(Our history teacher is notoriously terrifying. He gives students detentions for almost everything. He is also a Lord of the Rings fan. My sister is late to class.)
Teacher: “[Sister’s name], why are you late?”
(My sister takes a breath and puts her hands behind her back.)
Sister: “But sir, a student is never late. Nor is she early. She arrives precisely when she means to.”
(The teacher blinks for a second.)
Teacher: “Is that so?” *points at the board* “A wizard detention for Gandalf, then!”
(My sister writes her name on the board.)
Teacher: “Good. Now, then—” *spins around and looks at me* “You know what I don’t get? Gimli smashes his axe on the Ring, and it breaks. Then one second later, HE HAS ANOTHER AXXXE!”
Student: “Maybe he has a spare?”
Teacher: “What, a cart full of axes behind him? Anyway. We have a different schedule today, so your lunch period will be separated.”
Me: “Cut in half, as it were.”
Teacher: “Like an orc.”
Me: “…or Frodo’s finger.”
(Only three of the students plus my sister and I understood the references, unfortunately. My sister served about three seconds in detention before she was let go early by the teacher.)
