(The middle school I send my daughter to has a parent meeting one night during which they discuss their new approach to widespread bullying in the school.)

Principal: “All the administrators met this past summer to come up with a revolutionary new approach to our bullying problem. We believe we have found a great new strategy that will greatly reduce bullying. Here are two of our students to demonstrate it! Student #1 is the bully, and Student #2 is the bullying victim. Please watch carefully.”

(The principal smiles proudly and leaves the stage as students walk on.)

Student #1: “You’re ugly! You’re ugly!”

Student #2: “Hey, that is very hurtful. Please stop.”

Student #1: “I didn’t realize I was hurting your feelings. I’ll stop right away. Thank you for telling me.”

(The students walk off stage as the principal comes back up.)

Principal: “And that is our new strategy! We are going to tell the students to use civil discourse to solve bullying conflicts. Are there any questions?”

Parent #1: “Yes. Were you ever actually in middle school?”

Principal: “Why, yes—”

Parent #2: “You didn’t learn much from it, did you?”

(I’m an intern teacher and several years younger than many of the other teachers. I teach a mythology unit, I made a quick reference to Pandora’s box, and the game ‘Borderlands.’ A week later, a student approaches me.)

Student: “I like that you referenced Borderlands in class.”

Me: “I’m glad you liked it! The game had a lot of elements of the myth in it, didn’t it?”

Student: “But how did you know about it?”

Me: “I played through it when it first came out. Actually, I liked it so much that I just bought Borderlands 2.”

Student: *completely dumbfounded* “You… play games?”

Me: “…yes?”

(I just started band class with a friend of mine who has been playing for a few years. During class I tap her on the shoulder.)

Me: “What this thing called?”

Friend: “Oh, that’s the pad for the key.”

(I proceed to raise my hand to get the teachers attention.)

Teacher: “We’re almost through with this piece, can you wait?”

Me: “No. My pad fell out.”

(The entire class goes quiet, a few girls giggle and my male teacher looks completely horrified.)

Friend: “No! No! She means the pad for the key on her instrument! It fell out so she can’t play!”

(I am so embarrassed that I don’t raise my hand for anything for a whole month.)

(I am in sixth grade. We are having a highly ineffective anti-bullying class meeting. As student responds to me bringing up the fact that gay students are targets of bullying at the school.)

Student: “I just don’t get why you guys have to be so dramatic about everything. You aren’t being bullied or whatever. If you have to be gross, it’s okay that we make fun of you.”

Me: “You’re not even pretending to be tolerant, are you? See, in my opinion, tolerance is pretty important—”

Teacher: “[My name]!”

Me: “…yeah?”

Teacher: “You’re using awfully big words for someone your age, aren’t you? I don’t think anyone here understands what you are trying to say!”

Me: “Um, we’re in middle school, not elementary. I really think they—”

Teacher: “Let’s have a survey. Raise your hand if you know the word ‘tolerance.'”

(About 30% of my classmates raise their hands.)

Teacher: “See?”

Me: *sigh*

(We’re in seventh grade, and we’ve just completed the Cooper Test, which tests for physical fitness. The teacher seems to be disappointed with our results.)

Teacher: “Wow, you guys really have the condition of 12-year-old girls.”

Me: “Sir, no offense, but we are 12-year-old girls.”