(This occurs during a discussion of Turkey’s government in social studies class.)

Teacher: “Now, their government is a bit like the French government in which they have a parliament with both a president and a prime minister…”

Principal: “Excuse me, Mrs. [Teacher]? Can I talk to you for a moment?”

(My teacher and the principal go out into the hall to have a short discussion.)

Teacher: *coming back into the room* “Now, where was I? Oh yes, now they have a turkey and a prime minister…” *the whole class starts laughing* “What did I just say?”

Friend: “That’s going on the quote list!”

(We’re in English class and discussing what careers we want in the future. One of my classmates is rather bad at English, so she usually ends up saying something completely different than was intended.)

Classmate: “I wanna be a prostitute!”

(The entire class falls silent.)

Me: “Do you mean a prosecutor?”

Classmate: “No, a prostitute! I wanna prostitute people!”

Me: “… I’m FAIRLY certain you mean a prosecutor who prosecutes people.”

Classmate: “What’s the difference?”

Me: “Well, a prosecutor works with cops and knows a lot about the law. The prostitute is paid to have sex with people.”

Classmate: “Oh. Then, yeah, I wanna be a prosecutor.”

(The entire class lets out a sigh of relief.)

Classmate: *under her breath* “But the other option sounds pretty fun, too…”

(I’m in seventh grade at math class. My teacher is complaining about the mess we make.)

Teacher: “I’m tired of cleaning up after you! If I wanted to clean up after thirty people, I would’ve had thirty kids!”

Student: “That would hurt!”

Teacher: “Not all at once!”

(I am in my broadcasting class. Due to some technical difficulties, our tricaster set our camera in black and white. My classmates were joking about it, which I found funny, until…)

Student #1: “Welcome to the broadcast in the 1950s!”

Student #2: “They didn’t even HAVE technology in 1950s!”

(This happens when I end up in the rather loud annoying group of girls for a group assignment. Note: These girls are notorious for not doing any work in group assignments, and this is on Monday.)

Girl #1: “So, [My Name], what are we going to do for this project?”

Me: “I’m not sure.”

Girl #2: “Well, you should! You’re going to be doing most of the work anyway. I KNOW! We’ll do the speech!”

Me: *still quiet* “I’d prefer not—”

GIrl #3: “Geez, [My Name]! We’re doing a speech, and you’re going to need to speak louder than THAT if you want the class to hear you!”

Me: “I’ll write the speech, we’ll all do research, and send what you find to me.”

Girls #1 #2 & #3: “Okay!”

Me: “I’ll need the research papers by the end of the week, and then I’ll have another week to write the speech.”

(Fast forward to Thursday afternoon:)

Girl #1: “[My Name], have you finished the speech yet?”

Me: “No, you still haven’t sent me the research papers. I’ve written mine, and I still need yours, [Girl #2]’s, and [Girl #3]’s.”

Girl #1: “Oh, well send me yours so that the three of us can see what sort of things we’re looking for.”

(The day before and I still haven’t gotten them, so I email them asking for it. Girl #1 sends me my research sheet, with a few sentences changed to the point of not making sense. Girl #2 sends me a Wikipedia page with links still in it, and Girl #3 sends me nothing, I manage to make a speech using what I have. I then send it to Girl #3 saying that because she didn’t really do anything she can read it out. The next day this happens.)

Teacher: “[My Name], I need you to stay at the end of class. I want to speak to you.”

(After class ends:)

Me: “You wanted to speak to me?”

Teacher: “Yes, your group said that for the assignment you did no work, and that they were forced to do everything.”

Me: “…”

Teacher: “And because you didn’t do anything, I’m going to have to fail you.”

Me: “I have proof I did work.”

Teacher: “Really? Show me.”

(I showed her the emails and the dates on all the computer documents. I got an ‘A’ for all my work, while the others all failed. I didn’t want to get them failed, but the teacher was very strict about students who did no work.)