Unfiltered Story #107397

, , | Unfiltered | March 18, 2018

Teacher: *showing fantasy maps turned in without names* “And here is the Map of Uncharted Islands. Whose is it?”

Me: “Wait, but if it’s a Map of the Uncharted islands…”

Classmate #1: *catching on* “…then they’re Charted Islands.”

Classmate #2: “Oxymoron islands.”

Teacher: (Joking) “This ain’t no oxymoron.”

(He was a great teacher. Once, he gave me part of his clementine, because he had already eaten five and I was hungry.)

A De-Graded Friendship

, , , , , , | Learning | March 13, 2018

(I’m in sixth grade and we are about to have math class for first period. Our homework was to have a parent sign a test and our math teacher is VERY strict about signatures.)

Classmate #1: “I forgot to have my parents sign my test!”

Classmate #2: “Oh, my God, same!”

(They sign each other’s tests, attempting to replicate each other’s mother’s signatures. A few minutes later, class starts and our teacher comes around to check the tests. He stops suddenly at my two classmates’ tables.)

Teacher: “Did your mom really sign this?”

Classmate #1: “Yes. Of course.”

Teacher: “Are you sure? This doesn’t look like her signature.”

Classmate #1: “No, I’m sure.”

Teacher: *to Classmate #2* “Is that really her mom’s signature? If you lie you’ll get an infraction.”

Classmate #2: “Wait, she signed it! I didn’t do anything! Give her the infraction!”

Classmate #1: “Her mom didn’t sign it, either. Why should I get blamed, too, if you won’t blame her?”

Classmate #2: “F*** you!”

(This is how you break a friendship. They both got infractions, and their moms weren’t too happy. Just put up with the bad grade. It isn’t worth it.)

The Grade Is Mightier Than The Sword

, , , , , , | Learning | March 9, 2018

I am an avid reader; I’ve read The Lord of the Rings at least twice a year between ages ten and fifteen.

At age twelve, my English class requires us to do book reports on a regular basis. Because I read quickly and am able to smoothly summarize the books I read, for one report I ask if I can do an entire four-book young adult series; in total, it’s still under the size of any one The Lord of the Rings book. The teacher agrees, and I write a report on each book, being sure to include a magical sword which is clearly described as being conscious in its own right.

I got a poor grade for not doing a single report, and because “swords can’t be characters.” But at least I learned that I never had to put any real effort into my future book reports.

Going Back To My Father’s Roots

, , , , , | Learning | March 1, 2018

(I am in a beginner-level Spanish class. Even though this is most students’ first experience with learning another language, the class is encouraged to discuss topics entirely in Spanish as much as possible. It’s a Monday morning, and the lesson of the day has to do with descriptions of events, and deeper responses to, “How are you?” conversation starters, beyond the typical, “I’m well, thanks. How are you?”)

Profesora: “¿Quien puede decir como fue su fin de semana?” *Who can tell how their weekend went?*

(A student, whose “Spanish name” is Patricio, volunteers.)

Patricio: “Este fin de semana no fue bien, porque mi papa esta enfermo.” *This weekend did not go well, because my dad is sick.*

(At least, this is what he tries to say. However:)

Profesora: “Your potato is sick?”

(The class shared a laugh and Patricio turned an embarrassed, pink shade as the teacher took this opportunity to explain the importance of certain punctuations, specifically the accent, indicating emphasis. Patricio, trying for papá [father], instead emphasizing the first syllable [PA-pa], accidentally called his father a potato.)

The Wrong Answers Are The Most Delicious

, , , , | Learning | February 8, 2018

(This happens in a sixth-grade math class.)

Teacher: “Make sure you only combine like terms. Terms that are different are like apples and oranges. If you combine them, you end up with fruit salad instead of the answer.”

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