He Was Just Too Chicken

, , , , , | Right | February 21, 2019

(Our store serves chicken combos that come with fries, gravy, and your choice of sides — mashed potatoes, coleslaw, or macaroni. A customer comes to the drive-thru asking for a two-piece combo.)

Me: “And what side dish would you like with that?”

Customer: “I don’t want no sides; I just want the chicken.”

(Since he only wants the chicken, I punch it in separately, as it will save him about $5. We have a screen beside the drive-thru speaker that shows their order as we enter it.)

Customer: *angrily* “What’s this ‘x-piece chicken, x-piece chicken?”

Me: “Well, since you only want the chicken—“

(I was cut off by the sound of him revving his engine, and a second later saw him speed past my window looking furious. Sorry for trying to save you money?)

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How Do I Put This Deli-cately?

, , , , , , | Right | February 21, 2019

(I am working drive-thru when a woman comes to my window. It’s early in the morning and business is slow, so we get to small talk while her order is being put together.)

Customer: “Yeah, I thought I had to be at work at five, but turns out I was scheduled for six, so I have an hour to kill.”

Me: “Oh, where do you work?”

Customer: “At the [Store] deli.”

Me: “Oh, man…”

Customer: “Oh, have you worked there before?”

Me: “No, but I had a roommate who did, and I’ve heard some stories.” *completely deadpan* “I said fifty grams!”

Customer: *equally deadpan*Not fifty-one!”

(We shared a laugh and I sent her on her way. Be nice to your deli workers, folks.)

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Unfiltered Story #133096

, , , | Unfiltered | December 17, 2018

(My work is doing a secret Santa, and we all pick names out of a hat. Not knowing what my recipient might want, I eventually decide to just give her candy, and pick a small vase to fill with multicoloured layers of gourmet jelly beans. I go to the store to get my beans, and when I am checking out, the bagger is a person with special needs, with a helper standing beside them. He makes an excited sound at the sight of all the delicious jelly beans. I go to the cafe area of the store to fill my vase, keeping a few beans back from each flavour. Once I am done, I bundle up my vase, pour all the leftover beans into one bag, and go up to the bagger.)

Me: “Here, have these!”

(He says nothing and just kind of stares between me and the beans.)

Helper: “Oh, this is a Christmas present! They’re for you!”

(He then makes another excited sound, and gives me a big grin.)

Me: “You’re welcome! I hope you like them.”

You Don’t Want To Sit On The Stool Today

, , , , , | Working | September 6, 2018

(While working at a popular fast food restaurant, I am assigned to work Booth — first drive-thru window — for the shift. Booth is responsible for cleaning the lobby and bathrooms in between cars. After taking an order, I get told over the headset that there is an “emergency” in the men’s room, and head out to deal with it. On my way, I run into the manager who has just gotten on shift.)

Manager: “Hey, [My Name], how are you?”

Me: “Um… I think I’m going to wait to answer that until I find out what an ’emergency in the men’s room’ means.”

(A couple of my coworkers overhear this, and decide to find out themselves what that means. Just then I get a beep that another car has arrived, and head back to the booth to take the order. While I’m in there, I hear my coworkers SCREAMING in horror. Quick note about the layout of this store: the booth is in the corner of the lobby, and the hallway to the bathrooms is on the opposite corner. So, I could hear them from down the hall, around two corners, across the lobby, and through the very heavy door of my booth. After finishing with the order, I head back out, where my manager is heading towards the bathrooms with a garbage bag and roll of paper towels.)

Manager: “Go back to Booth.”

Me: “But aren’t I—”

Manager: “NO! Go back to Booth!”

(I later saw him exiting the bathrooms carrying the garbage bag, completely full of dirty paper towels. I later heard from my coworkers that it was diarrhea… all over the floor.)

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Has ID, Still No Idea

, , , , , , | Working | April 20, 2018

A few years ago, I had my name legally changed, only keeping my last name. Shortly after, I went to the liquor store. Since I’d only become legal the year before, the cashier did their duty and carded me. I presented my two pieces of ID, bought my beer, and went home.

Later, I was going through my wallet and realized I had accidentally put in my old medical card instead of my new one. So, I had presented two pieces of ID with two completely different names, and the cashier hadn’t batted an eye.

Has ID, Has An Idea

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