That’s Why The Navy Has A Poop Deck

| Learning | April 17, 2014

(I’m in class for my military training. During a lecture, I get a strong call from Mother Nature. I quietly tell the person next to me to assure accountability and leave. I haven’t been feeling good the past few days so I’m there for twenty minutes. When I get back the class is on a short break. The acting squad leader approaches me.)

Squad Leader: “Where’d you go?”

Me: “Latrine.”

Squad Leader: “Why didn’t you say anything?”

Me: “I told the person next to me. Did she not say anything?”

Squad Leader: “Why didn’t you tell me?”

Me: “You were across the room…”

Squad Leader: “You need to tell me when you leave!”

Me: “It was urgent! You were 20 feet away!”

Squad Leader: “You need to tell me!”

Me: *giving up* “Okay, fine.”

(He leaves, satisfied. I turn to another classmate who was eavesdropping.)

Me: “Does he seriously expect me to interrupt a lecture by screaming ‘I gotta poop!’ across the room?”

Classmate: “Well, this is the Army…”

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Unequal Views Of Equality

| Learning | January 20, 2014

(I’m walking back from lunch when a girl from the IT class comes up to talk to me. This girl happens to be a very vocal feminist.)

IT Girl: “Hey, [My name]! I just heard they’re starting to have an honor grad for the IT classes like they used to! There’s never been a female IT honor grad, so I’ve been trying to talk to the instructors about awarding it to one of us this time so that it’s fair.”

Me: “Let me get this straight. In honor of equality, you think they should award a female as honor grad even if she’s not the top student, instead of a male who is? Yeah, that seems totally logical.”

IT Girl: *not getting the sarcasm dripping from my voice* “Yeah! I knew you’d agree with me, because you’re such a strong female, too!”

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