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Ignore My “No” At Your Own Peril

, , , , , | Friendly | August 28, 2021

One day, I’m home with my kids when there is a knock on the front door. My two huskies are excited to see who came to visit and my two kids are in the background; my five-year-old daughter is keeping her younger brother, almost a year old, entertained with toys.

I peek through the side window by the door and see two younger men, probably in their early twenties, in nice-looking suits and ties. They’re holding brochures in their hands and standing there patiently. I answer the door.

Me: “Can I help you?”

I’m holding my two huskies back behind me. Most people that see huskies are a bit hesitant and think they’re wolves and keep at bay a bit more, but not [Guy #1].

Guy #1: *Joyfully* “Hello there! I hope things are well today. We’re coming from [New Church] in the area, and we wanted to talk to people around the area to let them know we’re here and how we’d like to share the word of God.”

I’m not a religious person. I don’t agree with how churches function in general, but I don’t tell others how to be religious and let them do what they want. 

I give the two guys kind of a distasteful look.

Me: “I appreciate your time, but you’re barking up the wrong tree. I’m not interested in anything you’re having to share. I hope you two have a good day.”

[Guy #2] has been standing about six feet behind [Guy #1].

Guy #2: “Thanks for your time.”

And he turns around to start to leave. I move back a couple of steps into my house and I start to shut the front door. [Guy #1] decides it’s okay to step into my door and push a brochure into my face, and he tries to start talking again about their mission.

I snap. I step right up into [Guy #1]’s face since he is now standing in my doorway just inside my house and I have my two kids behind me. I have no idea what this guy is trying to do or what he is capable of.

I growl at him as I jab my finger into his chest.

Me: “I don’t know who the f*** you think you are, but if you don’t step out of my house right now, I’m going to f*** you up.”

Behind me, my female husky is now growling and showing her teeth. She is very protective of the kids, and with me worked up and angry with [Guy #1], she’s gone into protective mode. To keep her from coming at the guy, I have to grab her collar and hold her back.

[Guy #2] turns and runs while [Guy #1] stumbles backward, stammering, trying to say something. Maybe he’s trying to apologize, but I won’t let him get a word out.

I scold [Guy #1] more as he keeps stumbling backward.

Me: “I politely told you I wasn’t interested in what you had to say, and I even told you guys to have a good day, and you are trying to step into my house, uninvited! I’m home with my kids. I don’t know you, and I sure as h*** will f*** you up to protect my kids, and I won’t stop my dog from tearing your s*** up, either, should you try to push your way into my house.”

[Guy #1] was now white as a ghost, and he turned around and ran off.

My wife got home about four hours later and I told her about the guys that came to the door and what transpired. She told me that I treated them rudely, and she said she would have just slammed the door in their face. I told her slamming the door in their face would have been rude. I politely told them I wasn’t interested and told them to have a good day. It wasn’t until [Guy #1] stepped into the door that I threatened them.

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An Ugly Side Of Society Has Been Unmasked, Part 14

, , , , , , | Right | August 21, 2021

I am waiting at the gate to board a flight home after vacation. Between groups, families with small children are allowed to board. This is during a federal mask mandate for all persons two and up flying.

Gate Attendant: “How old is your child?”

Parent: “Two.”

Gate Attendant: “I’m sorry, but she needs a mask; it’s a federal requirement.”

Parent: “We have one in our bag. She has a pacifier.”

Gate Attendant: “I’m sorry, she has to be wearing a mask.”

Parent: “She’s one and a half.”

Gate Attendant: “I won’t be able to allow you to fly. I can get a supervisor—”

Parents: “No other flight has made us do that. It’s ridiculous!”

Gate Attendant: “It’s a federal rule, I’m sorry. You won’t be able to fly if she isn’t wearing a mask.”

The parents protest while angrily putting a mask on their child, doing so in a manner that makes the child start wailing. Finally, it’s my turn to board (masked). 

Me: “Thank you for doing your job.”

Gate Attendant: “I’m just following the rules!”

I felt horribly for her. How hard is it to follow a nationwide federal mandate that has played over the speakers every fifteen minutes? And in what world does a pacifier replace a face mask?!

Related:
An Ugly Side Of Society Has Been Unmasked, Part 13
An Ugly Side Of Society Has Been Unmasked, Part 12
An Ugly Side Of Society Has Been Unmasked, Part 11
An Ugly Side Of Society Has Been Unmasked, Part 10
An Ugly Side Of Society Has Been Unmasked, Part 9

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He’s Slow In Many Other Ways

, , , , | Right | August 20, 2021

I grew up in Minnesota. We get some pretty bad winters, and most people learn to drive slowly and carefully when the road is bad. Then, there are the people I meet working as a tow truck driver. Here’s one example.

I’m in my personal vehicle, heading to the garage for work early in the morning. It’s still dark out, and we’ve had about eight inches of wet, heavy, EXTREMELY slippery snowfall overnight, with more snow falling. 

I’m in a chain of cars, all going about twenty miles per hour on a highway with a speed limit of sixty. We get to a straight stretch of road, and I see one set of headlights behind me pull into the other lane and start gaining — fast. A bright red, lifted, souped-up pickup truck flies past me and about eight other cars before darting back into line at the next corner. When we get to the next straight stretch, I watch the truck pull out and speed past a few more cars, until he gets to the front of the line and speeds off into the distance.

It comes as no surprise when, a few miles farther down the highway, I see a familiar bright red, lifted, souped-up pickup truck in the ditch.

I get to the garage, and my dispatcher tells me I have a job waiting for me on the highway I just drove in on. I tell him I know exactly who he’s talking about, and we share a laugh over the story before I get in my tow truck and head back down the highway.

When I get back to the bright red pickup, tow truck lights flashing, the driver jumps out of the truck and walks over, seemingly very agitated.

Driver: “Took you long enough!”

Me: “Yep. Conditions aren’t too great. Can’t risk putting the tow truck in the ditch, because that one would not be a fun story to tell the boss. So, what happened? Is there any damage I need to know about before I hook up?”

Driver: “No, I just slid. I don’t know how you all drive up here with this snow.”

Me: “What do you mean?”

Driver: “Nobody goes the speed limit or anything. I had to pass cars everywhere because everyone was going so slow. That’s what caused me to spin; I tried to change lanes to pass someone and spun.”

Me: “Well, look at it this way. How many of those other cars did you see in the ditch?”

Driver: “But…”

Me: “I’ll be straight with you. I was one of those cars you passed, on my way into the garage. Then, I passed you again after you hit the ditch.”

Driver: “…”

Me: “Why do you think we were all going so slow?”

The driver finally lost his aggressiveness and was pretty sheepish for the rest of the interaction. Fortunately for him, there was no damage to his pickup — only to his ego!

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Learn To Leave Well Enough Alone

, , , , , , | Related | August 13, 2021

It’s Mother’s Day weekend. I have a standard answer for whoever asks me what I’m doing for Mother’s Day that seems to stop any awkward questions. I just tell people, “Oh, I don’t have a mother,” in a very cheerful voice, and that’s usually the end of that, but a coworker has been bothering me all week about my lack of plans.

Coworker: “So, you’re not doing anything for Mother’s Day?”

Me: “Nope.”

Coworker: “But, nothing? Nothing?!

Me: “I don’t have a mother, so why would I do anything?”

Coworker: “That’s so stupid. Everyone has a mother.”

Me: *Flatly* “Well, I don’t so—”

Coworker: “Who gave birth to you? She’s your mother!”

Me: “Surrogate mothers are a thing.”

Coworker: *Sputters* “Who raised you?”

Me: “My dad.”

Coworker: “So do something for him, then!”

Me: “He hates these kinds of holidays.”

Coworker: “You’re not doing anything for anyone this weekend? Wait, is your mother dead?”

Me: “Not as far as I know. Look, I really don’t want to talk about this—”

Coworker: “If she’s not dead, you should at least send her a card to tell her you love her!”

Me: *Fed up* “The woman who gave birth to me made it very clear to me that she hated me and wished that I hadn’t been born. She kept me locked in a dark bathroom for days at a time, without food or human interaction, because I was ‘too loud,’ when I was three years old. I don’t know her address, and even if I did, I would not be sending that b**** a card.”

Coworker: *Pauses* “Oh. Um, right.” *Flees*

If someone tells you they don’t want to talk about something, don’t force them to talk about it.


This story is part of our Best Of August 2021 roundup!

Read the next Best Of August 2021 roundup story!

Read the Best Of August 2021 roundup!

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Time To “Face” The Customers

, , , | Right | August 12, 2021

Due to sickness and other circumstances, our fabric department lead has been out since Saturday. It’s Monday, and I’m trying to price and put away her freight for her. I’m not thrilled about it, and other things have made the day stressful, as well.

I know very little about fabric — basically just how to cut it and where most of it is — and the other coworker who would be able to answer fabric questions better than me has been out sick, also.

I tend to make faces that display my feelings. Masks don’t help the face thing, though most customers understand that I can’t help them.

I have a customer come up to ask me a question. 

Customer: “I’m making a rag quilt.”

I know nothing about quilting except what my mom has mentioned from when she quilted years ago. I make a face that says, “Oh, shoot, I know nothing.”

Me: “I don’t know much about quilting. The two ladies who do aren’t here today.”

Customer: “Is there someone I can call?”

My immediate thought is, “I can’t give out personal phone numbers.” Also, literally no one else in the building is going to know anything more about quilting than I do.

Me: “Um, no. Hopefully, [Fabric Lead] will be here tomorrow.”

At this point, I’m trying to help another customer who needs fabric cut. The first customer makes a point of checking my name tag and saying my name out loud as she walks away as I try to suggest that she call tomorrow.

A few minutes later, I hear the code called for a manager up front but don’t think much of it. My co-manager comes over to me a little after that to ask me about the customer.

Co-Manager: “Did you help a lady making a raincoat?”

Me: “A raincoat? No. But I did have a lady who wasn’t happy with me.”

Co-Manager: “The lady I just talked to? Yeah, she said you rolled your eyes at her.”

Me: “I didn’t roll my eyes. I made a face because I couldn’t help her.”

Co-Manager: “Yeah, I didn’t really believe her. Your customer service is usually pretty good. I just wanted to let you know. She said she was going to take her business to [Nearby Town].”

Me: *Making a face* “Good for her. We probably didn’t want her business anyway.”

A little bit later, I’m whining about the issue to a coworker.

Me: “Yeah, this customer told [Co-Manager] I rolled my eyes at her. I just made a panicked face because I couldn’t answer her question.”

Coworker: “I know that face!”

Sigh. Apparently, I have to work on not making faces when I answer questions.

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