Stay Your Course When They Don’t Stay On Theirs

, , , , | Right | December 22, 2018

(In the mini golf scene, there is a term called “course hopping,” which is when customers change courses after being almost finished with one course and go to another without paying. As such, we are required to watch for this and politely correct customers when they do so. It is a windy and rainy night in June, and I am closing up the place at 10:00 pm. I notice the last group of customers I have is letting their three-year-old daughter run all over the facility, unmonitored.)

Me: “Hey, guys, just a heads up, we’re closed now. No rush, but I have to have everyone out and the lights off in about twenty minutes.”

Lady: “Well, your website says you’re open until 11!”

Me: “Yes, my apologies, but it also says, ‘weather permitting,’ and the owner requires we close when the weather is like this.”

Lady: “Fine.”

Me: “Also, I have to request that your child stays with you on this course, as there’s a lot of things she could get hurt on, or she could fall into a pond!”

Lady: “Yeah, fine.” *shouts for child*

(Fifteen minutes later I don’t hear the child yelling, so I’m assuming they’ve left, yet just as I’m about to start locking up, I check around and see the customers have started on a different course around the corner of the building.)

Me: *walking to them* “Ma’am, I need to close up now.”

Lady: “We’re finishing our game still!”

Me: “You paid for one course. When you reach the end, the 18th hole will take your ball. Did you play the last hole?”

Lady: “My daughter wanted to do this one first; we’ll go back to the last hole after this.”

Me: “Ma’am, I’m sorry, but I can’t allow that. We’re past closing now, and I need to lock up.”

Lady: “Listen, buddy! We paid to play, and you’ve just been trying to rush us out the whole time.”

Me: “Ma’am, if you just finished your game, we wouldn’t be having this conversation right now.”

(The lady throws her club on the ground, grabs her daughter by the wrist hard enough to make her cry, and storms out.)

Lady: *yelling over her shoulder* “Just so you know, you ruined my daughter’s birthday for her!” *to daughter* “I’m sorry, baby, that guy’s a huge d**khead.”

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They’re Not In The Same Club

| Related | July 3, 2017

(We are playing mini golf as a family for the first time. I am 13, and my brother is five. Everything is going well until I notice something: my brother is doing very well!)

Brother: *putts*

Me: “Wait, he’s doing it wrong!”

Mom: “Shh.”

Me: “But he’s not hitting the ball with his club. He’s dragging it to the hole!”

Mom: “Just let him have his fun.”

Me: “But…”

Dad: “He’s too young to know.”

(They told me to ignore it, so I did. Brother won. All I could think about is when I was his age and I would lose a game, they would laugh.)

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Mini Golf Vs Beer Pong

| Right | March 17, 2013

(Two ten-year-old boys come up to the counter.)

Boy #1: “Hey, would you give us some beer?”

Me: “No, you guys aren’t old enough.”

Boy #1: “Oh, man, they don’t even have any Captain Morgan beer. That’s the best.”

Boy #2: “Whoa, you know so much about beer!”

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What’s Yours Is Mine

| Right | January 3, 2011

(In our arcade, we have redeemable prizes for tickets you win by playing games.)

Me: *after counting a little girl’s tickets* “Okay, you have 25 tickets.”

Customer: “Give me a watermelon Air Head!”

Me: “I’m sorry. You don’t have enough tickets for that.”

Customer: “But my President is black!”

Me: “And so is mine.”

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