I’m a Korean-American working as a cashier at a liquor store, and I am in my mid-twenties. I have grown up and lived here pretty much all my life and I run into these types of encounters with customers at least twice a month. This type of situation happens frequently with older white males.

Me: “Hi. Did you find everything okay today?”

The customer just stares.

Me: “Yes? No?”

Customer: “Where are you from?”

Me: “Excuse me?”

Customer: “Where are you from?”

Me: “I live here in Minneapolis.”

Customer: “No, where are you really from?”

I know where this is going and want to be a smarta**.

Me: “I grew up in a small town about thirty miles north of here.”

Customer: “No, no, you know what I mean.”

Me: “Nope, I’ve lived here for almost 25 years of my life.”

Customer: “No, no.”

The customer makes motions around his face with his hand.

Customer: “This! Where were you born?”

Me: “Well, I was born in Korea, but I moved here when I was about eighteen mon—”

Customer: “I see, I see! Yes! When I was stationed over in Vietnam, I saw all kinds of Oriental women from all over Asia, and I always thought Korean women were the most beautiful women. They were so delicate and shy! You just remind me of this one woman I met in Hanoi; I think she was Korean or Vietnamese or something, and she was the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen!”

Me: “…”

I work at a smaller branch of a bank where almost everyone is a regular and we are encouraged/required to be extra friendly and chatty with every customer. One particular gentleman is visiting from Nevada and has a habit of coming in a few times a day to withdraw money. He hasn’t been visiting long but has managed to become notorious enough that we usually direct him to our one male teller. This interaction takes place during a rush, so I’m unable to hand him off.

Me: “Welcome back! What can I do for you?”

Customer: “Just a withdrawal.”

Me: “Sounds great. What are you up to today?”

Customer: “I just got done with [behavioral class] and I’m gonna go home and play with myself. I mean—” *leering* “—play my guitar.”  *Winks*

I want to avoid an uncomfortable conversation, so I continue as if he really is talking about playing the guitar.

Me: “Aw, that should be fun!”

The customer is chuckling, making sideways eye contact.

Customer: “Yeah, I think I’m going to call a few people over and have them play with me.”

Me: “Even better!”

Customer: *Still leering* “Heh heh, yeah, maybe you can come over and you know, play with me.”

Me: “Unfortunately, I never did pick up the guitar. That was my cousin’s thing.”

He leans across the counter, makes solid eye contact, and utters the following.

Customer: “Well, in that case, I’ll just have to think about you.”

Me: “Here’s your money, sir. Enjoy your evening with friends.”

As of now, he has one week left of his class and we are ALL counting down the days.

Customer: “I want to return these.”

The customer pulls items out of a bag.

Customer: “I don’t know where my receipt is.”

Me: “Okay. Did you pay with a credit card?”

Customer: “Yeah, I did.”

Me: “I can look up the purchase and do the return with that.”

Customer: “Awesome!”

The customer then stands there, staring at me, and gives me the little head motion telling me to get on with it.

Me: “Do you have the card with you?”

Customer: “Yeah.”

She still just stands there, giving me the look again.

Me: “I need the card. I can’t look up the transaction without the card.”

Customer: “Oh! Okay!”

She hands over the card, and I swipe it and process her return.

Me: “Okay, you’re going to have a credit of [amount] onto your account.”

Customer: “What? The price on this says [higher amount]!”

Me: “Yup, and when you bought it, it was on sale.”

I show her the screen that, in very plain English, shows the breakdown of why she paid what she paid.

Me: “When I swipe your credit card, it’s the exact same as if you had your receipt; this is what you paid.”

Customer: “But I know I spent over $300 here that day. I’m going to go get my statement; I want all my money.”

Me: “You’re getting back exactly what you paid.”

Customer: “No, I’m not, because I know I spent more that day!”

Me: “Did you buy other stuff here that day, or just these three items?”

Customer: “No, I bought other stuff, too.”

Me: “Which you’re not returning.”

Customer: “No, I kept those.”

Me: “So, you’re not getting your money back on those items. That’s why it’s not over the $300 you say you spent.”

Customer: “Oh.”

This, ladies and gentlemen, was a woman who holds a very high job at a very large, global company.

Related:
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 91
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 90
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 89

(It’s a very busy day for phone calls so I frequently have to ask people to hold.)

Me: “Pest Control, can you hold, please?”

Customer: “Is this the Maple Wood office?”

Me: “We are in Minneapolis. Could you hold a moment?”

Customer: “Okay.”

(I finish up with my current caller, which takes about two to four minutes, and then switch back to the lady waiting.)

Me: “Thank you for holding. How can I help you?”

Customer: “It’s so hard to find the numbers to the local office. I must have tried three places so far and they keep giving me new numbers. Anyway, do you have an engine belt for a vacuum?”

Me: *after a few seconds of silence* “No, I’m sorry but you’ve reached a pest control company.”

Customer: “Oh! So sorry! How embarrassing.”

(She hangs up as a trainee is walking by me.)

Trainee: “Weird call?”

Me: “No, she was just looking for vacuum parts.”

Trainee: “Whoops. Why do you have that look on your face?”

Me: “Because our hold ‘music’ is a loop of pest control advertisements and bug jokes. She was on hold for at least three minutes listening to that and never figured it out.”

(I deliver for a local pizza place in a Minnesota suburb. Between deliveries, drivers typically have to do some of the smaller tasks, like answering the phone. It rings and I pick it up.)

Me: “Thank you for calling [Store]. Will this be for carry-out or delivery?”

Caller: “Delivery, please.”

(I get his phone number, and since he’s ordered from us before, his name and address pop up on the system. I confirm both and prepare to take his order, when I get this:)

Caller: “Do y’all sell cheeseburgers?”

Me: *pauses for a second or two* “Uh… no… but we have a cheeseburger pizza…?”

Caller: “Oh, well, that’s close enough.”

(The rest of the transaction proceeded as normal. One would think, though, that someone who’d ordered six or seven times from a pizza place, where “PIZZA” is half our name, would know that we do not sell cheeseburgers.)