Sounds Like The Purge To Me

, , , , , | Right | October 30, 2018

(I am working the floor at a Halloween store, and see a customer in our mask section trying on clown masks and scaring his girlfriend. I like to suggest a chainsaw to go with the mask, because people like the prop to take pictures with.)

Me: “You know, these chainsaws go really well with the clown masks.”

(I offer him a chainsaw I brought over.)

Customer: “You know what else goes with a clown mask? A neighborhood filled with white, rich people that feel entitled!”

(Mind you, he appears to fit this description.)

Me: *very confused and not quite sure what to say* “Um, yeah. Well, have a wonderful evening, and let me know if I can help you with anything.”

(His girlfriend gave me a look like this wasn’t a rare thing. The rest of the employees and I had a good laugh over my first time having a customer outburst.)

Translation Frustration

, , , , , | Right | October 29, 2018

(I work nights at a local bank’s call center. During the day we have Spanish-speaking agents available. At night we use a translator service line for any non-English speaking customers. To use it, we place the customer on hold and call over to a translator. I know a few words in Spanish but not much. This call came at around 10 pm.)

Me: “Thank you for calling [Bank]. How may I help you?”

Customer: *speaks rapidly in Spanish then pauses*

Me: “Si! Lo siento; no hablo español. Un momento, por favor!” *Yes, I am sorry; I don’t speak Spanish. One moment, please.*

Customer: *speaks rapidly in Spanish again*

Me: “Uhh…” *in a hopeful tone* “No habla español? Hablo ingles?”

Customer: *sighs and speaks slower in Spanish as if to a kid*

Me: “I still don’t speak Spanish, sir.”

Customer: *confused sounding Spanish*

Me: “Can I put you on hold?”

Customer: “Qué?”

Me: “Un momento?”

Customer: “Ohhh… Okay.”

(I put the customer on hold and get a translator. It takes around 30 seconds. The rest of the conversation goes through the translator.)

Me: “How can I help you?”

Customer: “Why don’t you speak Spanish? I pressed the Spanish number.”

Me: “We don’t have Spanish agents at night because few people call in.”

Customer: “Well, that is stupid. Fine, just give me my balance.”

Me: “Okay, can I get your account or card number?”

Customer: “I already gave you this information three times.”

(The customer says a string of words the translator won’t translate, then hangs up.)

Translator: “Wow, that was…  Need me for anything else?”

Me: “Nope. Have a good night.”

Translator: “Good luck!”

What Home Isn’t Improved With Milk?

, , , | Right | October 27, 2018

(It is a half-hour before the home improvement store where I work closes for the night.)

Customer: “Where is the milk?”

Me: “We don’t sell milk. “

Customer: “What do you mean, you don’t sell milk? “

Me: “We don’t sell milk. We never have. Try the [Store #1] next door, or the [Store #2] across the street.”

Customer: “Not any food anywhere in the whole store?”

Me: “We have chips and pop up at the registers.”

(The customer stared at me, confused, for a while before finally leaving.)

Dell-ete This Number

, , , | Working | October 27, 2018

(My son answers our home phone, listens for a moment, and informs me it’s something about a virus. I know what’s coming, so I take the phone from him.)

Me: “Hello?”

Caller: “Hello, I’m calling today because our system has detected a virus on your Microsoft computer.”

Me: “Oh, that’s not good. Which one?”

Caller: “Your Microsoft computer.”

Me: “Yes, which one?”

Caller: “The one that runs Microsoft.”

Me: “We have three computers; they all run Microsoft.”

Caller: “You are asking the brand of computer?”

Me: “Yes”

Caller: “That would be your Dell.”

Me: “Ooh… Swing and a miss. Goodbye.”

Unfiltered Story #123716

, , | Unfiltered | October 20, 2018

(I work at a major retailer that scans or slides IDs for the items where we have to card people. We also are able to do receipt lookups for items purchased using a credit/debit card, check, or gift card with in the return period. This customer has bought Nicorettte & I asked for his ID & he requested that I not scan it.)

Customer: I don’t want my ID scanned because I don’t want them tracking what I’m buying.

(He payed with his credit or debit card.)

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