I work the overnight shift for a hotel. Usually, it is super quiet because everyone is sleeping. The walls are not soundproof so, occasionally, we get a noise complaint about a TV too loud, people being loud in the hallway, etc.

One night, I received four noise complaints for the same room in five minutes around 1:00 am. I went upstairs with security and knocked on the door. It took ten minutes, but when the guests finally opened the door, I found a live band in the room performing. Needless to say, they all got kicked out of the hotel for the night and banned from coming back.

I work at a popular party supply store. I’m up front cashiering, answering phones, greeting customers, etc. I get a call and this conversation with a very angry customer ensues.

Me: “Thanks for calling [Store]! This is [My Name]; how can I help you?”

Customer: “I bought a package of your latex balloons and they’re broken!“

Me: “Oh, that’s weird! How are they broken?”

Customer: “They won’t float when I blow them up! You changed them! I want a refund!”

Me: “Well, that’s weird. We haven’t changed our latex balloons in years. We can guarantee our balloons to last ten hours. When were they blown up?”

Customer: “I blew them up! Just now! They don’t float! Give me back my money!”

Me: “Sir… how did you blow them up?”

Customer: “What do you mean?! I just blew in them with my mouth. They used to float and now they don’t.”

Me: “Sir. I can assure you, they did not float when you blew them up, and they aren’t floating now because you need to fill balloons with helium for them to float. Helium is lighter than oxygen, so it won’t float if you just blow into them.”

Customer: “That is ridiculous! They always floated before. The balloons are broken.”

Me: “No, they aren’t. It’s high school chemistry.”

Customer: *Hangs up*

Related:
Heli-dum, Part 2
Heli-dum

Coworker: “Oh, s***, she’s back. [My Name], can you please take over the window?”

Me: “Uh, sure.”

I have just got back for winter break, so I have no idea who she’s talking about.

Me: “Hi! Welcome to [Drive-Thru]; how can I help you?”

The woman in the drive-thru is young, early-to-mid-twenties. She has a lip piercing and is driving with a friend. She orders a few drinks and I make them, no problem, making sure to be extra polite because my coworker is so nervous about her.

She gives me extra change so I will give her back an even number in change, but she gives me the wrong change. I give her ninety-five cents back instead of a round dollar — the right change; she needed to give me an extra nickel.

Customer: “What the h*** is this? I need a dollar back; can’t you count?”

I am super-embarrassed and flustered; I have an order on my headset, we are super busy, and I have fifteen drinks to make.

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, if you give me an extra nickel I can call the manager over and reopen the register.”

Customer: “Never f****** mind; learn to count change!”

She drives off. Not even three hours later, she is back, without her friend. I am on the window by then, and I recognize her as I open the window; by then, it is too late.

Customer: “Oh, it’s you again.”

She starts counting out change, slowly. I’m awkwardly hanging out the window, flustered, order in my ear, embarrassed, and angry, but with a huge smile on my face.

Customer: *Looks up* “You can wait!”

She keeps counting out the change, as slow and nasty as she can. She gives it to me and I put it in the till. I hand out her drinks. I can’t be mean, and I don’t want to be quiet, so in the brightest, cheeriest, happiest voice in the entire world, a voice to give a sugar-rush to a chipmunk…

Me: “Sorry about earlier! Have a great day, ma’am!”

Customer: “What a b****!”

Just how horrible of a person do you have to be to get kicked out of a drive-thru? This person got kicked out about a week after I went back to school.

Related:
A Cent’s Worth Of Satisfaction Is Priceless

I am a paid tax preparer. In Minnesota, there’s an additional tax form called the M1PR Rebate of Rent and Property taxes. It’s a repayment of part of your property taxes, or part of the rent your landlord used to pay their property taxes.

It’s filed separately from your normal tax return, and the due date is August 27th of the next year.

It’s the last day to file your income taxes for this year. A client comes in with two sets of taxes, a full tax return for this year, and a rent rebate for last year. It’s not yet August, so there’s plenty of time to file the rent rebate for last year.

I’m getting many, many, many clients. Due to the health crisis, all of our major competitors are closed. We’re the only open tax office in the city.

I’m in triage mode. Many clients are bringing in returns from all sorts of years. This year, last year, three years ago, fourteen years ago… I’ve been letting all of my clients know that this year is the year where the due date is coming up, and I’m only doing this year’s taxes. Prior years can wait till tomorrow when we are still open but don’t have a deadline.

This client is having none of this. They insist on getting their 2018 Renter’s Rebate done right here, right now. “You should do one client at a time!” the client insists.

I pass the client to our manager, who tells the client the same thing. The client then walks out and insists that they’ll get their taxes done elsewhere. They take their unfinished 2019 income taxes with them.

I wish them luck looking for a CPA or other preparer who’s willing to do a prior year’s rent rebate on this night.

Related:
Taxing Taxing, Part 5
Taxing Taxing, Part 4
Taxing Taxing, Part 3
Taxing Taxing, Part 2
Taxing Taxing

This story is part of the Tax Day roundup!

Read the next Tax Day roundup story!

Read the Tax Day roundup!

I’m training a new person. We only schedule current clients but try to help other people that accidentally get to us the best we can.

Me: “Thank you for calling [Company]. How can I help you?”

Customer: “I want to know your pricing on general pest control.”

Me: “Well, I’m not familiar with our pricing, but if I can take your name and number, I can have an inspector give you a call as soon as they are in.”

Customer: *Scoffs* “No, thank you, I think I will deal with people who know what they are doing.” *Hangs up*

Me: *After turning to trainee* “Funny thing about that, the only way people can get to us is by selecting the option that they are a current customer, which he clearly wasn’t. So, the person who wants to only deal with people who knows what they are doing… doesn’t know what he’s doing.”

Trainee: “So we dodged a bullet there?”

Me: “Oh, yeah! Moving on…”