(My social studies teacher has a substitute teacher. We are talking about how families have to travel to places just to vote. Student #1 is a the class clown and a bit of an airhead.)
Substitute: “My husband was born in Hong Kong so walking all the way to Hong Kong just to vote would be outrageous.”
Student #1: “So, your husband is Japanese, right?”
(My friend and I both turn around, trying not to laugh.)
Friend: *stifling his laughter* “Hong Kong is a totally different country.”
Me: “We learned about Hong Kong! Japanese people come from Japan, stupid.”
Student #1: “YOU’RE STUPID!”
(He still asks these stupid questions and yells the same come-back each time.)
(This occurs in grade seven, meaning that everyone here is about twelve or thirteen. We’re working on a silly fractions exercise which is more like fourth-grade level, in which the student must find the fractions of the consonants, vowels, etc. of the word ‘BINGO’.)
Girl #1: “Hey, what’s a cone-so-nahnt?”
(I’m about to answer, when suddenly…)
Girl #2: “Y’know, it’s, like, a place! Like Ontario, y’know?”
Me: *face-desks repeatedly*
(I’m in chorus class. My class tends not to sing as loudly as we could.)
Teacher: *to altos* “There are 10 of you, but it sounds like 2 people! So let’s DOUBLE our sound!”
Me: “So we can get two-fifths of the sound we need?”
(My students are doing a geometry test. One of the boys has got a diagram wrong a few times and has erased his work to the point that the given lines aren’t visible anymore.)
Student: “No! I have rubbed it so many times it doesn’t work!”
(Cue laughter.)
(I’m in my Spanish class. The teacher is talking about our final exam.)
Teacher: “Instead of a normal test, there’s an essay and an oral speaking test. So there’s no real final exam.”
Student #1: “That means no final exam, right?”
Teacher: *sighs* “Yes, [Student #1]. For the third time, no final exam.”
Student #2: “So… we don’t have a final exam?”
Teacher: “No! There is no final exam!”
Student #3: “Wait a minute! What’s this about no final exam?”
(Everyone face-palmed.)
