Not Clued Up On This Whole Military Racket

, , , , , , , | Working | January 5, 2019

This is a story my mom told me about one of her friends from years ago. Her friend was working part-time on a Navy base giving out equipment to service members using the sporting facilities — tennis courts, pool, gym, etc. The service member would have to sign in with their name and rank.

One time she had an older gentleman come up and he signed his rank as “R.A.” She saw that and said, “You look a little old to be a Radioman’s Assistant.” He looked at her and said, “That’s Rear Admiral.” She said, “Uh, well, here’s your tennis racket, Admiral. Enjoy your game.”

She made sure she wasn’t there when he brought the racket back.

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Some People Have Been Disabled All Their Wife

, , , , , | Friendly | November 26, 2018

This was a story my father told me back when we lived on an Air Force Base. The Air Force has a place called the Base Exchange; it’s a military department store. Like all stores, it has handicapped parking. One day a lady is about to pull into one of said spots when another zooms into the spot.

The lady who gets out of the car in the handicapped spot has no sticker and no mark on her license plate. The first lady clearly has the blue rear view mirror tab plus a sticker. She rolls down her window to ask the lady in a hurry if she could move or put up her handicapped tab. She says this all politely. The lady in a hurry proceeds to rant at nearly the top of her lungs about how she can park wherever the h*** she wants, that her husband makes way more than here, and that she should mind her own business.

The first lady who has the proper stickers is obviously upset, so she goes to BX management, and they eventually notify the SPs (Security Police). But when they hear who the rude lady is, they call someone else. It turns out she is married to a general, who personally comes down to tell her that she has no right to do something like that and that he isn’t paying to get the car back when it gets towed. Apparently, this isn’t the first time she has done this, but this time he’s calling her out in front of others, tired of this. He personally apologizes to the lady who needed the spot and has his fuming, embarrassed wife do the same.

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Unfiltered Story #119364

, , , , | Unfiltered | September 3, 2018

I have worked at a small store on a military base for over two years, so most of the regulars know me by name.

A lady comes in, in uniform, and asks for some cigarettes, I grab the pack she’s pointing to and double check that they’re the correct brand. She says yes, I ring her out and go to the next customer. Next thing I know, she pops back up saying that those aren’t the right cigarettes and that she wants a refund or to switch them out.

Since they’re cigarettes, I can’t do that at our store and when I reply with that she loses her mind; ranting and raving about how I made her day so much worse while I have a line full of people standing behind her watching this woman in uniform go off.

After a minute or two of this, one of the ladies in civilian dress (who I’ve known for years at this point) steps up and asks for her name and SO’s name because SHE was higher rank than the first woman and was going to report her.

She then proceeds to follow her out to the parking lot and tears her a new one!

No Power For That Light-Bulb Moment

, , , | Working | June 19, 2015

(I work overseas for the U.S. military. There is a periodic inspection of our living facilities and an inventory of all the items in our places. On the day my inspection is scheduled there is an explosion at the main power plant and half the country is without power for several hours. My inspection is done by candle light and with flashlights.)

Chief Inspector: “Okay. Everything seems to be in order but I want to go over the paperwork with you. Would you please turn on the lights so we can do this?”

Me: “Uhm… no.”

Chief Inspector: “Why not?”

Me: “Really? You just got done doing an inspection by candle light. What makes you think I can magically turn on the lights now that you are done?”

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Not Uniform Behavior

, , , , , , | Friendly | October 16, 2014

(We’ve just come home from a nearly year-long deployment and we’re at our homecoming, where I’m looking for my wife in the crowd. She spots me, comes running up, and jumps… on my buddy, who is next to me. In her defense, we all look the same in our uniforms.)

Wife: “Ahhhh! I can’t believe you’re home! I’ve missed you so much!”

Buddy: “Oh… I missed you, too!”

(My wife leans in to kiss my buddy.)

Me: “Whoooooa there, [Buddy]! You wanna put my wife down?”

Wife: *realizing what’s she’s done and jumps down* “OH, MY GOD! OH, MY GOD!”

Me: “When were you gonna tell her, man?”

Buddy: “I was going to… eventually!”

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