of them.

The worst part was that the lifeguard — nor anyone else, for that matter — seemed not to notice, and the other kids continued to walk on the lily pads, despite my predicament. After what felt like forever, I freed myself, but due to embarrassment, I said nothing about it and went to do something else.

Ten minutes later, the summer program staff announced we were going back to the site early — we’d been there for only an hour — due to inattentive lifeguards, which made me wonder what else had happened, since none of them asked if I was okay.

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Unlawful Sales

, , , | Legal | November 12, 2018

While shopping at a mall, I walked past a kiosk and the saleswoman at the kiosk tried to get my attention. I did what I normally do and ignored her. She tried to grab my shoulder as I walked past, so I grabbed her hand with my own hand, pulled it off my shoulder and twisted it to put her wrist into an uncomfortable angle before telling her never to touch me again. At that point, I let go and walked away.

After leaving the store I was visiting, I returned the other way and saw that the same saleswoman was at the kiosk. As I was watching her, she approached a female shopper and did the same thing when that shopper ignored her: she put her hand on the female shopper’s shoulder and tried to turn her around.

The female shopper screeched, whirled around, and hit the saleswoman in the side of the head with her purse. I don’t know what was in that purse, but the saleswoman dropped like a stone and was out cold on the floor. Mall security was there within a minute or so, and by that time the saleswoman was starting to come around.

Police were called — they happen to have officers stationed at the mall, so it didn’t take them long to arrive — and they started collecting statements from witnesses. I gave a statement from what I saw and also relayed my previous encounter with the saleswoman. I also saw them ask something of the mall security guard, who pointed up at the black domes on the ceiling, clearly indicating to the police where the security cameras were located.

The saleswoman refused medical attention and insisted on pressing charges against the shopper. The police officer laughed and said, “Lady, if the security camera footage matches up with what the witnesses have said, you’re the only one who’s going to be charged with anything.”

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