Groomed For Disappointment

, , , | Right | August 29, 2018

(I work as a mobile pet groomer. A client leaves this message on the phone on a Tuesday.)

Client: “Hi, I’m new and from [City]. I have a Schnauzer and a Shih-Tzu that need grooming; it’s been a while. I’m not working this summer and am very open for times, so your soonest available appointment.”

Me: *calling back that afternoon* “Hi, I’m just getting back to you after you left us a message. We do have an opening due to a cancellation this Friday afternoon.”

Client: “Oh, yeah, Friday isn’t good for me. Do you have anything sooner, even if it’s just one dog?”

Me: “I’m sorry, but this Friday is the soonest opening, and the next is in July.”

(July is over two weeks away.)

Client: “Well, that’s too far out! I’ll just have to get him groomed somewhere else; I need this week, but not Friday, or this weekend, but not tomorrow. Bye.”

(She wanted in right away — which rarely happens for mobile grooming — and she wasn’t really free, and it was not even really summer yet… She never asked the prices, either.)

Basketball Is Of Primary Concern

, , , , | Learning | August 28, 2018

(I am an election judge during our state primaries. The polling place where I am working is in a basketball court in a local school. At one point a bunch of guys, probably in their late teens or early twenties, come in through the school-side doors, dressed up in gym wear and holding a couple basketballs.)

Guy: “So, how long are you guys going to be?”

Head Judge: “We’re here all day.”

Guy: “Well, we want to play here. Can you do this somewhere else?”

Head Judge: “Um… No.”

Guy: “Yeah… We’ll be talking to the superintendent about this. So, you should you start packing up and look for another spot!”

(As the group of players heads out:)

Head Judge: “I suppose I should put that in the incident log.”

(Those boys were never heard from again.)

Bells And Bubbles And Bags, Oh My!

, , , , , | Working | August 28, 2018

(It’s truck day, and my coworker and I are opening our freight in the stock room with no help until other coworkers show up in maybe an hour. For several reasons, our boss has decided that today, he is going to make us lunch. He is in and out of the building checking on people before he begins grilling out back. My coworker and I are opening boxes, etc. I go over to put an empty box where it belongs and as I stand back up, I hit my head on something in one of my coworker’s carts.)

Me: “Ow!”

Coworker: “Are you okay?”

Me: “I think so. Am I bleeding?”

(This would not be the first time I’ve caused myself an injury at work, and my coworkers know I’m slightly accident-prone.)

Coworker: “We need to put you in a bubble!”

(I show her where I got bumped, and she determines that I’m not bleeding, so I go back to boxes.)

Coworker: “Hey, it’s been a while. Did [Manager] forget that he was going to go get you a garbage bin?”

(My coworker has more boxes and garbage than I do, so she uses two garbage bins, while I have been just grabbing a roll and tying bags to things for my styrofoam, etc.)

Me: “He must have.”

(I walk over to the supply area and grab myself a garbage bag, as our boss has obviously forgotten his search for a bin for me. He walks in a moment later, empty-handed.)

Coworker: “Yep, he forgot.”

Manager: “What? What did I forget?”

(He sees me holding a garbage bag and immediately turns back around to go find me an extra garbage bin. I’m used to being forgotten and kept out of the loop, and [Boss] has other things on his mind, so I’m not really surprised that he forgot. He comments on the size of the garbage bag I’ve grabbed myself and I tell him I was just grabbing something to start throwing my garbage in since he forgot about me.)

Me: “[Coworker], I need a bubble and, like, a bell!”

(Other coworkers have commented on how quiet I am and how often they tend to almost run into me because they can’t see or hear me coming around corners, etc. I really do think I need a bell or something.)

Unfiltered Story #118689

, | Unfiltered | August 22, 2018

Customer: I’m having trouble buying an app.

Me: Do you have your device with you?

Customer: Yes.

Me: Let’s see what’s happening here — can you try downloading it again so I can see the error?

Customer: (wakes device, launches an app)

Me: Looks like you already have the app on there.

Customer: No, I’m having trouble with an in-app purchase. (By this time, app has launched and he has a dialog asking for his app store password)

Me: Just put your app store password in there for me please.

Customer: (error pops up saying the purchase can’t be completed, and provides a URL to get help)

Me: Did you go to this site for help?

Customer: Yes. What do I do when I get there?

Me: Not sure – let’s go there and find out. (We go to an adjacent computer and type in the URL). Here’s where you would click on the category of problem you’re experiencing.

Customer: I’m not an idiot. This place is turning into [your competitor]! I’ve been in Information Technology for years. This is a f***-up! (Turns and walks out.)

Age Has Not Slowed Him Down

, , , , , | Right | August 21, 2018

(I am cleaning off tables after the lunch rush when I hear a clatter. I look up to see an elderly man in a motorized cart plowing between two rows of single tables, knocking over one. The salt and peppers shakers fall to the floor, as well as a basket of napkins which scatter everywhere. The man is apparently unconcerned as he continues on and knocks over a second table. I run over to grab the table’s edge before it hits the floor. A woman standing behind him — presumably his wife — speaks up.)

Woman: “I’m so sorry. He doesn’t know when to slow down.”

Me: *annoyed, but trying to remain courteous* “It’s okay, ma’am.”

(Another customer graciously helps me gather the spilled napkins. When I relay the incident to my boss later, she just shakes her head.)

Boss: “Some people should not be driving.”

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