(My biology teacher moves to a new classroom directly above his old one.)

Student: “Isn’t this [Biology Teacher]’s class? Where did he go?”

(The current teacher points upstairs.)

Student: “He’s DEAD?!”

(I am a very quiet and passive kid, which makes me a target of bullies. We have an event outside the classroom before physics class, and one of the kids is bothering me. The teacher comes out to announce that it is time to return to class.)

Teacher: “Go ahead kids; I’ll catch up in a moment.”

(We all go to the classroom and, since we already have assigned work, start to solve it. After a few minutes, the teacher comes to the classroom and starts doing rounds and checking the students’ work. He comes to my desk.)

Teacher: “What’s this? You haven’t done anything in this time?”

(I am confused, as I have been working.)

Me: “What? I—”

Teacher: “No, no, I won’t allow this. You’re coming with me to see the principal.”

(He guides me outside, with me completely scared and confused. We reach the principal’s office.)

Teacher: “This is him.”

Principal: “Thank you.” *to me* “Your teacher here just told me you were getting bullied. Can you tell me more?”

(It turns out that my teacher’s act was to get me to the principal without the bullies thinking I was going to tattle on them! To this day I still hold that teacher in very high regard.)

(I am a student teacher observing my mentor teacher walk her class through a lab sheet. As part of the class requirements, we are going over rocks and minerals, and how to identify them by the color of their residue.)

Mentor Teacher: *examines the response that Student #1 has written* “[Student #1], could I please borrow your sheet?”

(Student #1 passes their sheet to the mentor teacher.)

Mentor Teacher: *holds up sheet and indicates one of the questions* “For this section, please make sure to emphasize that when you use the plate to obtain the residue, that this is the mineral streaking test, instead of writing something like: ‘In [Mentor Teacher]’s class, [Student #2] and I streaked.'”

(A brief moment of silence occurs as everyone processes what [Student #1] has written. In the following moment, the class bursts into laughter in unison.)

(I’m in the sixth grade. I sit down with my friend in my first science class of the year. My teacher enters shortly after. After a brief introduction, he starts a little speech.)

Teacher: “Kids these days; you’ve all been taught the wrong things by your elementary school teachers.”

(The teacher takes out some matches, water, and a $20 bill.)

Teacher: “Why does water put out fire?”

Student: *raises hand* “Water puts out fire because the fire needs ox—”

Teacher: “WRONG!” *lights $20 bill on fire, then pours water on it* “Water doesn’t put out fires because it stops fueling oxygen to the flames. It works because the great god Ahura Mazda says it works!” *takes a paper plane and throws it to the back of the room* “Aerodynamics don’t work because of the laws you’ve all been taught. It works because the great god Ahura Mazda SAYS it works!”

(At this point, everyone’s convinced he’s either completely nuts, or they’ve caught on like I have.)

Me: *whispering to friend* “This guy’s nuts… I like it.”

Teacher: *regains composure* “See what I just told you? Forget it. I was lying. That’ll teach you not to believe everything an adult will tell you.”

(I teach a religion class at a private school. We are doing a unit on Christianity. I am explaining the concept of regeneration.)

Me: “Basically Christians believe that when you convert to Christianity, your spiritual self is regenerated into a new, better version of you.”

Class: *blank stares*

Me: “It’s like when you re-spawn in Halo, but instead of re-spawning as the same old space marine, you re-spawn as Master Chief.”

Class: “THAT MAKES SO MUCH SENSE!”