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Couldn’t Wait Until The End Of The Period

| Learning | September 4, 2013

(I just started band class with a friend of mine who has been playing for a few years. During class I tap her on the shoulder.)

Me: “What this thing called?”

Friend: “Oh, that’s the pad for the key.”

(I proceed to raise my hand to get the teachers attention.)

Teacher: “We’re almost through with this piece, can you wait?”

Me: “No. My pad fell out.”

(The entire class goes quiet, a few girls giggle and my male teacher looks completely horrified.)

Friend: “No! No! She means the pad for the key on her instrument! It fell out so she can’t play!”

(I am so embarrassed that I don’t raise my hand for anything for a whole month.)

Their Vocabulary Is Intolerable

| Learning | August 26, 2013

(I am in sixth grade. We are having a highly ineffective anti-bullying class meeting. As student responds to me bringing up the fact that gay students are targets of bullying at the school.)

Student: “I just don’t get why you guys have to be so dramatic about everything. You aren’t being bullied or whatever. If you have to be gross, it’s okay that we make fun of you.”

Me: “You’re not even pretending to be tolerant, are you? See, in my opinion, tolerance is pretty important—”

Teacher: “[My name]!”

Me: “…yeah?”

Teacher: “You’re using awfully big words for someone your age, aren’t you? I don’t think anyone here understands what you are trying to say!”

Me: “Um, we’re in middle school, not elementary. I really think they—”

Teacher: “Let’s have a survey. Raise your hand if you know the word ‘tolerance.'”

(About 30% of my classmates raise their hands.)

Teacher: “See?”

Me: *sigh*

You Throw Tests Like A Little Girl

| Learning | August 19, 2013

(We’re in seventh grade, and we’ve just completed the Cooper Test, which tests for physical fitness. The teacher seems to be disappointed with our results.)

Teacher: “Wow, you guys really have the condition of 12-year-old girls.”

Me: “Sir, no offense, but we are 12-year-old girls.”

Pray They Are Just Clowning Around

| Learning | August 15, 2013

(My AP Human Geography class is getting ready to go to a Model UN conference. Some of us are getting nervous and asking random questions. The teacher has been teaching for almost as long as we’ve been alive.)

Teacher: “Relax, people, I’ve done this rodeo before!”

Student: “Were you the clown?”

Caught Read Handed

| Learning | August 9, 2013

(I’m in the gifted education program, and obsessed with reading. Each day I come with three non-school related books in my book bag, and finish the class assigned reading in a day when it is assigned for a full month. When I get to sixth grade, the teacher has heard about this.)

Teacher: “[My name], come here. I know you like to read ahead in the assigned reading, and I don’t want you to do that. From now on you’ll be getting these once a week.”

(She hands me a photo-copied packet of two chapters.)

Teacher: “Please don’t lose them.”

(I’m furious, but being small and shy, I nod, and finish the two chapters by the next class. My best friend feels sorry for me, and gives me her copy of the book. The next day in class, I’m reading one of my extra books.)

Teacher: “[My name], what are you doing?”

Me: “Reading!”

Teacher: “Where is your packet?”

Me: “I didn’t bring it, because [friend] gave me her book and let me finish it!”

(The teacher is raging, stops class to lecture me, and ends up confiscating my book from home. I’m now forbidden from reading in her class, and tell my mom about it.)

Mom: “Well, that’s stupid of her. School starts at nine tomorrow, right? I’m going to go up there and raise hell.”

(True to her word, my mother goes to the principal, who calls the teacher, and she and my mother proceed to throw fits in the principal’s office; my mother wins. She gets the reading list for the year, gets all the books from the library, and I read them in a week. From then on, I always made sure the teacher saw me read her books in her class.)